My new boyfriend has a close attractive female friend

[jujusamples]

I'm not sure if I'm too late responding but I had a similar situation in the past. Actually the last guy I dated before I met my husband.

 

He has this so called "best friend", I wasn't jealous of their relationship per se, but I was bothered at the fact that he talks about her ALL the time. He also spends a lot of time with her and constantly gloats about her. I thought something isn't right, but I just couldn't figure out what it is. I myself have more male friends than female friends, so I totally understand the male/female close friends dynamics. So no, it wasn't jealousy but something wasn't feeling right.

 

It actually bothered me at the time we dated (about 6 months) I just brushed it off and said it's all in my head. So here's the best part of this story; One day, he went on and on about his best friend, how she's very successful etc.. etc... and yes, he would prioritize his friend over me as well. I asked him, since him and his best friend get along so well, has he ever thought of dating her? He didn't answer my question, so I left it as that.

 

Fast forward a few days after that, he just broke up with me?! Yup, I had no idea why at the time. I asked him if we could talked about the breakup. He met up with me and gave me a long winded story of why he wanted to break and I had no idea what he's talking about (literally) NO IDEA! I just accepted it since that's what he wants and I"m not the type to beg or go any further if the person does not want to be with me.

 

Fast forward a few months later, I met this friend and yes, it's a small world, he knows my ex and his so called best friend. My new friend told me that my ex broke up with me because I found out that him and his so called best friend used to date and I got jealous?? I was like WTH??? I didn't even know that they dated let alone get jealous at the fact. I just know he talked about her 24/7! Yup, there are unfinished business as well between the two. Yup, my gut instinct was right, something just isn't right. Moral of the story, follow your instinct. It's a gamble and you are playing with fire. It's not too late to get out before more feelings are hurt. Your situation just sounds as complicated as mine. Not worth it!

 

The ex actually tried really hard to get back together with me a few months later, when he realized I didn't even know him and his ex dated. Anyways, I didn't give him the time of the day. Not worth. I will never ever date someone whom is THAT extremely close to their ex again! Well I didn't know they dated, but if it's that close (out of my comfort zone close) I try to stay away.

 

Sorry I didn't read the whole thread. I did go through some parts of the thread and apparently this guy isn't telling you about this friend? Either way, I really think you should follow your gut instinct.

[willdation]

I also have a LOT of extremely attractive female friends and my two closest friends do modelling and are much younger than my gf, so it definitely could make her jealous....

 

 

However, what works in my relationship is that I don’t hang out with them one on one and when we go out I always invite my girlfriend. It is really that simple...

[wandergrl18]

It's important to be forthcoming and open with your partner but 6 weeks is too soon.

[Giblesp]

I started dating this guy about 6 weeks ago. We usually see each other 2-3 times a week and he calls me on the phone every night. He seems super into me - basically a dream guy. Consistent, attentive, never canceled a date. We have also been exclusive since date 2. He made a big speech about not multi-dating and that it feels "just wrong" to date more than one person at once.

 

My problem is that he has a lot of female friends and one that he is particularly close to. They chat on whatsapp all day long. They also spend nearly a full day together every 2 weeks or so. They usually go hiking. It doesn't help that she is very attractive. They have known each other for 7 years. I went back some years on social media and have found lots of very flirty pictures of them. It's clear that they are/were attracted to each other. She is also not currently in a relationship.

 

I guess what upset me is that this weekend we had plans to do something (although didn't specify the day). He suddenly tells me that he is unavailable all day Saturday because he is going hiking with this friend. He didn't even ask me what my plans are first before making firm plans with this friend, almost like he is priorotizing her over me.

 

I know it's early days and I don't want to ruin this with being paranoid so any advice would be appreciated.

 

I also don't won't to invest myself more only to get hurt later.

 

Weekend is fri-sat so if you're going to meet on another one of those days no prob.

 

Its a case of if he's trustworthy and if you trust him. He might have no female friends as some men dont, and cheat anyway. We just dont know what will happen when getting to know someone. If hes had a thing with a person in the past but is friends now, that is also his business. He's either trustworthy and you trust him or not.

[Jibralta]

It's important to be forthcoming and open with your partner but 6 weeks is too soon.

 

I prefer “forthcoming and open“ at all stages of a relationship.