Heart broken and lost

[poshcut]

This guy that I have loved for over 7 years. And he married someone else while I was engaged ( no longer together) we stayed close friends. He told me last week he was getting divorce and I tried not to get excited thinking I have a chance now. Well he told me today he met someone while he was married and he doesn't want me in his life anymore even as a friend. I feel bad because I wasn't good enough.

[Knight2001]

hi.

it's not that you weren/t good enough. you weren't suitable for him. there will be someone out there you will be suitable for. give up on your feelings for this man and wait until you are healed then move on. don't wait around for him or you might end up with a very lonely miserable life.

good luck.

[poshcut]

I feel like a really bad person. I feel stupid.

[Annia]

Were you engaged to him or another person? I didn't understand.

[poshcut]

Were you engaged to him or another person? I didn't understand.

Another person. I ended the engament when I found out he was cheating on me.

[IAmFCA]

You had no way of knowing that he found someone else until he told you, so nothing to feel bad about or stupid about.

 

I am sorry that it didn’t work out for you with him, but to be honest, you dodged a bullet. Let your romantic fantasy go - he was never the man you imagined anyway. He cheated in his relationship, and can’t stand being single. If he strung you along as an option, that is because he is deeply afraid of being alone - that is the same reason he cheated and is likely to cheat again.

 

Walk away from him, he is chaos. This is a good change, even though it hurts right now. Use this as a chance to focus on how to make your life more the way you want it. You can do it.

[Everlong13]

I'm confused. You were engaged to someone else and you were with him?

[DaisyMayPorter]

This sounds very sad. Why doesn’t he want to be your friend? Did something happen there or is he just being a jerk? By the way, you know he cheated on his wife, right? You don’t want to be that woman.

[poshcut]

This sounds very sad. Why doesn’t he want to be your friend? Did something happen there or is he just being a jerk? By the way, you know he cheated on his wife, right? You don’t want to be that woman.

He said that he feels he is closer to the new chick and doesn't want to do the wrong thing.

[poshcut]

You had no way of knowing that he found someone else until he told you, so nothing to feel bad about or stupid about.

 

I am sorry that it didn’t work out for you with him, but to be honest, you dodged a bullet. Let your romantic fantasy go - he was never the man you imagined anyway. He cheated in his relationship, and can’t stand being single. If he strung you along as an option, that is because he is deeply afraid of being alone - that is the same reason he cheated and is likely to cheat again.

 

Walk away from him, he is chaos. This is a good change, even though it hurts right now. Use this as a chance to focus on how to make your life more the way you want it. You can do it.

Thank you soo much for helping me. I keep telling myself it's not worth being upset but my heart isn't ready to listen.

[DaisyMayPorter]

He said that he feels he is closer to the new chick and doesn't want to do the wrong thing.

 

Do the wrong thing? By being your friend? Is that wrong?

[poshcut]

Do the wrong thing? By being your friend? Is that wrong?

I guess he feels soo in love that he wants to her to be his only girl in his life.

[DaisyMayPorter]

I guess he feels soo in love that he wants to her to be his only girl in his life.

 

What?! That is the saddest thing. If you guys are truly friends, you should stay friends. No wonder you feel so sad.

Please do me a favor and when he breaks up with this new woman and wants to be your friend again, please don't let him. He does not deserve even your friendship.

What a jerk.

[Wiseman2]

Try not to take it personally. It sounds like the wife or new mistress/gf found your messages and considering his history of cheating, told him to put and end to the messaging. You dodged a bullet. He's done the work of no contact for you. Now you can block and delete and move forward to a decent man.

he told me today he met someone while he was married and he doesn't want me in his life anymore even as a friend.

[Annia]

Do the wrong thing? By being your friend? Is that wrong?

 

I think that it's not the right thing to be friends with a former lover (especially it's a recent break up) while one is in a relationship and in love with another person. On that aspect he did right and it's better than continuing to string the OP along while he's with another woman.

 

However from what I can understand here he's a cheater, so that's his wrong thing.

[Lambert]

i had a platonic male friend from college. we were very close always, except for a few times throughout the years. like all friends we ebbed and flowed when life was happening. But on the whole, always friends and there for each other.

 

One day i noticed he was not on fb anymore. so i asked him. he said, "I've been dating a woman and she doesn't want me to have any female friends".

 

i wished him the very best and if ever needed me, he could reach out and i let him go.

 

it hurt my feelings but i chose to rise above it and see it from his side. he was a man that wanted to be loved. is what she demanded normal or healthy? no. but his choice.

 

it wasn't a romantic disappointment but hurt.

 

don't be embarrassed. I've had little crushes on guy friends and thought what if, when they became available.

 

but it sounds like you and he had a shot and it didn't last. could you be remembering it better than it actually was? Is this just highlighting a need you have for love and romance?

