melancholy123 Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 I had a friend who morphed into something like this girl, she was always calling me and ranting and hogging the convo and it got to the point where I didnt answer my phone anymore if it was her. Eventually she stopped calling. Your situation is different as you are part of a group that you like, other than her. The only way you are going to stop this is to drop out of the group. Everything you've tried hasnt worked. Block and delete the girl from your phone and social media. Return anything she sends to you. I know you like the group but she has ruined it for you. Link to comment
tallydoo Posted July 21, 2018 Author Share Posted July 21, 2018 I had a friend who morphed into something like this girl, she was always calling me and ranting and hogging the convo and it got to the point where I didnt answer my phone anymore if it was her. Eventually she stopped calling. Your situation is different as you are part of a group that you like, other than her. The only way you are going to stop this is to drop out of the group. Everything you've tried hasnt worked. Block and delete the girl from your phone and social media. Return anything she sends to you. I know you like the group but she has ruined it for you. You're right--she has absolutely ruined the group for me. Every time I log in, I'm dreading having notifications or tags from her, and it makes me feel really uncomfortable that I'm someone's online journal, even when I've told her I don't want to be. I'm going to take a hiatus from the group for a while--I have plenty on my plate for the rest of the summer as it is--and go from there. The people that I'm close to in the group have other ways of contacting me if they want. Link to comment
tallydoo Posted July 21, 2018 Author Share Posted July 21, 2018 You've handled it well. She is an emotional vampire. You need to cut off her supply source. Forever!!! This chick needs professional help, but she will never change. This type never does. I've thought about telling her to take our conversations to her therapist: if someone flat out says that they don't think their personality meshes with yours and continually gives you short replies or ignores you, why would you continue trying to win them over? Link to comment
tallydoo Posted July 21, 2018 Author Share Posted July 21, 2018 To add to my prior advice: I have a neighbor like this. We all bought new townhomes 15 years ago in a brand new community. Yes, for 15 years, I've been avoiding this one particular neighbor. We became fast friends when we first met, as we are similar ages, both single, professional, etc. Started doing a few things together, until I quickly realized she was like this friend of yours. Endless phone calls, messages, etc. She even drove from her house to my house (6 houses away) and sat outside one night calling me, messages saying "I can see your lights and tv are on". Yes, it was that bad. Because she's my neighbor, and we participate in an HOA, I cannot completely avoid her. I completely stopped responding to her though. Literally. Unless it involves our houses and the HOA, I ignore. Ex.: HOA says we have to do "x", then I respond to her email. "She" says we should do "x", I ignore. I purposely go the other way when I see her in my sight. If we do cross paths, I give a quick wave/nod, then move on. If she tries to engage in conversation, I suddenly remember that I have something on the stove. I've been hoping for 15 years that she'll meet her knight in shining armor and move away, but no such luck. So I do have experience with these types, ugh. I'm so sorry--that sounds exhausting and she sounds like a nut! It's so frustrating to feel like you constantly have to defend your boundaries. Thanks for sharing. I hope she finds her Prince Charming soon!! Link to comment
catfeeder Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 Why not give this woman numbers to the local abuse hotline where free counseling is offered etc, so she is not relying on you for all of her support? I agree with this. I'd compile a list of hotline numbers and websites, send those to her, and tell her that you will not be continuing any private messaging or calls. Leave it that vague, stop responding to her messages, and block her. While I can appreciate that you may feel squirmy about this, you'll need to recognize exactly what you want HER to recognize--she has other resources available. Whether she chooses to use those or not is on her, not you. Your job is to drop your side of the tug rope. Period. Link to comment
tallydoo Posted July 23, 2018 Author Share Posted July 23, 2018 I agree with this. I'd compile a list of hotline numbers and websites, send those to her, and tell her that you will not be continuing any private messaging or calls. Leave it that vague, stop responding to her messages, and block her. While I can appreciate that you may feel squirmy about this, you'll need to recognize exactly what you want HER to recognize--she has other resources available. Whether she chooses to use those or not is on her, not you. Your job is to drop your side of the tug rope. Period. Agreed. I blocked her this weekend and have stepped away from the group chat, and I honestly feel so much better already. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 Agreed. I blocked her this weekend and have stepped away from the group chat, and I honestly feel so much better already. Wow. Impressive and good for you! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.