I don’t think I’ll ever be the same...plz help

[hawk2347]

Hi cqc I also felt thisecyesrs were wasted then I remember the good times. Please don’t think there are wasted years concentrate on you right now. Most of us here are in the same situation time is your enemy but unfortunately that’s also a big part of healing.

[MissCanuck]

You didn't waste 7.5 years, OP.

 

You gained a lot of experience and learned a lot of important lessons along the way. The same is true of this break-up. Viewing it all as a waste is self-defeating. It also sounds to me like he isn't throwing it away - he's thought about this and doing what he feels is right for him. Sometimes the truth does indeed hurt, but it's better that he's being honest that he doesn't feel the same way anymore than stay when his heart isn't in it.

[Cqc]

Thank you all so much for your words. I really do appreciate it. It’s hard to move forward but knowing I’m not alone and I have people to talk to is very helpful. Thank you again

[Cqc]

I want to go over there and get my things. I have five years worth of things there but I just feel like it will be so hard and I’ll be even more upset than I am now. This problem sounds stupid but I feel like the longer my things are there the more my ex will think about me and how much he misses me. I could just be too hopeful but I miss him so much. I want him to miss me as much as I miss him.

[MissCanuck]

Leaving your things there isn't going to make him miss you, OP. That's not to say he doesn't miss you, but it's got nothing to do with your belongings being around his place.

 

Go and get your things as soon as you can, without him there if possible. I've been where you are, twice. Both times I had to sort through years' worth of things, decide which of us was keeping what (in terms of jointly-purchased items) It's not fun, but it's very liberating.

[Cqc]

I went over there today. Mainly to see my cats and it hurts just as much. I want to move my things out but I don’t even know where to start. I feel like removing everything really means it’s over and I want more than anything is for us to figure our stuff out and get back together. Even just thinking about it makes me depressed.

 

I don’t think I can do it. I think I’m a little to hopeful cause I feel like things will work themselves out. But at the same time I think what if they don’t. I know people go thru this all the time and thru worse breakups than mine but it doesn’t do anything to help the hurt I’m feeling right now.

 

It’s been almost a week since we’ve talked. I have no idea what he is thinking. If he misses me or what. I try to keep busy but the distraction only last for so long and then I’m back to feeling completely broken and depressed again.

 

I just don’t think this will ever end and if we never get back together I will always be thinking of him and never be able to move on. I’m just grasping on to any hope that he will want me back. I just honestly don’t know how to move on from this. I sound so pathetic:(

[Wiseman2]

Did he give you a time frame about moving your things out? Have you spoken to him about taking the cats with you? Do you have friends and family helping you? Without changing the issues such as working full time and becoming more independent, it's doubtful he will reconcile. These would be excellent areas to focus on for your own sake. Please ask your mother to help you find a therapist/physician to help you with your depression/feelings.

I went over there today. Mainly to see my cats. I want to move my things out

[Cqc]

Wiseman, no there was no time frame for moving my things out. I’m just trying to take it day by day. I know I need a full time job and I’m taking this time to do so and work on myself. I hope these things will show my ex that I am better. I know he has things he needs to work on too. We both do, which is why I’m not giving up on us just yet. I am working on finding a therapist which I think is another positive step for me. It’s just really hard to go thru this because I just miss everything.