ManyDates Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 Was dating a girl recently (33) and we got along great but her family was very religious. After a few dates it became apparent that her family (which she was VERY close with) wanted her partner to be just as religious as theirs and I wasn't. She kept bringing up her father and how important it was that I met his very high standards and stuff, obviously me being 37 kinda laughed that off. It became VERY apparent when I found out she had a midnight curfew (at 33!!!) and would even get yelled at by the guy if she arrived home late. This girl told me she loved me after a month. I conformed initially, she would come over just about every day and leave late at night. We went away twice once because her parents were on vacation and she could, although the other time she actually lied to them and had to get her dads approval to which she said she was going away for a night with a female friend from work. Yes I knew this was bad but figured if I could meet the parents they would see that I was genuine and a good established guy for their daughter. I even made plans to go pick her up at home and meet the family, but she called it off the last minute. I am pretty sure it was due to tension because they figured out she was dating someone and hiding it from them, which was probably pretty bad. At this point they started telling her that I was going to leave her and that I'd never stay with her etc. This made her think things were bad when they weren't. Even after an amazing evening together she'd call up after saying "what's going on with you, you seem off" when I wasn't at all. Then she started lying and playing games - which I think was because her father said she wasn't allowed to see me anymore. Dinner plans made, which I would make and then all of a sudden she's in the hospital etc and other blatant lies. Coming over during the afternoon but going home so she'd be there the same time if she left from work. Due to this behavior I quit contacting her I also learned that her father had also stepped in when she was engaged a few years prior and made her end it with that guy as well. His threat was always that he'd "disown her". I guess I am just writing this to get it off my chest and I truly feel sorry for her as that's true oppression she has to deal with. Link to comment
thornz Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 I think she’s married and you got played. Link to comment
ManyDates Posted January 8, 2018 Author Share Posted January 8, 2018 I think she’s married and you got played. Lol no, but I can see why you'd think that - I would too. Link to comment
Mari Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 Was dating a girl recently (33) and we got along great but her family was very religious. After a few dates it became apparent that her family (which she was VERY close with) wanted her partner to be just as religious as theirs and I wasn't. She kept bringing up her father and how important it was that I met his very high standards and stuff, obviously me being 37 kinda laughed that off. It became VERY apparent when I found out she had a midnight curfew (at 33!!!) and would even get yelled at by the guy if she arrived home late. This girl told me she loved me after a month. ... I guess I am just writing this to get it off my chest and I truly feel sorry for her as that's true oppression she has to deal with. Is she from a different culture? Cause I know this stuff is true in certain cultures and they do tell the kids that someone like you will leave after marriage. They base this off of how in this culture sleeping before marriage is acceptable and people do break up after sleeping together. So they reserve sleeping post marriage and say that if the guy/girl has left others after sleeping with them what would stop them from leaving you. Her age of 33 doesn't have to do with much. All dates would need to be chaperoned, if they are not then she's kinda pushing her luck. If she was able to date you without a chaperone then she has more freedom than some do. It's not really oppression, it's that they're way more family oriented and traditional. They won't do abortions and they don't want any possibility of allowing the girl to get pregnant outside of marriage. So unless you're coming to marry her then it's not going to be normal dating for you. Link to comment
ManyDates Posted January 8, 2018 Author Share Posted January 8, 2018 Is she from a different culture? Cause I know this stuff is true in certain cultures and they do tell the kids that someone like you will leave after marriage. They base this off of how in this culture sleeping before marriage is acceptable and people do break up after sleeping together. So they reserve sleeping post marriage and say that if the guy/girl has left others after sleeping with them what would stop them from leaving you. Her age of 33 doesn't have to do with much. All dates would need to be chaperoned, if they are not then she's kinda pushing her luck. If she was able to date you without a chaperone then she has more freedom than some do. It's not really oppression, it's that they're way more family oriented and traditional. They won't do abortions and they don't want any possibility of allowing the girl to get pregnant outside of marriage. So unless you're coming to marry her then it's not going to be normal dating for you. Yes, middle eastern Coptic Christian. Said she was a virgin, but she gave it up on the 4th date or so which made me think that wasn't true - something she was just bred to say. Thing is though, I would have married her had things been allowed to progress naturally. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 I really doubt you'd succeed in having a relationship with this girl. I would call her oppressed by her family and their religion. Too bad it didnt work out but the odds were never in your favour. I dont get the impression she was married when she was with you. But you never know! Link to comment
ManyDates Posted January 8, 2018 Author Share Posted January 8, 2018 I really doubt you'd succeed in having a relationship with this girl. I would call her oppressed by her family and their religion. Too bad it didnt work out but the odds were never in your favour. I dont get the impression she was married when she was with you. But you never know! I knew my odds were bad, but I figured at 33 she'd let her female needs and desires take over, guess not! Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 Look for someone who is not so religious and more independent. Never expect people to change for you. Link to comment
Mari Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 Yes, middle eastern Coptic Christian. Said she was a virgin, but she gave it up on the 4th date or so which made me think that wasn't true - something she was just bred to say. Thing is though, I would have married her had things been allowed to progress naturally. I think she's supposed to stay a virgin, it could be she's tired of trying to get married the normal way. Her parents should've gotten her married off by now and I think they're being too overprotective or they never got suitors. Link to comment
ManyDates Posted January 9, 2018 Author Share Posted January 9, 2018 I think she's supposed to stay a virgin, it could be she's tired of trying to get married the normal way. Her parents should've gotten her married off by now and I think they're being too overprotective or they never got suitors. They have tried and she wants nothing to do with it Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 I knew my odds were bad, but I figured at 33 she'd let her female needs and desires take over, guess not! No, I guess not! Her religious parents and background are pretty set in her life and you dont fit in with that scenario. Find a more suitable girl who is not religious. Link to comment
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