Trinity11 Posted January 18, 2018 Share Posted January 18, 2018 I have been dating someone the last 2.5 months and one night (before date 9) a friend questioned what kind of man he was because he had to run to work for a moment before meeting us but didn't tell me and it sent me into a negative/suspicious frame of mind about the person i was dating for absolutely no reason (yes we were at the bar at the time, so alcohol clouds judgement) Long story short, i was a bit weird/tough around him that night and expelled a few feelings prematurely (I said i knew what i was looking for in general, not sure about him specifically, not too bad) On date 10 I apologized him for surprising him, it was unfair. At no point had i expected a reply. He said thats ok and actually he likes it (honesty i guess) I should have left it right there. BUT, I then i went on to say I am always excited to meet up and hoped he was on the same page and generally was still giving out insecure vibes/looking for reassurance when we were not at that stage. The next day, I sent the dreaded thank you text as i realized i had not said thank you for dinner the previous eve, but then regretted it when i realized it was just too much, my vibe was still stuck. Things kind of took a turn after this and the contact has become more infrequent (just taking longer to reply to text). Ive given him space, which i think of as a time to take space for myself, and think about my behavior, what triggered it and when, and thought about his in comparison. My investment became lopsided and ive taken some time to practice mindfulness, which is a new concept for me. After that comment my friend made, my energy shifted from going with the flow, to worrying about what kind of man he might be, worrying about if hes into me rather than thinking about if HE is right for ME, enjoying the moment and mirroring investment into the pre-relationship. Classic dating error arising from anxiety about "where this is going" I guess. What id really like now is to take a big step back, and start over in my mind so to speak. As far as the next date goes, he told me when he was free, and i picked a day but in the eve rather than day and im waiting on a reply that that is ok or not...I feel like hes fading if not gone as he has not confirmed yet. I wonder if you were on the receiving end of my temporary insanity, would you give me a second chance to slow things down? Should I even mention my error or will that come off needy? I don't want to seem like I'm constantly apologizing. I am a bit of an anxious person and it perplexes me to even write this. I do have a lot going on in my life and its not the end of the world if I don't get a second chance, but I do like him, and I do realize that i jumped the gun and i feel like a fool for letting it happen. I just hope i can have the chance of giving it a better shot by being true to myself and not getting caught in my own head. Link to comment
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