Dont know how to handle situations

[misunderstood5]

Okay this is going to be long so bear w me :( the love of my life and i know he is the one. we recently broke up because he moved to california for college, he is the one for me but i am so confused and hurt, he tells me that he cares about me but since we arent together he is having sex with other people.. and i have become okay with that, he is single he has no loyalty to me and its just one night stands nothing serious, recently he posted a picture with a girl kissing his cheek and to me it was inappropriate because he was showing this girl off, this girl is just a friend to him but it hurt my heart so bad and he apolgized but if he cared about me he wouldnt have posted it anyways right?? so i went crazy and kept . calling him and calling him and now he has blocked my number, i dont know how to get him to understand that it wasnt right to publicallly show off another girl if he at all cared about me,it wasnt right to do that when he wants to be with me and is coming home in a few days, i feel so hurt and i dont know how to handle it and i dont just wanna get over it and have that picture still up on his profile, i want him to treat me better and realize im not always gonna be here.

[lunanoir94]

You need to cut all emotional ties you have to this man. He is NOT the one! You have tricked yourself into believing this. The facts are tried and true: he wasn't interested in being long distance because his desire for casual sex is much stronger than his love for you. Truth hurts. If the so called love of my life did this, I would NEED to do everything to preserve my sanity and dignity and move on, particularly going no contact so I could easier let go.

 

He does not owe you anything. He is single. The relationship he has with that women is NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS. Sad but true. He hasn't lied or deceived you and he has been honest in all forms so I think you need to now respect that and respect yourself. Maybe one day he will have a twinge of regret or sadness when he sees you've moved on, or he may not care at all. It doesn't really matter. He has made his choice and you will drive yourself crazy if you continue to watch his life through social media.

 

Humans are strange beings because we rather cling to something hurtful and broken -just because that source of pain is familiar - than take a step forward and find something that makes us happy. Recognize this chapter in your life has ended and go fourth knowing there is more optimism in the future.

[Mrs34836]

Cut off all ties with him.

[Wiseman2]

You should set yourself free. Unfortunately he's not thinking about you the same way you think of him.

 

This doesn't upset you:

he is having sex with other people... and i have become okay with that

But this does?

recently he posted a picture with a girl kissing his cheek

[rosephase]

im not always gonna be here.

 

Then stop being there.

 

He isn't going to start treating you better. He isn't with you. Caring for someone doesn't mean you wrap your life around their insecurities. He doesn't want to be with you. He broke up with you and is sleeping with other people. He doesn't care if he hurts you on social media. It's not his job to care about that. He is single.

 

Have some self love and block him. He isn't "the one". "the one" is a myth. Even if it wasn't you are both teenagers. You are both changing a lot and will keep changing.

[SweetGirl28]

The kissing picture is nothing compared to the fact he is having sex with others.

You need to block him from social media and your phone.

Don't see him when he comes home either.

You'll end up his one night stand too.

 

He is over you, I'm sorry. You need to move on from this.

No one who cares for an ex goes bragging about their sex life to them.

[No1]

Few things here.

You asked how to handle this situation. How you are doing it now is wrong. As you see, he has blocked you because you were angry that you believed his lie and that a 'friend' can perhaps be more. In the first part of the post you said that he was having sex with other people and you were okay with it. You figured as long as he has no feelings for these girls you were fine. After all, he can have feelings for only one girl at a time right?

Here is your mistake. He lied to you and you believed him. He told you these girls were friends and they mean nothing to him. He probably told you that he cares for you and only you and that you shouldnt worry because if you were there in California, you two would be together. I can imagine something like that was said because its what I would of said. Anyway.. What he told you were things to soften the blow, let you down easy, they give you hope and keep you hanging on so that it doesnt feel like a break up, more like a break for when you two could be together. You were fine with it until you saw a girl in a picture with him. Thats when you felt like you were losing or lost him. So in panic mode, you used the "if you cared for me" line in the desparation handbook and he blocked you after you called him about 20 times in a day.

 

You said you want him to treat you better. He owes you nothing. You two are broken up and if you two were dating and he cheated on you, this reply would be different. But he is not cheating, he is free and he owes you nothing in a form of an apology. He let you go and he is having fun dating and kissing and having sex with other girls. Im sorry to say but its over.

 

I know its not easy. Not having control of a situation feels helpless and you run around in circles trying to figure out what you should do. The best move is to do nothing. You calling him, messaging him, emailing him, texting him will only validate the reason for breaking up with you. And he can use this for sympathy when it comes to other girls. Look at my Crazy X trying to stalk me when I told her we were over. If you want him to miss you, then he must see life without you. That means you leave him alone and you go on living your own life. You go out and make you happy. You re-discover that girl that attracted your X. You can go out with other guys and as strange as it might seem, you are going to meet someone else and you will fall for him, kiss him and make more memories.

 

Your X was not the one for you Im sorry to say. If he was, he would be with you instead of having sex with others.