Blackcurrent32 Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 Hey there, I will try to make this as short as possible as I really do need some advice. Abit of background story on me I am a 23-year-old female, who has had two short-term relationships with both endly badly. My first relationship there was infidelity and cheating it lasted approximately 6 months, this ended 3 years ago. Last year I entered another relationship with a guy, who also was openly unfaithful to me and showed signs of becoming physically abusive so I left in September 2017 after approximately 3 months together. Inbetween my relationships, I have been sleeping with guys on a casual basis without pursuing much more. Ok now for the story at hand, So I met a guy online, we had good online and offline chemistry however we agreed we both wanted something casual and not serious at all. However after we had sex, the guy who I had drinks with, laughed with and told me he was adamant on only having something casual decided to tell me in essence: You give me everything I want, we have a connection. I want to be exclusive with you he later elaborated that he does not want another guy "touching me" and we have a connection (we do have a connection, but connections fade) I agreed that I would not sleep with anyone else other than him, however after the post-orgasm euphoria, I realised what I got myself into. I was in exclusive friends with benefits relationship with a guy I have only spent a week talking to, I barely know him. I started to panic and feel suffocated as I wanted to go with different guys and just be free, so I broke up with him twice within the month however he would talk me out of it, and I would miss his company so we both got back together, of recent we have gone from exclusive friends with benefits to exclusively dating. Now we have been together for two months, however, I am becoming resentful towards him, the more I get to know this guy the more I see that we are horrendously mismatched.Here are a few reasons why: - DRIVE: I want someone driven, but he doesn't seem to want an actual nine to five/any real ambition to better his life and I am extremely driven. - SEX: Our sex life is good, however I feel that he is too into the sex and sees me as an object. When we text he finds ways to talk about sex, and to arrange having sex / meet up to go out which leads to have sex. I love sex, however I just feel that he is more interested in the sex than me, I know relationships based on sex fizzle out very fast as there is no bond other than that keeping two people together. - NO INTEREST IN WHO I AM: I have been trying to open up to him more, however, he does not care about my day, the ins and outs of my life, what goes on in my mind. I can not remember the last time he asked me about my day / how I am? We do have the occasional deep conversation however I have to initate it, and I am doing the most of the talking. When I come home late from a night out, he does make sure I got home alright, but instead he is messaging me how much he wants me. - MONEY: I have been with guys who want to look after me and it makes me feel wanted and loved and I love treating my guy to gifts and meals. On the first date we went half, he does not buy my food, had the ordasity when I went to buy myself some food on "why didn't you ask if I wanted anything?" . We split the bill, if he could have it his way I'd pay for him and myself. I told him, that if this is purely sexual relationship and he just wants sex I am more than happy to take this relationship a step back and not talk as frequently as we do (everyday) and we can still be exclusive friends with benefits however he believes that would kill the vibe and he wants to talk everyday. Quite frankly I don't know if I have commitment issues due to my last two relationships so I am self sabotaging, or I need to kick this guy to the curb once and for all. Thoughts? Thank you for reading and responding X Link to comment
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