A message from my ex

[Maxluc]

My ex left me 3 months ago because she didn't love me. We were together for 6 months and she never said "i love you". Right after the breakup she was nice and called me her best friend forever and that she doesn't deserve my love but that she hopes I will be successful in the future.

 

In the beginning I thought I was able to accept the breakup and the friendship and I tried that. But after a week I started missing her and tried to convince her to get back together by sending different kinds of messages to her.

 

During those 3 months all together I sent about 20 messages. Her responses were either just friendly or telling me that she doesn't think I know what I want.

 

It was all done through messaging. She never wanted to talk. Twice I asked her if we could talk. The first time she said she was too busy, the second time she told me to move on and that we could talk at a later time.

 

I made all the mistakes and she went low contact right away. So I gave her two weeks of space and wrote her again. I told her about what has been going on in my life and at my job. She responded saying that she was working a lot too and that she can't wait for winter to be over.

One week later I sent another message, she didn't respond. So I waited another two weeks and sent her another one. She blocked me.

 

At that point I made another mistake and I sent her 4 very upset emails. I told her that I was suffering so much from the breakup and that this is hurting me more than it ever should and that I will never forget that.

 

 

Here is here response:

 

"I have to say I'm sorry. When I saw your name pop up I felt stressed and very heavy because I did not reply to your emails as you expected. Then one email after the other came with heavy tones. I didn't read each email, I only saw the first line of one or two of them and then I knew the rest of it all.

 

I'm happy when I read that you are enjoying your work, but when I was about to reply, your angry emails came in before I started to write. Then I thought I will let you calm down, but then another one came...Im sorry about what you have been through, but please don't put everything on me saying that you won't forget that... You and I just finished a relationship because you and I are not suitable for each other! We all have experienced a broken heart before but the most important thing I have learned is that I can stand up again. There isn't anything that could break you completely. Learn how to self-regulate and become reborn. That's the key.

 

You always make everything look so black and white, that's the problem. That is the reason why you still feel like this about the whole thing! I hope you can be a happy person again soon.

 

Look after yourself!"

[TankGirl4980]

As hard as this may sound, she is right, do not loose time trying to be with someone that doesn't love you back. You are missing on your life and you are missing on someone that will love you more and better than this girl. Love yourself first and then love will come. Your heart will not be broken forever, you will heal I promise you. Move on, focus on yourself and you will feel much better

[Hollyj]

Leave her alone! It is very disrespectful to keep this up. She has told you that it is over.

 

Leave her alone!!! This is becoming stalkerish. I'm surprised you are not blocked.

[Maxluc]

That was two weeks ago and I replied and told her I was sorry for not respecting her space. That's it! I knew that what I did wasn't right and I do feel shame for it. I was not in the right mindset after she blocked me but I have to accept it. I won't make the mistake to write her again and move on.

[Heavy]

You put everything in black and white because that's how you should live life. If you allow grey area's in your live so does the drama. You are best to leave this girl alone and live your own life, if in time she contacts you again DO NOT ANSWER. There will be no new news from her about how she feels about you and is most likely going through a rough patch, thought of you and thought she can lift her ego boost just a little knowing there is a guy that still wants her.

[Maxluc]

I don't know why I fought so long for someone who didn't love me. Almost 3 months, that's a long time.

There were so many flags too. We met online. I let her move in after dating me for 2 weeks, she was 9 years older and was talking about starting a family after a month. She also kept using her online dating profile in the beginning and in the end of the relationship. I was in love and blinded by the fact that she was really pushing for something serious. That's why I hoped I could change her mind. My reasoning was self defeating.

[Hollyj]

You let her move in after two weeks???? Shouldn't you have waited a year?

[Maxluc]

You let her move in after two weeks???? Shouldn't you have waited a year?

 

She was from a different country and was staying at her friends place before I met her. She had just arrived one week before we met. She was not able to stay at her friends place for much longer so I offered her to move in and she accepted. She also couldn't work, so I had to support her which was tough, but I was in love with her pretty soon and wanted to do so much to give us a chance and make it work. She didn't see us as "suitable" because it was not easy for me to give her certainty for the future for many reasons. She seemed really serious and even introduced me to her parents a few times. We were supposed to visit her home country during the holidays, I was going to propose then, now I am alone.

[Hollyj]

You did not know this person. She was as stranger. Moving her into your home and supporting her after two weeks, is nuts!

 

Learn from this experience!

[Maxluc]

You did not know this person. She was as stranger. Moving her into your home and supporting her after two weeks, is nuts!

 

Learn from this experience!

 

I will try to learn from this, but to be honest, I would still take her back. I was mentally getting ready to propose. She had a little bit of money from her parents every month and contributed in other ways and I appreciated that too. We were different people and I can understand why she didn't love me. She had to put up with all the things she didn't like about me. Also I am 27 and she is 36. She changed all the plans I had for my future. I changed many things in my life for her and would have supported her and give her the future she and her family wanted from me. She has left to go back to her home country by now to work there and earn her own money. Her visa here would have expired if nobody had married and sponsored her to stay. I wish that could have been me. In the end she said that she wanted to go and meet someone she can love.