neno Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 Where do I start, I have no idea. I'm a lady, in my twenty twos trying to figure out how to deal with my chaotic life. Mon-Fri : 9-5p.m, I am an admin/accountant. The time outside of this, I am always a mother to my 2.5 y.o baby... and a partner to Jack who, I met June 2016 after a break up with my bub's daddy; Dee. Except that Dee and I never stopped working towards a house project that had already started before. This house is now due to finish building in 10 weeks and I have no idea how to tell Jack that this never stopped. I never wanted the house project to stop, having a son and living at my moms; jack's or dee's all the time. I needed somewhere to be able to go back to every time I finished working. I have never been invested in this relationship with Jack's because of this, but I am in love with him and I have never been in love with Dee. I am beyond conflicted and it is affecting my life and my son. As he is always going back and forth places. Dee is a very good father to our son, always have worked so hard to get us somewhere; he believes strongly that we will rebuild a family and a strong one. Whenever I am around him, I feel calm and quiet and I feel like I am being myself. He knows all about Jack's I tell him when i'm there and he has forgiven me for all of this and has been wanting me back for over months now. Jack is a very good father to my son too, he gives me the little attentions I've always wanted to get from a man.. He does not have much to offer emotionally and ever since he has come to my life he has made me miserable many times.. And has then blamed it onto the fact that I once cheated on him with ex D (which he is now aware was a lie to hurt his feelings very badly after he targeted my feelings talking about another girl in his life which he was also lying about). He wants us to be stable, but I really can't do it as I'm so conflicted. Life is so routine like with him I just don't know .... Sometimes I feel I should just go back and live my best life with Dee and bubba, but sometimes I feel I need this Jack on my side, he completes me and makes me so happy at times not always.... **P.S THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO THIS THAT I CAN ADD IF ANYBODY WANTS ME TO. FEEL FREE TO JUDGE ME, BECAUSE I DID AND I AM DOING WRONG. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 Unless and until you are happy with yourself, you won't be happy with either of these men. You're seeking from them what you lack inside yourself. Work on you. Let these men find women who value commitment, honesty and integrity. Be a better role model for your little one by behaving like a respectful adult who doesn't treat people the way you've been treating your ex and current partner. Link to comment
DanZee Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 It does sound like maybe you need to ditch Jack, since he makes you miserable, and maybe work on yourself while taking care of your child. You've got a lot going on and you need to sort it all out. With a new you, you can then work on finding a new guy and not settling for any Jack that comes along. Link to comment
neno Posted April 18, 2018 Author Share Posted April 18, 2018 I’ve done this so many times @MissCanuck .. I stayed at my moms for a while, and everything was going just fine until I had my license I started being able to move around on my own and would always end up at Jacks... I don’t know if I can just completely opt out of everything, because of the house? Does that makes sense... Link to comment
neno Posted April 18, 2018 Author Share Posted April 18, 2018 ...I always feel the urge to leave, that’s why our relationship is always on the edge and so fragile, I feel the urge to completely leave I’ve been seeing a psychologist since April last year, I also suffer from seperation anxiety!!! Which makes it hard for me to leave either of them.. how do you break up with somebody that you keep thinking being with other people and it makes you sick in the stomach? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 It's unclear why you bother having an affair with someone who "makes you miserable". I never wanted the house project to stop, having a son and living at my moms; jack's or dee's all the time. Dee is a very good father to our son Jack is a very good father to my son too and ever since he has come to my life he has made me miserable many times. Link to comment
Minikimini Posted April 19, 2018 Share Posted April 19, 2018 Break up with Jack and go back to Dee. It seems that you're much happier and calmer with him and you've got this house you're building with him. No other human completes another. You come whole to a relationship, or don't do relationships if you're that fragmented. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted April 20, 2018 Share Posted April 20, 2018 Wow. Stop it. Confess to Jack the truth that you have been lying this whole time - that you are building a house with Dee and are still seeing him. That you didn't just cheat once -- you are having a relationship with both. I would break up with Dee, too, because you don't respect him. You want "little attentions" from different man. Its shameful that you allowed jack "to be a father" to you child - how confusing for your child! Link to comment
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