Quick dating question - 3rd "date"

[mfrankie1]

So. I met a guy online. He contacted me via Facebook through seeing my mutual friends and mutual interests. Was a bit cautious at first but we met up twice now and he's taken me to some quirky and cool pubs, hasn't pressured me to drink a lot but is somewhat touchy feely and complimentary. Not too pushy but I've been single nearly year and a half so it feels a little overwhelming. The 2nd date he kissed me and then said goodnight.

 

However, 3rd date this week he has suggested we go out again on a Friday night and do a similar thing - that involves drinking at a pub- and I'm a little put off. Drinking and conversation is fine but I feel like I need to see him in a different context and I'm worried he's just pushing to make me sleep with him.

 

So I wondered, who thinks by this point we should be going on a daytime (weekend) date or doing an activity in the evening as opposed to just chatting at the pub. I finish work so late we don't even get dinner as we've already eaten.

 

Then I read that this early in dates, weekdays is the done thing?? thanks Google! Someone share thoughts! I don't want to say no or even suggest drinking is boring but I don't know what to do?!

[JaggerJim]

What's your work schedule? Maybe he squeezes in drinks at the pub because it's so late and there is nothing left to do. When are you free?

[katrina1980]

I don't think the word "should" applies here, it's whatever two people want to do, whether it's a pub, movie, the zoo, a concert, whatever.

 

If you want a daytime date, why not you suggest it?

 

I'm sure he would appreciate it, men get bored with having to plan every single date all the time.

 

It's not like you asked him out, you're just making a suggestion as to what to do.

 

Re him wanting you to "sleep" with him, well yeah he probably does, that doesn't mean that is all he wants.

 

A man is attracted to you, he is going to want to have sex with you.

 

If you're not ready for that, then don't. Your body, your call.

 

I rather enjoy pubs myself.

 

I like splitting appetizers, the music, chatting, getting to know each other.

 

I like daytime dates too, but for first few dates, different pubs can be fun.

 

On one early date with the man I am dating now, we went to a pub and discovered they had bowling!

 

So after a couple of drinks and apps, we went bowling, super fun!

[mfrankie1]

What's your work schedule? Maybe he squeezes in drinks at the pub because it's so late and there is nothing left to do. When are you free?

 

I'm free some weekends, but work long weekdays so I'm in the best shape to stay out long but I feel like dating you shouldn't really spend it on something so precious as weekends or expect others to?

[mfrankie1]

I don't think the word "should" applies here, it's whatever two people want to do, whether it's a pub, movie, the zoo, a concert, whatever.

 

If you want a daytime date, why not you suggest it?

 

I'm sure he would appreciate it, men get bored with having to plan every single date all the time.

 

It's not like you asked him out, you're just making a suggestion as to what to do.

 

Re him wanting you to "sleep" with him, well yeah he probably does, that doesn't mean that is all he wants.

 

A man is attracted to you, he is going to want to have sex with you.

 

If you're not ready that, then don't.

 

I rather enjoy pubs myself.

 

I like splitting appetizers, the music, chatting, getting to know each other.

 

I like daytime dates too, but for first few dates, different pubs can be fun.

 

On one early date with the man I am dating now, we went to a pub and discovered they had bowling!

 

So after a couple of drinks and apps, we went bowling, super fun!

 

Yeah, see that sound so fun. I am happy to go to interesting pubs or something like evening bowling, I think that's better then getting steadily more tipsy and too handsy, too soon...

[JaggerJim]

Sorry not following. So your free some weekends but that's not the best time for dates? but you'd rather date in the week, but you finish so late?

[mfrankie1]

Sorry not following. So your free some weekends but that's not the best time for dates? but you'd rather date in the week, but you finish so late?

 

I think it is a good time for dates but when I discussed it with friends and looked online for advice, the advice seemed to be: don't spend your weekends on a 2nd or 3rd date, it should be more casual than that, they will think you have no life, it's too much like a couple already etc etc.

So then I'm thinking, well yeah maybe my weekends should stay for family and friends only.

[JaggerJim]

Oh wow. I'd stop looking at silly advice from the internet, and plan some dates with him on the weekend. You were kind of complaining a few seconds ago that you guys couldn't even grab dinner you finished so late, so why limit time with him to only late at night, when of course drinking and sex are going to come up more.

 

How old are you?

[katrina1980]

Yeah, see that sound so fun. I am happy to go to interesting pubs or something like evening bowling, I think that's better then getting steadily more tipsy and too handsy, too soon...

 

Do you like him? You don't sound all that happy about him to be honest.

 

If you feel his vibe is all about just getting you into bed, then either suggest things to do that won't lead to that, or stop seeing him.

 

For me, when really into a guy, frankly I don't care what we do.

 

I also trust his motives unless and until he proves me otherwise.

 

I don't automatically assume he's trying to have sex with me and that's it.

 

If I felt that way, I would stop seeing him.

[mfrankie1]

Cos he only suggested Friday or weekday nights so far, he said he was busy Sat/Sun. So I don't want to push it.

 

I'm 27.

[mfrankie1]

Yeah, I just am out of control more when I drink, also it makes me depressed and once I'm home alone I feel awful and sick so I try to avoid it. But everyone seems to drink while dating.

[Pleasedonot5]

So. I met a guy online. He contacted me via Facebook through seeing my mutual friends and mutual interests. Was a bit cautious at first but we met up twice now and he's taken me to some quirky and cool pubs, hasn't pressured me to drink a lot but is somewhat touchy feely and complimentary. Not too pushy but I've been single nearly year and a half so it feels a little overwhelming. The 2nd date he kissed me and then said goodnight.

 

However, 3rd date this week he has suggested we go out again on a Friday night and do a similar thing - that involves drinking at a pub- and I'm a little put off. Drinking and conversation is fine but I feel like I need to see him in a different context and I'm worried he's just pushing to make me sleep with him.

 

So I wondered, who thinks by this point we should be going on a daytime (weekend) date or doing an activity in the evening as opposed to just chatting at the pub. I finish work so late we don't even get dinner as we've already eaten.

 

Then I read that this early in dates, weekdays is the done thing?? thanks Google! Someone share thoughts! I don't want to say no or even suggest drinking is boring but I don't know what to do?!

Suggest an alternate date idea! Weekend daytime, suggest an activity. Men aren't mind-readers and so if you want something, you should shoot for it!

[mfrankie1]

I think I will if it progresses past this 3rd date!:subdued: