Just a public service announcement to the heartbroken out there concerning "ex back programs"

[Stacks44]

I've been going through a breakup myself since November of 2017. She was "the one" and I miss her terribly, am currently on day 82 of no contact, yada yada yada. One of the first things we all do is look for advice to win them back. In our most desperate and weakest moments in life there is never a shortage of con men selling snake oil panaceas. The worse we feel, the lower our inhibitions, and quicker we are to hand over money and buy into terrible logic. We embrace any "information" that meets our pre-existing biases and desires.

 

I, like many of you, have scoured the internet and YouTube, looking for articles and videos that will help me win them back. While wallowing in my misery I took comfort in the words of people promising my ex would be back in my arms in 30 days if I just ignored her and wrote her a handwritten letter or sent a magical text message. It seems so simple and intuitive. It seems guaranteed to work. It's garbage. It's designed to make you wait 30 days, getting your hopes up all the time, only to be crushed and back to day one all over again. Where did you go wrong? You followed the advice! Maybe it's time to fork over that $50 for an e-book or $200 for a Skype coaching session. Better yet, let's get the deluxe package that offers all of the above plus a brief email exchange for only $300! And who bestows the title of "Relationship Expert" or "Dating Coach" anyway? Is it earned through years of intense study, or does one have to be born with a gift?

 

The best advice is plastered all over this website and over the internet if you're willing to read and accept it. I, like you, resisted it for as long as I could. When we finally start to think clearly we know what we must do. We must move on. We must heal. We must let them go. We must learn from our mistakes and try to become the best versions of ourselves that we can be. Long before they broke up with us, we broke up with ourselves. On Day 5 of no contact, I would write this off as defeatist nonsense. On Day 82, I know it's the only way forward.

 

There are thousands of amazing posts and topics here. They're written by people of immense intellect, experience, and wisdom. They've helped me more than I could have asked for, and best of all they're free. I wish you the best of luck on your journey to get your ex back, and to get yourself back.

[Carus]

Thanks for your post.

 

Did you actually buy and go through any of those programs?

 

What I've found is it's actually quite difficult to find any real stories from people who have tried them... Perhaps this thread could become a true account from people who have tried them and had good or bad results.

 

My thread in the Healing section is a testament to all the 'mistakes' I made... I didn't make that many and still didn't get her back.

 

I did get some 'coaching' but never did the GYEB programs....

 

Anxiety makes us desperate that's for sure.

 

💔

[Stacks44]

No, I didn't buy any of them, but I've watched a ton of videos and read a ton of articles and websites. There was one channel where the YouTuber talks about the programs she tried and why they were awful, and how she described them as a "novelty" at best. I'm a bit hesitant to list the names of the people I thought had sound advice and which were scams just to avoid any kind of liability I or this forum could incur.

 

 

Edit: BTW you're so spot on with the anxiety. The moment we start to get a hold on anxiety is the moment we truly begin to heal.

[cristal]

Excellent post!

 

And you're right, by letting them go and by doing No Contact is the only way to heal. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

 

Best of luck!

[Stacks44]

Excellent post!

 

And you're right, by letting them go and by doing No Contact is the only way to heal. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

 

Best of luck!

 

Thank you! I wish you the best of luck as well in your journey :)

[Carus]

I'm a bit hesitant to list the names of the people I thought had sound advice and which were scams just to avoid any kind of liability I or this forum could incur.

Yes I would agree with that....

 

But hopefully some people might post saying "I tried XYZ program..." and say more about how it went....the pitfalls etc....

 

I guess anyone who actually had success with any of the GYEB programs probably wouldn't be logging in here... :-/

 

Again, good topic for discussion...and hopefully might save people some money....

 

Carus*

[Carus]

There was one channel where the YouTuber talks about the programs she tried and why they were awful, and how she described them as a "novelty" at best.

I wanted to PM you to find out which channel that is coz I would like to watch it...But I can't seem to...

