Mlark10 Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 So recently I just started talking with my ex again because I heard he was going into the navy for 8 years. When we broke up 4 years ago it was sudden and he didn’t tell me why and ignored me. So I recently asked him why and he answered and was very honest. We met up for lunch and just sat and talked for a long time. It was fun. I think a part of me will always love him but idk if this is just infatuation because I haven’t heard from him in 4 years. Currently I’m in a relationship with someone and we’ve been dating for 3 years but lately the spark seems to just not be there for us. I love the guy I’m with very much but lately I just feel unhappy and I don’t know what to do because I do love him. I just don’t feel as complete as I think I should? I don’t know I really need advice. Please help. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Unfortunately this has nothing to do with your ex and more to do with your current unfulfilling relationship. It seems like you are ready, willing and looking to cheat on him, so why not address this? What do you think is missing? Why has it dragged out 3 years? Currently I’m in a relationship with someone and we’ve been dating for 3 years but lately the spark seems to just not be there for us. lately I just feel unhappy. I just don’t feel as complete as I think I should? Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Be careful, because you might just be thinking you want to be with your ex because you are feeling stagnant in your current relationship. Think before taking any further action. Does your current BF know you met up with your ex? Link to comment
DanZee Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Well, if you want to talk a little more about your current relationship and what's been happening, we can give you some suggestions. As to the general question, it's difficult to sustain that heart-pounding, head swimming kind of love in a long-term relationship. It usually evolves into things like admiration, respect, tenderness, intimacy, etc. But if you're having fights and arguments, those are signs that there's trouble in a relationship. Let us know. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Why would you reconnect with someone who dumped and ignored you? C'mon. That's an awful way for him to treat you. Does your bf know about this little meet up? Focus on your current relationship. Get counseling, or end things. Lose the lousy ex. He was not respectful to you. At all!!!!!!! Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 So how did your boyfriend react when you told him you were planning to meet up with your ex? How did he respond when you told him you spent hours with your ex? You did tell him...correct? Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted January 18, 2018 Share Posted January 18, 2018 So how did your boyfriend react when you told him you were planning to meet up with your ex? How did he respond when you told him you spent hours with your ex? I didn't read where OP said she told her ex, did I miss something? OP, my guess is you're feeling nostalgic about the ex, perhaps mixed in with a bit of "longing" (which is not love).. Feelings like that tend to pop up once in awile, especially when experiencing a rough patch in your current RL. It will pass. You say you love your current BF, well then focus on him and your RL. Work on reviving the "spark" you once felt. Plan some fun sexy things to do together. Wish the ex well, and say goodbye. Forever. It's up to you whether or not you wish to tell your current you had lunch with your ex, personally I don't think it's necessary, it was one lunch. I don't tell my BF every person I have lunch with, or even drinks with after work.. Nor does he. We trust each other, and trust that we will both behave with integrity, and respect for each other, and our RL. Unless of course you plan on seeing your ex again, but if not, no need in my opinion. Consider it a sort of "closure" if you will, since he ghosted you. You talked, got the answers you needed, done, over, moving on. No need to create unnecessary drama in your RL, which it might. Telling your BF places more significance and importance on it than what it actually was or deserves to be. Unless it "was" significant and/or you plan to continue seeing him. In that case tell him, not doing so is deceitful. Link to comment
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