I think i want to reach out after 4 months

[bluecastle]

Fascinating conversation on here, as always. For some people cheating is the most unforgivable offense, for others it's human frailty, a terrible (if understandable) choice that people make when they fail to meet their highest expectations of themselves. And some people need an airtight story to move forward (action x = false love = over) while others need to turn the prism for a while to let all the contradictions settle. Me, I generally take a while to move on because I need to process my own feelings (guilt, loss, anger, whatever) and also get to a place where I let go of any anger and land on a note of appreciation, no matter what happened to trigger the unraveling.

 

Marlowe, you've got a special head and heart. It's clear to all of us on here, and why your posts garner such interesting discussions. You're going to make all the right choices here in seeking the clarity you need.

[Hollyj]

But she's human. She never replied, except now that she couldn't read a msg he sent,because he retracted it, her thoughts of what it said are taking over. Not giving her false hope, however people can and do change. Not instantly. Her goal by reading past posts is to be on good terms, be civil at some point. We don't always need to be bitter and hold resentment and treat people like they are wearing a scarlet letter. They both have past issues and those circumstances can lead to making stupid choices . But still, it's obvious she's strong and thinks clearly. She's gonna pull out of this and be fine.

 

I feel like we're arguing over her, lol. We have different points of view. I do understand what you're saying. I just don't feel in her situation it's so cut and dry.

 

How is it being bitter by not responding to someone who treated you poorly. It is called looking out for yourself and associating with people who value you. You can forgive people that does not mean that they have to be in your life.

 

I am not bitter with my ex, I am indifferent. I wish him well, but want nothing to do with him. He is my past, and I deserve better.