Fireman Posted October 29, 2017 Share Posted October 29, 2017 Ok, so... We've been together for more than a year, but "officially" we went exclusive and full relationship 9 months ago. Since that moment everything was perfect and she was truly, madly deeply in love with me, and so did I. We were filled with such happiness and we spent a lot of time together, but also with friends, I was there for her in a couple of tough moments for me and she supported me when I was down. Up until... 2 months ago I still looked at her on videocalls and she smiled and blushed, anyone could tell she was in love with me. But not only that, all this time we developed deep feelings for each other and had a deep connection, like we were "perfect". I know nobody is perfect, but he have many traits to make our relationship as perfect as possible, and one thing we valued the most was our honesty and communication. The thing is that she has problems back home, her parents really undermine her everyday and control her a lot, they started making a lot of arguments about her and the cellphone use, even though she's 18 and can decide for herself. She started Uni 2 months ago but then she started to lose time and struggle to put all her life in balance. I know that because I've been there and I'm still at Uni, until she snapped and became lost and confused. She showed me she had 17 chats and everyone asking time and wanting to spend time with her, at the same time we started spending less and less time. I tried to keep it cool and tried to reason with her that we needed to balance, that at least one time a week we should do something together. Exactly a month ago, she sent me an email really beautiful saying that she doesn't know anything for sure in life, except that she loves me and that she wants to be with me, that this "confusion" or whatever it is will pass and that we will be able to feel fine again. Awyway, things went downwards since then and I started to realize that this relationship was weighing her down in this exact period of her life, she told me she didn't feel comfortable and that she couldn't handle all the pressure. Last Wednesday we talked very serious about us. She told me again all of this, and that she wants to be as happy as the first months, and that she doesn't know why she's tired of everything and "the only reason that comes to her mind is that maybe she doesn't feel the same". Ok, I know this may be true, but I know she still cares, she still feels but she's just handling too many things at once. So we talked and decided to take a break, to have time for ourselves and to let things cool down and try to make things right (because many of our daily habits started to be hard to keep up). That being said, it's still sad, we ended saying each other goodbye for now, we agreed on No Contact except urgent stuff (and except to let the other now our packages arrived). We didn't set up a time limit and we agreed on not seeing other people (she told me she didn't wanted anyway because she needs time for herself). But my package for her arrived on Friday, 2 days after that, she contacted me, she was very thankful and said she cried a lot reading the letter and looking at photos that I sent her and that she thinks of me. I was taking my time to answer and being distant but at the same time loving, I told her not to cry, to be strong, that we just need time to make things right. We haven't spoken since, but I know for a fact she's sad, she added a couple of sad songs on our collaborative playlist on Spotify, and she's also been listening that kind of music. I want to make things right, I've been using this time for myself, I want us to be fine again. I know we spent too much energy and time on our relationship that later was difficult to change those habits. I know she still loves me and cares for me, and of course she's not as "euphoric" as months ago, but I blame the stress and my not-so-attractive behaviour of this last couple of months. We both hadn't had a really long relationsip and she may be confusing not being "in love" (being happy, everthing's pink) with "not feeling the same". That's why I think we really can make things work, and I can get her fall for me again... Also, she said she's going to send me the tracking number of my package (for my birthday, that she already bought weeks ago), aaaand she's probably texting me for my birthday. I don't know whether to answer her very short or just go with NC and ignore her. I don't know how long this break is going to take, but making a wild guess, things may settle down by mid-December, we both end our semesters and maybe we can think with a cold head. Before any of you ask it, I really think it's worth it, I know that may be others for her and me, but I want to give it a shot at this, it's something so beautiful to leave it behind just because 2 months weren't fine. I want to know what do you people think about this... what advice you may tell me. I'm asking myself a lot of questions these days and have been using the time for myself, I really want to make this work, even though she's in a hole so so deep she can't find a solution right now. (She suffers from depression, btw) Link to comment
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