 

If you can't PM me I'm sure posting the link here would be ok...

 

Carus*

[Stacks44]

Yes I would agree with that....

 

But hopefully some people might post saying "I tried XYZ program..." and say more about how it went....the pitfalls etc....

 

I guess anyone who actually had success with any of the GYEB programs probably wouldn't be logging in here... :-/

 

Again, good topic for discussion...and hopefully might save people some money....

 

Carus*

 

I have gotten 2 exes back in the past. Both of them were with no contact (with both of them I begged and pleaded initially.) Both of them called me back within a month to reconcile. Both of them ended shortly afterwards for the same reasons they ended originally.

 

I was 21 and 24 at the time. One was 31 and one was 29. I'm currently 31, and I wish I could say I didn't repeat the same mistakes with my freshest ex. It's only now that I'm reflecting back on my ways over the last decade. I'm far from an optimist but I'm trying to make the best of the mess I've made.

[Stacks44]

Carus https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZD1eCbaB_tP7WZBXp2_BHw

 

She's intelligent and brutally honest

[boltnrun]

If those "programs" worked no one would ever stay broken up.

 

Like any other business, it's designed to make money. And they don't care that they're making money off the backs of heartbroken people. They figure, heartbroken peoples' money is as green as other peoples' money, so why not cash in?

 

They do not have a "sincere desire to help", they have a sincere desire to get money for themselves. And it's pretty astute that you caught on that there's no way to know how or by whom the title "Relationship Expert" or "Dating Coach" was bestowed. Most likely it was bestowed upon themselves.

 

There are those who swear by Corey Wayne or other so-called "coaches". But most of them are either still broken up with the person they wanted back or they're still single and searching. Just like anyone who didn't pay money for those services.

[sputnik123]

Excellent post Stacks

[Stacks44]

If those "programs" worked no one would ever stay broken up.

 

Like any other business, it's designed to make money. And they don't care that they're making money off the backs of heartbroken people. They figure, heartbroken peoples' money is as green as other peoples' money, so why not cash in?

 

They do not have a "sincere desire to help", they have a sincere desire to get money for themselves. And it's pretty astute that you caught on that there's no way to know how or by whom the title "Relationship Expert" or "Dating Coach" was bestowed. Most likely it was bestowed upon themselves.

 

There are those who swear by Corey Wayne or other so-called "coaches". But most of them are either still broken up with the person they wanted back or they're still single and searching. Just like anyone who didn't pay money for those services.

 

Agreed. Corey Wayne is actually one of the ones I feel has the best core message though. Walk away, better yourself, and if they come back great, if not, that's ok too. My issue with him is he tends to be very misogynistic. His end point seems to be sex, not a relationship. He mentions sex a lot more often than feelings. The guys I have a major problem with are the ones that make guarantees concerning reconciliation and go against the advice of people on here like SuperDave71 and Zorba.

[Stacks44]

Excellent post Stacks

 

Ty, I just hate seeing these people taking advantage of the downtrodden. If I can save one person one dollar, and keep it out of the "expert's" pockets I'm happy.

[Carus]

The lack of responses in this thread doesn't say a lot for the GYEB Programs out there....!

 

Hasn't ANYONE tried them and/or had any success with them....?

 

C*

[Wiseman2]

Good post. You wouldn't believe how many people have fallen for those charlatans.

While wallowing in my misery I took comfort in the words of people promising my ex would be back in my arms in 30 days if I just ignored her and wrote her a handwritten letter or sent a magical text message.

[boltnrun]

The lack of responses in this thread doesn't say a lot for the GYEB Programs out there....!

 

Hasn't ANYONE tried them and/or had any success with them....?

 

C*

 

Here's what they say:

No contact for 30 days. On the 31st day, send her a text or a letter (for only $99 extra, see some of our sample letters guaranteed to succeed!!!111"). Gradually build up contact. Invite her to an event. Bingo! You have your ex back!!!

