Should I bring the new girl to mutual friends party where ex will likely attend?

[Kev0s1983]

Have been broken up with ex for around 3.5 months, wasn't amicable, was down to my excessive drinking and have accepted that and come to terms with the end. In the time since, I have recognised it as NEEDING to end, was toxic as.

 

Have been total NC since, not friends on facebook although have numerous mutual friends. Stalked for a few weeks post breakup and recognised how bad it is (obviously) and pretty much stopped activity on social media.

 

Unsure if she is seeing someone, but categorically know she was single since breakup to three weeks ago - do not know about now.

 

I DO still have feelings, I think that way down the line I would like to think there would be a possibility of reconciliation. That would be a year + away and by then I probably wouldn't entertain the idea. Trying to give you a state of where I am.

 

Next saturday mutual friends have an engagement party, I am figuring out if I should bring a girl I have been on four dates along. I like her but know it wont be long term, has been helpful in making me see there are other girls around and have dated two other girls also.

 

I dont imagine it will be easy to talk to the ex, as stated, total NC since end of january from a girl I have known three and a half years and together for 18 months.

 

Should I bring the new girl along? Part of the reason for doing so is for myself to take another step forward and introduce to mutual friends, another is to allow word to get back to ex - if she doesnt attend or for ex to see (I realise this reason is poor but being honest in so much as I am not doing it for total honest reasons? This will partly make the new girl a pawn...), finally, I want a normal life and part of that is to attend events with someone who I am romantically involved with again. I feel that taking her is not for totally the right reasons, but equally NOT taking her is not for totally right reasons also...

 

Any thoughts are welcome and appreciated.

[Wiseman2]

Don't use people. Especially dragging this girl you're stringing along to a party in the vain hope to get your ex back. This scheme is going to blow up in your face. Go alone and be a decent guest.

I like her but know it wont be long term, has been helpful in making me see there are other girls around and have dated two other girls also. another is to allow word to get back to ex - if she doesnt attend or for ex to see

[Starlight925]

Don't use people. Especially dragging this girl you're stringing along to a party in the vain hope to get your ex back. This scheme is going to blow up in your face. Go alone and be a decent guest.

 

Oh my gosh, so plus 1 to the advice above.

 

First of all, bringing a girl you've been only on 4 dates to an engagement party isn't the right thing to do anyway, regardless of whether the ex will show up. And doing it, in hopes that word will get back to the ex, with whom you deep down, hope for a reconciliation? A big nuh-uh.

 

I had several dates with a guy recently who I really liked. He asked me to send him pics so he could save them in his phone. He later confessed to me that he thought I was "so pretty" and wanted to make sure his ex saw who he was with, and when I pressed him on it, he said he was trying to make her jealous. That was the last time we spoke.

[MissCanuck]

OP, don't do this to the new girl.

 

It's very unfair for you to bring her around your friends with the intentions you have. It's not right.

[Kev0s1983]

Thank you for the feedback - wont be bringing new girl.

[Starlight925]

Thank you for the feedback - wont be bringing new girl.

 

This is great, I'm so glad you realize this!

 

Go alone, have a great time with your friends, and meet up with your new girl after the party!

[Kev0s1983]

She is aware that I am newly single and wanting to see where it goes. Whilst I have stated I dont envisage it being long term, I am also aware things change.

 

Thanks LH, I was concerned about it and had thought on it a lot to the point where I couldnt work out what was the best thing to do - popular opinion leaves no doubt!

[RedDress]

Don't use people. Especially dragging this girl you're stringing along to a party in the vain hope to get your ex back. This scheme is going to blow up in your face. Go alone and be a decent guest.

 

Wiseman is indeed wise.

 

If I went on 4+ dates with a guy and he took me to an engagement party where I would meet his friends and ex, etc. I would most definitely think that the relationship was way more serious than you are indicating your intentions are.

 

By doing this, you will (unintentionally?) try to alleviate your hurt by hurting someone else.

 

Don’t do it. It’s always better to take the high road, even when the high road sucks.