NetMech

It all started over a chance meeting in a thrill park. The interest was sparked. The courtship was long and sometimes painful, but we finally made it work. We started dating, we got engaged, and soon enough we were married. We now have a 4 year old daughter, celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary, and I just found out that she wants to be single and does not love me anymore. To top it off, she has not loved me for quite some time. A simple lie has now shown that there are more lies. Now I'm lost in a downward spiral of doubt, fear, and pain. The funny part of this story; I still love her. Today, she left with an agreed destination yet never arrived. Through the pure chance that our daughter wanting to talk to her mommy we tried to call her, the phone number she left for the destination has long since been disconnected. When I finally reached her via cell phone, she admitted that she had been driving around, too upset to go where she had originally planned to go. Now short of begging, (who am I kidding, I begged) I have asked her to return home so we can talk or just spend some quality time together. I offered to find a babysitter, make a romantic dinner, or whatever she desired, but to no avail. Now she is going to visit her mother. Now I sit half the man I was 24 hours ago, trying to keep it together for my daughters sake. Such a smart girl. She sees through my attempts to maintain composure. She hugs me and tells me she loves me. She asks why my heart is breaking, if it will cause me to die, and if it is broken because mommy does not love me anymore? She tells me it is okay because we can paint her nails. I love my daughter, she is so magical. But I am so afraid of loosing my wife, my friend, and what we have built together. For those men and women out there that have experienced this sort of thing... How did you survive. I can barely.. Ugh.. Thank goddness for xanax. I welcome any suggestions or comments. Thanks for taking the time to read. -Mech link removed

Well I took the tempered advice and found that a mixture of both caution and open mindedness was the answer. We all conversed and let nature take its course. We set ground rules and made sure everyone was willing and determinied our individual boundries. Once we started, it was a mixture of exploration and pleasure that was no more weird than accidently walking in on a friend changing clothes. We were all satisfied and still remain friends. The morning and day after were great and we are much closer than before. With the experiance now behind us we are aware of the process involved and know that it is not a bad thing for us but a chance to deepen our friendships by exploring ways to share both laughs and pleasure. Thank you to all of those of you who were willing to share. I am sure we're going to be doing this many more times when we can. It is not for everyone, but we found it is for us.

My wife of 10 years and I are about to embark on our first planned Male-Female-Female threesome and want to make sure we do not ruin our marriage or friendship with our girlfriend whom will be involved. We have set down guidelines and have discussed what we all expect. We have conversed about what we will accept and not. We have set up rules as to our involvement with others outside of the threesome and we have all agreed that it would be safest to practice the safest of sex. All individuals are part of the initiating force and are supporting the decision to move forward. So as best laid plans often fall apart, we want to make sure we have covered all the bases. Please share with us your feelings, concerns, experiances, and advice in this arena. We are new to it and want to be smart rather than regretful.

Luminous_Eyes Time is the only thing that mends hearts. Understandably you hurt, but that, as you know will pass. My suggestions are to find things to do with your time that allow you to express your emotions/feelings for him such as: Write a poem, a letter you never intend to send, a journal, or something else physical that can be revisited. Given the chance to get something out has a purging effect and can sometimes help us heal. Additionally, the worst of the human emotions are responsible for some of the best love songs, love stories, art, ect.. out today. This is no coincedence. I wish you happieness, joy, and most of all love!

RoxyBabe17 As previously stated, cheating is not an option. Doing so invalidates anything you hold true about your relationship. Even if you do not get caught, you will know and that seed will grow under the mattress until you can no longer stand it. Besides why would you want to hide something from the person you love. Sex is both a physical and emotional thing. I understand the physical and emotional desires and how complicated they can be. But remorse is worse. Stimulating yourself is the safer bet, or maybe trying to establish just what you and your lover are willing to do and not do would be better. Sex is not just intercorse, but an ability to explore each other. Find out what the boundries are and maybe you can both be satisfied.

bellaBH Wow girl, you said a mouthful and were on the edge of going all over the place. Let me try an' break this down. 1) Ex and you are not civil Unless you want to maintain a friendship with the ex, let him go. It sounds like neither of you resolved your differences and are still trying to get one up on the other. Be your own person and grow from the times you had together. If you both have an interest in each other then be civil and respect each others wishes. 2) Friend (not to cute) likes you, you are not interested in/attracted to him as a boyfriend Do not let this guy think that you are interested. Be honest with him, yet gentle. Let him know that you value him and what he is to you. Do not just say "but you are my FRIEND", because guys really hate that. Tell him what and why he is just your frined. 3) You are unsure of your standards due to your difficulty in finding a partner Your standards are never to high and lowering them just makes sure you get someone who can never live up to them. People change, but you can not change them. Look for happieness, it is there where you will find love. Age (regardless of standards) can break through barriers when love comes in. Follow your heart and do what makes you feel right. 4) You feel alone Being alone or feeling alone is very difficult. I am happily married and have a wonderful daughter, but there are days that I feel alone. It is not the presense of others nor the admiration of others that takes away lonelienes. Being truly being satisfied with yourself and willing to share/accept your/their love will snatch that lonelieness from your heart. Good luck in love and happieness!

Call, leave a message and then go on with your plans. If she wants to be part of them she will make an effort to contact you. Remember, she may also be having to deal with things and may not be afforded the time or she may have not gotten the calls yet. Be patient, stressing will not do you any good. Just enjoy your plans... do not let her ruin them.

Nebular Of course it is normal. It is the greatest thing love does to us. It makes us forget everything else but the one whom we find steals our heart away. Relish in the moment. I'm a man and I can tell you that men do have the same feelings but are often pressured not to share them. Just be honest, do not try to rush things and allow nature to run its course. If it is undeniably love that you both share you will be plesently rewarded.

BlackWidow, I have been where you seem to be. Everything bleak without reason or rhyme. Life is and nothing more. Surrounded by saddness consumed by hate, it is hard to find purpose. But I am more than confident that you serve a purpose, and that purpose no matter how large or small is yours and yours alone. I would be more than happy to be a sholder to lean on or at least an ear to chew. It is only when we express our emotions, (into some sort of physicality such as talking or writting) do we even begin to understand them. You are welcome to share or not.. I just wish you happieness and purpose.

The fact that you recognize the problems you have/had and how they affected those around you is a big step towards healing. By nature we all want to be happy and nothing grants happieness better than resolve. Your boyfriend and friends are sure to know that you are a great person for having humiliaty and being humbled to their feelings is a great way of showing that. I agree that some from of correspondence that is physical; a letter, card, or even flowers with a note is a sure way to show you care. Men do like flowers and it is never about the flower, it is about the message that the flowers convey. If in fact you want to rekindle the friendship and love you once had, let them know. Doing so is both a release for you and an invitation for them. But be sure to communicate openly and truthfully, it is sometimes painful but we are at our best when stripped of all the crap that keeps our heart from truley being happy and clarity sets in.