Am I wrong for being mad at boyfriend's friend

[Raindropsun]

My boyfriend has a good female friend. They have been friends for at least a few years for what I know. And i have only known him for a year and a half.

 

I'm not sure if I am in the wrong if I bring up to my boyfriend that i do not like the idea of the woman texting him at late hours. She's asking him to hangout at times and she asks him to hang so she can cry and complain about her own relationship with her boyfriend.

 

I have male friends myself but I do not go and act like that if they have girlfriends just out of respect.

 

I already told my boyfriend I think his friend likes him but he brushes it off saying she's in love with her own boyfriend. So I don't want to sound "dramatic" bringing up this particular friend again.

 

What I'm asking is do I have grounds to bring this up to him without me sounding jealous, crazy, whatever.

[j.man]

Same friend you were complaining about a few weeks back?

 

If you don't like the idea of a boyfriend having a close female friend like this, then leave him. You admit yourself this friendship existed years before you were in the picture, so it's not as though he's changed in some way. Nothing wrong with the boundaries you have, but there is something wrong with having them and wanting to impose them onto somebody with whom they obviously don't fit.

[itsallgrand]

You can tell him what your boundaries are and then the rest is up to him. If he continually crosses boundaries of yours, then I'd suggest finding someone more compatible. Trying to change someone is one of those things that will only stress out you to no avail. A person has to want to do it of their own accord.

 

And it's about him, not her.

[DanZee]

Well, you already sound jealous and a bit crazy. You should never try to break up friendships or come between friends. She's been around longer than you, and if you pressure your boyfriend to drop her, you're the one that might get dropped. Of course, his friend likes him, but you're the girlfriend. Girlfriends can be replaced, close friends cannot be replaced.

[panther]

You can tell him what your boundaries are and then the rest is up to him. If he continually crosses boundaries of yours, then I'd suggest finding someone more compatible. Trying to change someone is one of those things that will only stress out you to no avail. A person has to want to do it of their own accord.

 

And it's about him, not her.

 

I agree with this.

 

I also think a small amount of jealousy here is acceptable as long as you don't nag him about it.

Does this interfere with the time you two spend together? Has he ever cancelled plans with you to go to her? What about the other way around - has e ever said no to her because you were together or had plans?

[DaisyMayPorter]

Unfortunately if you like this guy, you may just have to deal with it. Embrace the friendship or break up with him.

[indea08]

I would tell him I'm not interested in having a boyfriend who wants to be an emotional rescuer to other women. From there, the decision is his.

[Wiseman2]

Yes. Be mad at him, not her. Texting until the wee hours takes two as well as them going to a concert without telling you, no less inviting you, is all about him and his choices, not this friend. He wants you to be mad at her not him...it plays right into his hands. It makes you look jealous, her look wily and him look like the innocent victim of two women in a cat-fight over him.