I just don’t know what to do..

[jessicia]

Hello! I’m new on here and really would like some advice.

 

Idk if this is for the best or not.. how do you truly know when you’ve fell out of love with someone?? I’m trying to work things out and not so much have I felt out of love but I feel like our relationship has turned into a friendship.. but my boyfriend feels different. I guess you could say I feel like there’s no magic between us anymore. HELP

[DanZee]

Well, you've described it correctly. When your relationship feels more like a friendship, then you may have fallen out of love. The sex is also unexciting and you don't think of the other person much when you're not with them. In a relationship there's always one person who feels more deeply than the other. But in the end, it's probably not fair to your boyfriend to stay with him if you don't love him.

[Keyman]

The question is, does the relationship mean enough to fight for it? To make it what it was and to try to feel that love again? Or, is it meh, there are plenty of guys out there, who cares?

 

This is an important question going forward. Because often it is the woman asking the man for the commitment, only to turn around after a time boring and start looking for the next guy.

 

If you want this relationship and want that magic feeling between you, you need to work with him to get it. If you don't want to make it work, leave him and let him find someone that is interested in making it work.

[SGH]

I'm going to second Keyman. Feeling "in love" is definitely not the only important part of a relationship, and I think people often jump the gun with breaking up over issues like the proverbial spark. How old are you? How long have you dated? Do other issues exist?

 

If the relationship is majority good, and you haven't really assessed what has lead to the change in feelings, I would do that before knee-jerking your way out of the relationship. You may come to regret the decision down the line when you realize that most relationships move past the honeymoon phase to develop into a longer lasting and more sustainable form of love.

[jessicia]

I’m 23.. my boyfriend is 28 and there’s been so many issues but we’ve been fighting together to make our relationship work. Things were so different and we were able to find the magic but here lately it’s been arguments.. after arguments and he’s bipolar which doesn’t help at all so he does have a short temper and I feel we’re both dealing with a lot in our life right now but it’s so weird to me bc I feel more of a best friend then a girlfriend and I want to make it work but idk how to go about that he gets mad when I try to talk about this issue I guess because maybe he doesn’t feel the same or think the same as me about our relationship going down hill.. I thank you all for the reply I really appreciate your advice.

[jessicia]

And also we have been together for a year but when we found one another we was dealing with so much in life and helped one another.. we’ve been threw a lot [emoji17]

[No1]

I don't think a relationship should include a lot of fighting together to make it work. At that point you are just staying in the relationship to have someone to argue with.

The point is, you are not happy. It doesn't matter what he feels, what he believes or what he thinks. You are not happy and that makes a relationship very hard.. add in constantly fighting and that makes a good relationship very difficult. You might have to be the bad guy and say that it is over. And then you stick to it because it doesn't sound like he is the type to go away easy. My guess is he is going to try to convince you, bargain, reason, beg, plead, for another chance or say "I have changed". If you take him back, you two are just going to end up fighting again within 3 weeks and that's just going to be time wasted.

It sounds like mentally and emotionally you have already moved on from the relationship. Don't stay in one for fear of hurting someone.

[jessicia]

No1 thank you a lot! I’m glad for your advice.. I hate it bc I feel like this was the best way to get the answers I need it sucks. I just wanted things to work and know how to go about everything in the best way but i guess there comes a end to everything we agree on so much like the things we want in life but I just don’t know anymore

[jessicia]

We talked about things and he took the time out to sit me down and talk to me about everything I can’t lie he did make me feel bad.. he says he doesn’t want to lose me and wants to try harder at improving what’s broken I’m our relationship.. should I give me a chance?