Normal Progression With Online

[FirstDates]

Hey, so I'm using EH at the moment, and what I am hoping for is a general timeline and recommendations of how to do those things. How long to spend chatting in the site, when and how best to switch to a phone number, when to actually meet the person. I'm 29 F and the guys I'm taking with at the moment are 25-29 age range. Both of the guys who I'm most interested in are about 1 hour+ away and it is very wintery where I live right now. I'm a Christian and so understanding a person's value system is really important to me. Let me know if I am missing any information about that would help.

[Jibralta]

I would suggest meeting in person as quickly as possible, and eliminate the matches that aren't willing to do that. It doesn't have to be a major date or anything; you can just meet for coffee. But a fast meet eliminates a build up to disappointment, it eliminates some flakes, and it eliminates catfish. After you meet and see if you like each other, you can still progress slowly as you get to know each other.

[j.man]

I'm a Christian and so understanding a person's value system is really important to me.

I'd venture to guess it's important for most people, Christian or otherwise, to understand the value systems of potential partners. Even I, a godless heathen inherently lacking any semblance of a value system, care a little bit about that kind of thing.

 

But to echo Jibralta, meeting as soon as possible is the best approach, and, honestly, if they're too far away and/or the season isn't permitting, I'd simply hold off on any real attempt to "getting to know them" until the conditions better permit you two to meet up.

 

If you've got hard deal breakers in terms of values that you need out of the way prior to meeting them or when first doing so, I feel those are best displayed on your profile so that it's comfortably volunteered on your end rather than investing your initial interactions into awkward character or moral assessments. Additionally, there's no hard or even soft guarantee someone you get on well with over text or phone call will at all be a match once you meet, and you're more likely to develop a false sense of investment trying to establish familiarity in such a way.

[FirstDates]

Jman, I was not meaning to offend or to imply that other people do not have a value system. Of course they do! That would be ridiculous! All that I meant is that some times with a more clear cut value system more questions might be front loaded. And as result fewer people meet the criteria for a fave to face meeting.

 

I do like your point about waiting for a good season. I live in a stupid area that has spring like weather one week (dry roads) and several feet of snow or shear ice the next. It has only been in the last few weeks that I'm not planning to drive more than I need too. Wondering if chatting for 2-3 weeks instead of 1 week will be seen as disinterest.

[Batya33]

My normal progression (met over 100 men in person) was to exchange one or two emails for the purpose of getting a phone number. Then I called (I preferred not to give my number back then -I had a land line and work phone) - and I used my screening out skills and decided within 20-30 minutes whether this was a person I could have a pleasant conversation with in person for about 45 minutes to an hour. At the end of the call if he didn't suggest a meet I did (but I did let him ask me out on a date after we met -I didn't ask him, just suggested to meet in person). If he insisted on typing back and forth before speaking or on having multiple conversations before arranging to meet in person I moved on. I was looking to date to find a husband, not to acquire an on line buddy/penpal (I already had plenty of friends including on line friends). I tried to avoid meeting people who lived further than about a half hour or so away.

[Zippy2000]

My normal progression is to filter out the time wasters and find out the people who want to commit to something. I tend to email for up to a week. if I feel the conversation is going somewhere. I give them my phone number.

 

A lot of people give up after a few days and some people don't bother moving on to the next progression by text or phone so I roughly know they don't want to continue things.

 

If they girl texts me. I ll text back for a couple more days and I ll let them know I ll ring them.

 

Its best to meet up as soon as you can but I think for me to be safe. I d like to give it up to a week and a few more days by text/phone call to agree a date. A lot of people wont do this so I cut them loose. I just don't want to waste my time talking and talking and endless chats for them to disappear.

[Sportster2005]

Generally I've found most women want to meet soon. Two or three emails and I ask them out. I ask for their number in case I have to cancel, or they have to cancel. It should state clearly in your profile that you're Christian, and what your expectations are.

 

If they live an hour away, they might be more hesitant. I've gone on dates very rarely with women that are more than 30 minutes away.

 

Timeliness and process can very widely depending on many factors, including but not limited to; age, upbringing, experience, culture and past experience.

[IAmFCA]

Generally I've found most women want to meet soon. Two or three emails and I ask them out. I ask for their number in case I have to cancel, or they have to cancel. It should state clearly in your profile that you're Christian, and what your expectations are.

 

If they live an hour away, they might be more hesitant. I've gone on dates very rarely with women that are more than 30 minutes away.

 

Timeliness and process can very widely depending on many factors, including but not limited to; age, upbringing, experience, culture and past experience.

 

Exactly my ezperience, as a woman.

[Zippy2000]

The longest Ive spoken to someone is for one month but I was lucky as she turned out to my girlfriend for a year.

 

The shortest Ive actually spoken to someone was 1 day and met up but I do prefer meeting up around a week because you can roughly guage who the person is like by their communication.

 

Its the safety aspect of things because it could be Ted Bundy or Peter Sutcliffe at the other end.

[Batya33]

The longest Ive spoken to someone is for one month but I was lucky as she turned out to my girlfriend for a year.

 

The shortest Ive actually spoken to someone was 1 day and met up but I do prefer meeting up around a week because you can roughly guage who the person is like by their communication.

 

 

Its the safety aspect of things because it could be Ted Bundy or Peter Sutcliffe at the other end.

I think talking for 20 to 30 minutes by phone plus meeting in a public place takes care of the safety issues especially if you’re good at screening out and noticing red flags. I think typing messages for a long period of time gives a false sense of security and can be more of a safety risk.