 

What they don't say is what to do if she ignores your text or letter, or if she only minimally responds, or if she says "no" to your event invitation, or if she's dating someone else. But for only $300, you can purchase their "deluxe" plan which gives even more details guaranteed to work!

 

Oh, and those "testimonials" from their hundreds of satisfied customers? All fake.

 

There, saved you $400.

[Stacks44]

Here's what they say:

No contact for 30 days. On the 31st day, send her a text or a letter (for only $99 extra, see some of our sample letters guaranteed to succeed!!!111"). Gradually build up contact. Invite her to an event. Bingo! You have your ex back!!!

 

What they don't say is what to do if she ignores your text or letter, or if she only minimally responds, or if she says "no" to your event invitation, or if she's dating someone else. But for only $300, you can purchase their "deluxe" plan which gives even more details guaranteed to work!

 

Oh, and those "testimonials" from their hundreds of satisfied customers? All fake.

 

There, saved you $400.

 

 

Bingo. You forgot the Skype coaching session though. The last time I begged an ex back she took one look at me, realized I didn't get any Skype coaching, and laughed me out of the room.

[MissCanuck]

Bingo. You forgot the Skype coaching session though. The last time I begged an ex back she took one look at me, realized I didn't get any Skype coaching, and laughed me out of the room.

 

Point well made, stacks!

 

That was a good chuckle, my friend.

[boltnrun]

Bingo. You forgot the Skype coaching session though. The last time I begged an ex back she took one look at me, realized I didn't get any Skype coaching, and laughed me out of the room.

 

Or maybe it hadn't been exactly 31 days? Big mistake! You KNOW that all those "dumpers" know for a FACT that you absolutely MUST send them a text or letter on the 31st day. They have it marked on their calendars..."Letter from EX day!!!"

[Stacks44]

Or maybe it hadn't been exactly 31 days? Big mistake! You KNOW that all those "dumpers" know for a FACT that you absolutely MUST send them a text or letter on the 31st day. They have it marked on their calendars..."Letter from EX day!!!"

 

Hmm my ex sent me an innocent message asking me the name of a restaurant we went to during happy times, before I decided I didn't want to be with him. I doubt he has any ulterior motive, and I find myself overwhelmed with emotion. This changes everything. I'll respond with the name of the restaurant and a marriage proposal.

[Giblesp]

After a break up, I followed Corey Waynes advice that I got from his videos and free book. A few months later the woman who did the dumping expressed a new interest in me. I wasn't interested.

 

Because self work and time will usually lead you to the conclusion that if they were for you, they wouldn't have broke up with you in the first place. Get back with an ex, there's a high chance that you will simply break up again.

 

So Corey Wayne's advice did work for me, and I didn't pay a penny for it. However, when I can I'll be giving a donation for the simple reason that I got practical results.

[Giblesp]

Agreed. Corey Wayne is actually one of the ones I feel has the best core message though. Walk away, better yourself, and if they come back great, if not, that's ok too. My issue with him is he tends to be very misogynistic. His end point seems to be sex, not a relationship. He mentions sex a lot more often than feelings. The guys I have a major problem with are the ones that make guarantees concerning reconciliation and go against the advice of people on here like SuperDave71 and Zorba.

 

True, he does talk about sex alot.

 

However, in his book he does look at feelings.

 

The men who discover his work, are usually going through emotional difficulties. Its sometimes good to be reminded of the fact that life can be fulfilling when your single and playing the field. Makes you more relaxed ina relationship, knowing that you have your own life to fall back on, should it all go wrong.

[Stacks44]

Giblesp I'm glad you got what you needed from him. I'm glad you got over your ex. Don't donate to him, he's very wealthy and loves to show that off. In face, he makes money just from you watching his videos on Youtube.....and his coaching sessions are 1000USD per hour. Instead, donate to a charity or cause that's dear to you.