Broke NC by drunk text, feel terrible.

[HollyHanes1]

So basically my ex and I have been broken up for 4 months, he broke up with me because he felt something was missing, loss of spark etc. He has never initiated contact with me except three weeks after break up on a night out he asked to talk (just to clear up some rumors). I know he still cares about me but he still acts like I don’t exist. He hasn’t been with anyone since the break up bar a few random kisses on nights out. We were best friends for years (together for a year) and I mostly miss his friendship as he’s the only one who can calm me down. We have had barely any contact over the last few months, only once intimated by him, twice by me. Last time we spoke was 2 months ago. But last night I got incredibly drunk and messaged him in Facebook (even though I deleted him as a friend) as my mother has been very sick the last 4 months and I was upset. I didn’t profess any undying love or anything but I did say I wanted to talk and asked him why he never talks to me any more - pathetic, I know. In his responses he was very concerned and even called one of my friends to come find me (he wasn’t out). Although he did ignore a couple messages, he checked back in an hour later to check if I was alright. I just feel so pathetic now, because I was doing so well. I don’t want him back necessarily, I guess I just would like to know that he misses me too or for him to at least exhibit some depth of feeling. I feel like all chances of that are lost now and he just sees me as some desperate idiot. Has this happened to anyone and their ex still returned for reconciliation/friendship ? Any advice or consoling words would be appreciated, thank you!

[Liraele]

You loved him, you missed your friend. It happens. Shrug it off and go back to no contact and give yourself a chance to heal. No reason to beat yourself up for being weak in a vulnerable moment.

[katrina1980]

What do you mean he was the only one who could "calm you down"?

 

Can you clarify?

 

If your tendency is to over-react and cause drama, this could have been a factor in why "the spark" died for him. It gets old.

 

Given what you said about needing him to calm you down (and comfort you) in times of duress (I'm sorry about your mom ), Im sure your text came as no big surprise to him.

 

My advice is to control drinking and start NC again.

 

Try to not have regrets, its all a learning experience, and opportunity for growth.

 

Best of luck moving forward!

[bluecastle]

Be kind to yourself. You're a human being and all you did is behave like one. You two shared a lot, now there's a void, and sometimes (especially when booze is involved) we slip up in trying to temporarily close that void. It's okay, means nothing in the grand scheme of things. Four months out means everything is still fresh, still settling. As your emotions temper down I'm sure you both will have a chance for constructive contact, and if a genuine friendship is in the cards the universe will lead you to it.

[HollyHanes1]

Hi I didn’t mean calm me down as in rage or anything, our relationship was great we never argued. I just meant if I was worried or something he always settled me! Thank you for your response I really appreciate it! :)

[Hollyj]

It takes time, after you lose the one person you turn to for comfort and support.

 

I think it would help, if you blocked and deleted his number. Time to let go.

[SweetGirl28]

Aww :( I'm sorry((((hugs))))

 

It's okay. You are feeling vulnerable, alcohol is a depressant, and don't feel bad. You're not pathetic, nor do you look desperate. You were friends first prior to dating. And he showed concern. Be kind to yourself, it happens. I hope your mom gets better.