Casual break ups matter too!

[Cope]

Well the only difference between someone who is a sex addict and someone who likes a lot of sex is how much it negatively affects their life.

 

It does sound like he is a bit of a sex addict though.

 

I do get fixated on sex sometimes though.

I watch porn if I can't have it with my wife, but anything else isn't even in the realm of my possibilities. If you have it with a lot of people in unsafe ways then you most likely are an addict.

 

I have two children and have a very busy life with my family. My wife and I typically find time to have it 4 to 7 times a week.

 

If we have a week of low responsibilities and have a lot of time together we might get 10 to 12 times.

 

But I just want to have sex with my wife a lot. Not other people...lol.

 

I also like to smoke when I get home from work, before my family get home, and I start dinner. Then I smoke before I go to bed.

 

But I run out a lot and I don't have issues if I don't have any. My budget for it is very structured.

 

People's libido in relationships are very interesting to me.

 

I like sex 7+ times a week. My wife is more like a 3-5 times a week. I have never had any desire to "supplement" that with anyone besides my wife.

 

Whereas I have friends who wouldn't want sex more than 3 times a week yet seek outside martial relations.

 

It is all just vastly interesting.

 

See I don't know if it effects his life negatively, he claims that's there's two things he loves in life and one of it is sex. So I don't know if that's healthy, I mean why not? He doesn't seem tortured by it to be honest. Although they say that if you think one's a sex addict, they probably are, I can't be sure. The only thing I can be sure of is that was way too much for me to handle. Not if I was the one receiving most of it, by all means :welcoming: , but as an open relationship. Of course, I don't know what I would do with a guy who's thinking about sex ALL day. I hope, for his sake that he's not like that with this new girl, I mean, he wasn't into me so maybe I only saw that side, ya know? If he's like that with this girl then he really is doomed and maybe that does give the "negative affect" that an addiction needs to be diagnosed.

 

You do sound a lot like me, I enjoy porn too even in relationships. That is indeed a high sex drive, but as you said, as long as it doesn't affect your everyday life, it's healthy and you seem to have found a woman that is really close to your needs so it's awesome!!

[thealchemist]

Honestly I don't understand how people with high libidos function outside of a LT relationship.

 

If I had to "casually" find all my partners for sex I would spend a LOT of time looking and would never be able to get as much as I do with my wife.

 

Or I would have to juggle 2 to 3 fwb type situations with woman. That sounds like more drama and work than just one devoted partner.

 

Whereas cheating to have more sex is just a temporary solution. Eventually you will get caught and have a lot less sex.

 

It just doesn't make economical sense to me, for people with a high libido, to have anything but a LTR.

 

 

I might have been considered a sex addict but I have learned to control it and not let it control me so it isn't really an issue anymore.

 

I remember being like 15 and masturbating over a dozen times in a day. Not a rare event either. So I might have been one.

[Cope]

Honestly I don't understand how people with high libidos function outside of a LT relationship.

 

If I had to "casually" find all my partners for sex I would spend a LOT of time looking and would never be able to get as much as I do with my wife.

 

Or I would have to juggle 2 to 3 fwb type situations with woman. That sounds like more drama and work than just one devoted partner.

 

Whereas cheating to have more sex is just a temporary solution. Eventually you will get caught and have a lot less sex.

 

It just doesn't make economical sense to me, for people with a high libido, to have anything but a LTR.

 

 

I might have been considered a sex addict but I have learned to control it and not let it control me so it isn't really an issue anymore.

 

I remember being like 15 and masturbating over a dozen times in a day. Not a rare event either. So I might have been one.

 

That's exactly what I asked him! Isn't this tiresome?! It would drive me crazy! Now that I'm single again, oh it's so hard! I'm like damn do I have to go out too? :(

So yeah the solution is to balance 2-3 fwb, which could be stressful too but at least easier and less risky.

 

I'm glad you got over it and didn't let it control you. I almost went down that road with him; so glad I'm out!