Got a Bad Case of Anxiety Tonight About My Relationship

[Seraphim]

I don't.

 

 

 

Because she falls into a stereotype I have for those people.

 

 

 

No disagreement.

 

Then IT IS part of the break up and just admit that. Next time just find somebody that aligns with your belief system .

[katrina1980]

Cc I'm curious to know how the topic of politics started in the first place, on your first date?

 

Did she initiate? Did you?

 

I usually make it a point to wait till at least the third date to bring it up. Lol

[boltnrun]

"I confronted her about her beliefs "

 

This seldom ends well. As you now know.

[Careerchoice]

Cc I'm curious to know how the topic of politics started in the first place, on your first date?

 

Did she initiate? Did you?

 

I usually make it a point to wait till at least the third date to bring it up. Lol

 

We were at a bar with only a few people. A guy was talking to a couple several feet away. I couldn't hear them. She said something along the lines of "These people are being really nice to this guy. He's one of those hardcore liberals. I'm a Republican." It was definitely a nails on chalkboard moment for me lol. She is a low-level part-time local politician (school board). We didn't discuss it beyond that on the first date.

 

I would have no problem discussing politics on the first date again. If my date has all these negative beliefs, I want to know about it ASAP. My time is valuable.

[Careerchoice]

"I confronted her about her beliefs "

 

This seldom ends well. As you now know.

 

Confronting her on her beliefs had nothing to do with the break up. I did that a week after our first date. She backed off from her positions quite a bit. I would certainly do that again.

 

Again, her political beliefs had nothing to do with the break up. We broke up because each time I brought up an issue in our relationship, she would overreact, criticize me for the delivery of my message, and tell me to choose my battles (shut up). There's no chance I was going to accept that type of treatment.

[katrina1980]

Each time you brought up an issue in your relationship?

 

You mean issue with her?

 

How often did this happen, how long were you dating her?

 

Perhaps it's just as well it's over, the entire thing sounds off.

 

But then again you acknowledge this, so....

 

Moving forward.....

[Careerchoice]

Each time you brought up an issue in your relationship?

 

You mean issue with her?

 

How often did this happen, how long were you dating her?

 

Perhaps it's just as well it's over, the entire thing sounds off.

 

But then again you acknowledge this, so....

 

Moving forward.....

 

Just an issue that needed to be addressed. She blew up three times in a month and a half. Let me give you one of the examples. A few weeks in, I was supposed to go over her house one night. I had worked all day and had to spend some time with my cat. I told her I would leave around 7:30, but I didn't end up leaving until 9. She said she didn't appreciate that. I said I didn't think it was that big of a deal since we weren't going anywhere, but if it was important to her, I would try to be more on time, or at least keep her updated better. A couple of weeks later, we were supposed to meet at my brother's house for the Super Bowl. Earlier in the day she said that she might have to drive her daughters around, so she might be late. I get to my brother's house and ask when she was going to be there. She said she was watching the game and it was too late for her to come over. I told her normally I would be fine with it, but since it was such a big issue to her when I changed plans without notifying her, she was being a bit hypocritical by having different rules for the both of us. She flew off the handle, told me to choose my battles, and hung up the phone on me. I called her back and told her she's not allowed to do that to me again or we're done talking. She gave a mild apology and tried to end the argument abruptly, but I said I was still confused about what her expectations were. We were able to talk about it a little bit more calmly, but it was not a good experience because of her. She wasn't able to discuss things like a rational adult.

 

I don't think a relationship where you can't talk about things openly is healthy. She had a history of doing this with her ex-husband. According to her, they would go weeks without talking to each other. They would hold all of their negative feelings inside and just fume at each other. It ended with him leaving her for her best friend. I'm obviously not making excuses for his behavior (never met him), but I do see why things happened the way they did.

[Careerchoice]

So she had some of my items (garage door opener the most important) and I messaged her about getting them back to me. I told her I would send her a prepaid envelope to get that back to me and she could either mail or drop off the rest at my office when she was in the area. She replied that she would drop them off at my office this weekend. I can hear the collective groan of the board. My mind has been racing all day. Why offer to drive thirty minutes away just to drop off some clothes? I hate this :-(

[Hds2014]

When I had the flu I was so sick for a week I could barely get up out of bed to eat let alone try to text my friends or girlfriend. 6 hours NC is nothing. The woman is ill, let her heal.