 

dont waste too much time on this. its a distraction from what your life can be.

[Lambert]

i had a platonic male friend from college. we were very close always, except for a few times throughout the years. like all friends we ebbed and flowed when life was happening. But on the whole, always friends and there for each other.

 

One day i noticed he was not on fb anymore. so i asked him. he said, "I've been dating a woman and she doesn't want me to have any female friends".

 

i wished him the very best and if ever needed me, he could reach out and i let him go.

 

it hurt my feelings but i chose to rise above it and see it from his side. he was a man that wanted to be loved. is what she demanded normal or healthy? no. but his choice.

 

it wasn't a romantic disappointment but hurt.

 

don't be embarrassed. I've had little crushes on guy friends and thought what if, when they became available.

 

but it sounds like you and he had a shot and it didn't last. could you be remembering it better than it actually was? Is this just highlighting a need you have for love and romance?

 

dont waste too much time on this. its a distraction from what your life can be.

i also had other bad timing relationships aka all my relationships lol! ... never free at the same time. it does hurt especially if you are not seeing anyone. I'm sorry.

[poshcut]

i had a platonic male friend from college. we were very close always, except for a few times throughout the years. like all friends we ebbed and flowed when life was happening. But on the whole, always friends and there for each other.

 

One day i noticed he was not on fb anymore. so i asked him. he said, "I've been dating a woman and she doesn't want me to have any female friends".

 

i wished him the very best and if ever needed me, he could reach out and i let him go.

 

it hurt my feelings but i chose to rise above it and see it from his side. he was a man that wanted to be loved. is what she demanded normal or healthy? no. but his choice.

 

it wasn't a romantic disappointment but hurt.

 

don't be embarrassed. I've had little crushes on guy friends and thought what if, when they became available.

 

but it sounds like you and he had a shot and it didn't last. could you be remembering it better than it actually was? Is this just highlighting a need you have for love and romance?

 

dont waste too much time on this. its a distraction from what your life can be.

I think that maybe I made him out to what I have been waiting for when he isn't worth all the b.s.. my heart hurts but I can't change his feelings. It hurts the most he was my best friend and it's like he is living 2 different lives. And if he cheated on his wife with this new girl then he would have cheated on me down the road I'm sure

[lostbutinlove]

This guy that I have loved for over 7 years. And he married someone else while I was engaged ( no longer together) we stayed close friends. He told me last week he was getting divorce and I tried not to get excited thinking I have a chance now. Well he told me today he met someone while he was married and he doesn't want me in his life anymore even as a friend. I feel bad because I wasn't good enough.

 

I know what that feels like. Perhaps it wasnt that you werent good enough, but the timing for you guys to fall in love did not work out..

 

I hope the best and i believe its irrational to think that you were not good enough,

 

Just my two cents

[DaisyMayPorter]

I think that maybe I made him out to what I have been waiting for when he isn't worth all the b.s.. my heart hurts but I can't change his feelings. It hurts the most he was my best friend and it's like he is living 2 different lives. And if he cheated on his wife with this new girl then he would have cheated on me down the road I'm sure

 

Sad to say but you could be right. If he’s cheating, he’s drama. And he’s making it more dramatic by telling you he can’t be friends anymore. You don’t need to be a part of that.

[poshcut]

Sad to say but you could be right. If he’s cheating, he’s drama. And he’s making it more dramatic by telling you he can’t be friends anymore. You don’t need to be a part of that.

Yea I agree with with you. I guess I just never thought he could be that kind of guy.

[DaisyMayPorter]

Yea I agree with with you. I guess I just never thought he could be that kind of guy.

 

Honestly, I have a friend who I have a big crush on, but now he is with someone else, so I'm trying to move on. If he ever said he could not be friends anymore, it would just kill me. I haven't spoken to him in 2 weeks and it's killing me. I totally get it. I hope your guy will figure it out and realize he was wrong and be your friend again.

[wgmitch]

I feel for you as you seem to have strong feelings for this man, but truth be told he doesn't sound that great. Also, I'm surprised you aren't writing about how your finance cheated on you? (Unless you have another thread about that?)

 

I'm not so sure it's a bad thing that he doesn't want to be friends, just try and focus on you. He may try to use you if new girl doesn't work out. I would stay clear of him. I'm sure you have other friends that actually want to be your friend.

 

Just know that you have friends here and you can reach out anytime.

 

Mitch

[Lambert]

I think that maybe I made him out to what I have been waiting for when he isn't worth all the b.s.. my heart hurts but I can't change his feelings. It hurts the most he was my best friend and it's like he is living 2 different lives. And if he cheated on his wife with this new girl then he would have cheated on me down the road I'm sure

yeah there's that and I don't know what it is about human nature but we always imagine these crazy drama-filled scenarios are somehow going to change into an easy-going, loving relationship.