I can breath again

[MegB]

I broke my no contact after a month of not talking to him. This only includes me replying to him about child support. During this past month of trying to focus on my life and kids, I have deleted my social media accounts except my YouTube channel which he has subscribed to. I can’t unsubscribe him as his account is private. He has moved in with this chick and lied about staying with her so I can allow him to see them. I found out that his love of his life is his cousin of all people.

 

He shares a son with her. 🤯🤭. I admit that I was dumbfounded with this information but it made my decision to separate our toxic relationship even more clear. I won’t allow him to take part in raising them because he has detrimental issues that could harm my kids and I in the future. This is not jerry Springer here.

 

I have made a new friend that seems to be okay with the fact that I have kids as I am stable mentally and financially. In other words, we are not hurting for the basics. I still plan to relocate once I finish up with my degree.

 

Anyway, after I told him that his finances are his decision and that he did not need to consult me about such matters he tried to go off about me not allowing him to see our kids.

Need I remind you that he is between his cousin/ girlfriend and Mom’s house. His mom called the police on me because I would not talk to him and told the police my kids were in danger😪 the day After I found out he was cheating.

 

He still puts all the blame on me, and I’m okay with that now because some people need to lie to others to justify their actions. He said he didn’t want me. I took it as him saying he didn’t want our family. So if he has moved on then move on completely. I’m not so hell bent on keeping a cheating ass man child in my life.

 

He’s hurt, but with every action comes with pros and cons. I told him I support his decision on moving on and being with the love of his life. He clearly didn’t think it through what he would lose while playing his games, but I did. Sure I’ll be a single mother, but I have my priorities straight. I love me and my kids and the new start we are making. It upsets him that I’ve decided to move out of state and have eliminated his parental rights. However he won’t take it to court due to the information of his relationship being a family affair. He says its not fair to him, but I didn’t make the decision to walk away. He did.

 

I’m 32 and I feel that there is someone that will love us as the total package without hesitation. I’m able to be at ease these days with everyone that supports me in my decisions. I still have my down days but I’m too busy to keep it on my mind. I just want to let you know that the hurt you feel does get better over time if you allow it to. Some times God will force someone out your life that was harming it to begin with in order for you to receive your blessings.

[Bigboss29]

yeah that is kinda messed up but clearly this guy has issues I'm sure a restraining order will come into play

[charity]

I understand that you are hurt and it's early days but eventually the children are going to have to see their Dad.

 

You are punishing him through them and that is not the right thing for them.

 

Eventually time heals all wounds and the children will want to know about him. You can't cut him out completely. That is why when we have children with ur ex we go Low Contact instead of No Contact.

[Red88]

I understand that you are hurt and it's early days but eventually the children are going to have to see their Dad.

 

You are punishing him through them and that is not the right thing for them.

 

Eventually time heals all wounds and the children will want to know about him. You can't cut him out completely. That is why when we have children with ur ex we go Low Contact instead of No Contact.

 

I agree with this 100%.

As a father, I’d be getting a lawyer and you’d be seeing me in court, especially if you were trying to take kids out of state.

 

Red88

[figureitout23]

I agree with this 100%.

As a father, I’d be getting a lawyer and you’d be seeing me in court, especially if you were trying to take kids out of state.

 

Red88

 

Agree with the others you have no right to make the decision that he can't be a father because you're mad your relationship didn't work out. And like others said he can take you to court for parental alienation. It's wrong. Your relationship and your role as coparents are two completely seperate issues.

[MegB]

I’m ready whenever he is to go to court. I have plenty of audio of him saying he doesn’t want to be a father or to abort my boys. Men always think that women try to be malicious to the father of their kids but some people are not fit to be parents. Did I mention that his new family was made from incest??? Really who does that? How can that be explained to your kids or others? Would you trust your kids with a man that sleeps with his cousin? Apparently being family hold no boundaries to him or her. He has decided not to take me to court due to the evidence I have because he doesn’t want everyone in his business. So please do not assume that you know everything due to the demise of my marriage. It’s much more complicated that what you thought.

[MegB]

Another thing, his whole family is okay with him sleeping with his cousin. So I have cut them all off. This is a toxic situation and I need to have my emotions under control before seeing them again. Sometimes you don’t throw yourself into the lions den when you are not prepared for a fight. All I asked for was a year to recover from the major blow that has happened to us. I don’t talk about him to my kids and they do not bring him up. If he can’t understand the damage he has caused not only with me because t with them then he and those that don’t see what’s wrong with this got a few screws loose. They will see their dad but it will be under supervision. If he really wanted to see them then he could have when to court but then he would have to expose himself. So he has decided to back off and we meaning my kids and I are okay with that. People should really consider what they lose in the process of finding temporary happiness.

[figureitout23]

You chose him.

 

. The brutal truth is they come first, not you. You are absolutely right, your family has to recover from this blow, you have to learn to be a single parent, and to coparent and you're angry, understandably so but

 

You chose him

 

to father your children, that's 18 years, no matter what happens between you and him they are his blood, just as much as they are yours. Unless he is a danger to them, you have to work with him. Is screwing his cousin gross? Yes, is it hazardous to his children? No.

 

None of this is fair to you or your children none of it but standing in the way of their relationship will make [b[you[/b] the enemy not him, let them learn on their own what kind of man he is.

 

Again their relationship with him is completely seperate from yours. He left you not them.

[MegB]

I’m willing to be the enemy or The bad mother to keep my kids from thinking that their father cares more for his other kids than them. If the situation was different then I would yield but to incest could leave my kids psychologically damaged like their father. I say that is not harmless at all. I’m willing to go to court if he is. Kids are very impressionable and he’s not a good example of a man or person regardless if he is their father. I did chose him to be my partner in life does that make me guilty for having kids with him before knowing this crap? No. The fact is he walked away from his kids. The fact is he knew willing that he was being recorded and still said that he regretted having them. The fact is he was willing to abort my kids after trying to get me pregnant. The fact is that after giving him ample amount of space to see his kids he still opt to not see them. This is the reality of it. Yeah I’m a bad person for choosing him as a husband, the father of my kids, and for cheating on me. I have no right to do what I see best for my kids when he does not want them. People fight for their kids or the relationship they want. This has nothing to do with using my kids to hold over his head as many have put it. It’s bad enough that I am embarrassed by this mess but as a parent, there should be at least one person willing to shield them from b.s. like this regardless if it is their father. Somethings should not be witnessed or known to kids and this part of him is one. I can’t change history but I can damn sure make a better future for them with or without him. That’s for bringing back to reality.

[figureitout23]

You do you then Meg. Probably best to refrain from using your actions as a success story, though. The ramifications of both of your actions will affect them. His idiotic choices and your anger.