About to embark on a new journey of three insted of two

[NetMech]

My wife of 10 years and I are about to embark on our first planned Male-Female-Female threesome and want to make sure we do not ruin our marriage or friendship with our girlfriend whom will be involved.

 

We have set down guidelines and have discussed what we all expect.

 

We have conversed about what we will accept and not.

 

We have set up rules as to our involvement with others outside of the threesome and we have all agreed that it would be safest to practice the safest of sex.

 

All individuals are part of the initiating force and are supporting the decision to move forward. So as best laid plans often fall apart, we want to make sure we have covered all the bases.

 

Please share with us your feelings, concerns, experiances, and advice in this arena. We are new to it and want to be smart rather than regretful.

[DN]

You are playing with fire - expect to get burnt.

[melrich]

Like just about any other venture involving people, open and inclusive communication is the key. You guys sound like you are taking a very mature and open approach to things and I would encourage you to continue to do that.

 

I have never been involved in this type of activity and obviously there are potential pitfalls. It is good that you are trying to learn what they may be upfront, I'm just not sure that this forum will have the requistite experience to advise you.

 

have you also posted to other forums that may specialise more in advice in this area?

[Down-In-A-Hole]

You are playing with fire - expect to get burnt.

[lady00]

I have heard about way too many relationships ruined by this. I have to agree w/DN on this one.

[bluekey]

well... married for 10 years, I assume you two really understant each other and is completely comfortable with trying out new things. I am not married, and my first time having sex was a three some, and to be honest, threesome is not that great. it's a fantasy, I hope both you and your wife really wants to do it, otherwise, don't

[Krystyl]

You can discuss and talk all day and night about what you expect and how you will feel about it afterward....BUT...until you actually do it.....you will not know how you will feel.

 

I'm curious about how you two came to this decision. Did you go to her with it? Did she go to you? Why are you picking someone who is so close to you? Too many emotions and strings attached there.

 

I strongly suggest that you re-think this.....too many marriages and friendships fell apart in the aftermath of such "activities". Why risk your marriage and a good friendship?

 

I have never been in a threesome with a guy and another woman.....and I'm not saying I ever would....BUT...if I was to do it...it would be with people I am not in love with...it would purely be for sex. And the reason for that is: No emotional ties....no strings attached.

 

I think you are going to be unpleasantly surprised with the aftermath.

[Luciana]

I agree with Krystal 100%.

 

This is kind of fantasy is better done with people you have no emotional attachment to.

 

When you involve your spouse or the person you love, the person you share your life, etc, things are bound to happen.

 

I remember a couple I met many many years ago who had a "open marriage". Of course they were divorced a few years later. Human beings are jealous and possesive by nature with the things they care about.

 

Maybe you willl find couples who are into the lifestyle and are very happy after many years. Show me one or more and I might consider this differently.

[NetMech]

Well I took the tempered advice and found that a mixture of both caution and open mindedness was the answer. We all conversed and let nature take its course. We set ground rules and made sure everyone was willing and determinied our individual boundries.

 

Once we started, it was a mixture of exploration and pleasure that was no more weird than accidently walking in on a friend changing clothes. We were all satisfied and still remain friends.

 

The morning and day after were great and we are much closer than before. With the experiance now behind us we are aware of the process involved and know that it is not a bad thing for us but a chance to deepen our friendships by exploring ways to share both laughs and pleasure.

 

Thank you to all of those of you who were willing to share. I am sure we're going to be doing this many more times when we can. It is not for everyone, but we found it is for us.

[Burtee]

Ok, my boyfriend (of almost 7 years) and I have done this with 5 or so women, all of whom were/are good friends of ours. And its always been great. Here is my advice:

1. ALWAYS stick to the rules. NEVER break them, very important.

2. I would first try kissing/fondling each other.

3. Then, on another occasion take it a step further.

4. Have a code word or signal that you and your partner can use if they become uncomfortable.

5. I do not suggest allowing either you or your wife to fool around again with your friend without the other person there.

6. If you or your wife start to feel a deeper attraction for your friend (beyond sexual), I would not do it again.

7. Make sure your friend is not a threat to your marriage.

 

This can be a totally successful experience for all 3 of you if it is done right. Good luck and have fun!