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Messed up - chances and plans


fervader03
She's Not Texting Me Like She U...
She's Not Texting Me Like She Used To

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Hi,

 

I was suddenly hit by my girlfriend of 7 months that she no longer has feelings for me and has to work on herself. She says she's jumped from relationship to relationship and is having trouble with her classes. Also she sees me more a friend than a boyfriend. I panicked at first and the first 3 days I looked for her and texted her. The 4th day I decided to break up with her (as we were on a break.) the 5th day I realized I needed clarification and closure, so we met up and we talked about everything. It ended with me in tears and her leaving. However, since this is so recent and I read the post "Perfect Plan" and "Perfect Plan - Mach II" I was hoping there is a slight possibility it can still bed fixed. I sent her a text saying that I felt relieved with the situation and can now move on from what happened all the while still remaining friends and she can contact me whenever she feels like it. However, I plan on sticking to the NC rule. My thing is, what are my possible chances after I messed up the first few days.

 

EDIT** When I see stick to the NC rule, as in don't reply instantly or not initiating contact. Any advice or comments are welcome.

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Sorry to hear this. She was honest and told you how she felt. No contact means leave her alone totally. No messaging, no social media stalking, no indirect friends of friends stuff. Totally moving on. It's intended for you to feel better, not to get someone back.

she no longer has feelings for me and has to work on herself. She says she's jumped from relationship to relationship and is having trouble with her classes. Also she sees me more a friend than a boyfriend.
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Probably not with her. If she jumps from relationship to relationship and starts seeing her partners as "friends" rather than as partners after some time, it's likely that she doesn't understand how longer term relationships work and doesn't know how to internally maintain them. What happens in just a few days doesn't mean much, though. It's about what she experiences in the next several months (or even several years. Some people form a pattern out of this stuff and learn their lesson much later on).

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The issue is this girl say she did love me, she just didn't know when the feelings started to disappear. At one point she said she would marry me and have a family and future with me.

 

But that is evidently no longer the case. Unfortunately, these break-up threads are chock-full of people with the same story of exes who promised them the world and deep love, only for it to come crashing down; this information about her past feelings doesn't change your current situation.

 

People's feelings do change, and sometimes people also get caught up in the honeymoon phase before they realize it's not a great match for them. This was just 7 months, which means she was likely riding high on the hormones when she made these big proclamations. I think she liked you, but got carried away and made grand statements without actually knowing how she truly felt about you.

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