Should you call out your ex when you find out they've been cheating on you?

[Chief85]

Just some thoughts guys. Have you been cheated on? What did you do? Did you call your ex out on the lies and deceit? Or go on with your lives?

[IAmFCA]

My ex. So who cares. Ex.

[boltnrun]

Aren't you dating someone else anyway?

 

Does she know you're still hung up on your ex?

[Chief85]

Aren't you dating someone else anyway?

 

Does she know you're still hung up on your ex?

 

Yes, well, I was. I broke it off with her because I wasn't ready and told her the reasons why.

[boltnrun]

Yes, well, I was. I broke it off with her because I wasn't ready and told her the reasons why.

 

Brownie points for honesty.

 

Never mind about calling out your ex. Unless you want it to be glaringly obvious to her that you aren't over her yet. Do you want her to know?

[Chief85]

Brownie points for honesty.

 

Never mind about calling out your ex. Unless you want it to be glaringly obvious to her that you aren't over her yet. Do you want her to know?

 

I'm 90% there on being over her. It's still pretty fresh, and the added sting of being cheated on is the difficult part to deal with. It's not my first break up, though it has been the hardest to date, and I have no trouble getting dates/sex/rebounding/moving on normally. Nothing good would come of it, it certainly wouldn't change a thing. The only person who comes off worse is me. It was one of those days, those thoughts creep in and you want to let it out at the person who hurt you.

 

Interested in hearing how others have dealt with similar situations though.

[MissCanuck]

Yes, I have been where you are.

 

I didn't find out the extent of my ex's infidelity until a few months after we'd broken up. I could have called him out, debated it, but elected not to. The relationship was over regardless, and we had grown in different directions. Yes, he tainted my view of him permanently and I could hardly believe he wad capable of it. But he was. I decided I had more to gain by dropping him completely and moving on.

 

I have never regretted that decision either.

[sputnik123]

Hi Chief,

This has happened to me and it hurts like hell.

Just need to remember you are worth more than that and not give them the satisfaction of contact.

You carry on, one day at a time. It's the only way.

[Chief85]

I see now that the signs, all the 'red flags', were there a couple of months before she ended it. I was strung along for a month after, all while she was building a relationship with him. I just didn't want to believe it and tried to work things out. I wanted to call her out on it because she believes she's pulled the wool over everyone's eyes in the way she went about it. I won't contact her, but i'd more than likely give her a piece of my mind if she ever got in touch again.

[SherrySher]

I understand where you're coming from and yes, your first instinct will be too call her out. But resist. It won't do any good and all it will do is make her think you still care on some level.

 

Rise above it. She's not worth it.

 

It might be somewhat satisfying to call her out, but it really is her problem. I would throw all that into the past and move on.

 

If she tries to get a hold of you again, block. Again, no need to sink to her level.

[Heavy]

Been in the same position as yourself 3 years ago. It took a massive toll on me personally that someone I thought could never do such an act did the samething to me as her ex did to her.

 

Best thing you can do is live your own life, in the meantime find things to distract you, don't go to the same places you guys use to hang. Basically what you are trying to do is fall off the face of the planet.

 

Don't call her out as the truth always comes out in the end, believe me on that as they always slip up and there is always someone in the group who remembers the little details and BAM that's when it goes pear shape for them. Best to hold your head high, do some soul searching and set some personal goals.

[sputnik123]

Heavy is spot on

[SweetGirl28]

Been there, done that.

Even took one back, just to have it happen again.

With the same girl, and then he married her! They are divorced now.

He tried coming back, even proposed to me.

But I turned him down.

 

Once someone cheated, it's best to leave them and the memories behind you.

It is always there in your mind, no matter how much you try to suppress it.

 

Instead of calling your ex out, just use it as a tool to remind yourself you deserve so much more

than that deceitful behavior. Rise above it.

[Ganamede]

I see now that the signs, all the 'red flags', were there a couple of months before she ended it. I was strung along for a month after, all while she was building a relationship with him. I just didn't want to believe it and tried to work things out. I wanted to call her out on it because she believes she's pulled the wool over everyone's eyes in the way she went about it. I won't contact her, but i'd more than likely give her a piece of my mind if she ever got in touch again.

 

My ex lined up my replacement in the last 2 months we were still together. She took new guy for a test drive the night before we split to make sure he was up to snuff in the sack...So in her mind she didn't really cheat (wrong order though). Never called her out. ! It was her choice so I thought F%@k her not worth fighting for an ice queen that would do that to somebody... Don't want to give her the satisfaction as on poster mentioned!

Cheers

[aria87]

As angry and hurt as you are, don't call your ex out on it, it's not worth it. I was in the same situation as Miss Canuck; I found about the infidelity a couple months after our breakup and it made me fume. I wanted to call him and curse him and ruin his new relationship but decided not too. Why? Bc then you look like the crazy ex that can't let go. The anger will dissipate in time.

 

Things done in the dark always come out into the light. Let her deal with the consequences of her decisions when the time comes.

[Jan2728]

I called him out. I don't think he cheated with her (though he may have. There was suspicious behavior and if something happened it could have been with her.) He ended up with her and I complained about him not putting boundaries in place with her throughout the relationship. I don't care if he thinks, that I haven't moved on. Screw him. I took the blame for too much when he was a jerk all along. I did care enough to want him to know he was the jerk I always thought he was. (No I won't stay with a jerk next time.) He already knows some friends don't approve of his new relationship, but mostly because she's an opportunist. I don't regret speaking my mind. He was a bully who often spoke over me repeatedly when we were together. Feels good I got to tell him he was not the loyal person he claimed to be. I know it's burning that bridge , knowing that helps me completely move on faster.