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I bumped into him


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I hadn't seen him in about 6 weeks.

 

I actually bumped into him at the train station coming back from some work drinks, so luckily, i was quite mellow and tipsy. When he saw me, he stopped. I said hi. He didn't say a word, he just put his arms around me, and I hugged him back, and we stayed like that for a really really long time. It was very surreal. I then told him that I wished we could have talked after our last horrible exchange, wished we could have at least left things on good terms, wished we could have forgiven each other for everything. He told me that he wished he could have talked to me too, but that the reason he hasn't been in touch is because he felt that nothing he could say would help. And that we would never agree on how the relationship was and that we see things differently. I told him I agree that we saw things differently and we won't agree and that for the same reason i don't want to talk about the relationship anymore either. But I said that I did want to make peace. And he said he is sorry for everything and forgives me for everything and that it's not my fault that he wasn't a great boyfriend to me in the past couple of months. I said that I forgive him too. There was so much emotion between us, he was looking at me wistfully, I could see his eyes travelling across my face and hair. He told me that I looked wonderful after I joked that I wouldn't have seen him if I were wearing any makeup and looked remotely decent. He told me he just got a new job - he was looking for one for ages while we were together - i flung my arms around him saying congratulations (this is was partly probably me acting very merry from being tipsy), but afterwards I was deeply confused inside and hurt because it felt like (for that one split second) I was his girlfriend again. But then the realization suddenly hit that I'm not part of his life, nor his cheerleader anymore, made me sink into deep deep sadness afterwards. But that level of enthusiasm for him having a new job was a knee-jerk reaction. Seeing him made me miss him so much. It brought back all these loving feelings. The pain is unreal. It's so differently from simply seeing a photo. That doesn't seem to have much of an effect on me.

 

The good thing is that we left it on a good note, so I AM glad I ran into him. But wow. I wonder how one can walk away from love, like this. He can, so I should be able to. But it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. These feelings are overwhelming me today.

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Well, two people can love each other, but if there's problems with the relationship, you just can't be together. You didn't mention what happened to break you guys up, so I can't comment, but that's just the way life and love is.

 

what a bunch of bs. If two people love each other, they work things out. The only reason a couple should break up while they love each other (unless it's an abusive relationship) is when it becomes long distance. And even then that's very debatable.

 

This sounds like OP still loves him, but the ex doesn't love her back. Nothing else. There's no "oh well, you can love each other and things don't work out". That's just an excuse and far from the truth. If you love each other, you make it work.

 

I know, what a revolutionary thought.

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what a bunch of bs. If two people love each other, they work things out. The only reason a couple should break up while they love each other (unless it's an abusive relationship) is when it becomes long distance. And even then that's very debatable.

 

This sounds like OP still loves him, but the ex doesn't love her back. Nothing else. There's no "oh well, you can love each other and things don't work out". That's just an excuse and far from the truth. If you love each other, you make it work.

 

I know, what a revolutionary thought.

I respectfully disagree. I've had more than one experience where the relationship needed to end because we didn't bring out the best in each other or were on different paths. I didn't love them any less and I know they felt the same in return.

 

There are just those times in life when you just can't force a relationship to work, no matter how much you want to.

 

I learned to not stay until things get ugly and you end up hating each other. In some weird way it might be easier that way, but hard on your soul.

 

Leave in love. . .Sometimes it's just the mature thing to do.

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what a bunch of bs. If two people love each other, they work things out. The only reason a couple should break up while they love each other (unless it's an abusive relationship) is when it becomes long distance. And even then that's very debatable.

 

This sounds like OP still loves him, but the ex doesn't love her back. Nothing else. There's no "oh well, you can love each other and things don't work out". That's just an excuse and far from the truth. If you love each other, you make it work.

 

I know, what a revolutionary thought.

 

No, it can happen.. My last relationship have to end, because we don't want to hurt people we love (especially his family).. We know we love each other, but we know we also love our family.. they aren't rational.. but they're family anyway.. and we are in Asia.. when you get married, it's your big families get tied up..

 

you guys probably in wonder with me to know that my relationship end because our family is just like Capulet and Montague in Romeo and Juliet.. and we didn't know when we get to know each other.. there are millions people in the metropolist city we live, we didn't know why we bumped each other..

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what a bunch of bs. If two people love each other, they work things out. The only reason a couple should break up while they love each other (unless it's an abusive relationship) is when it becomes long distance. And even then that's very debatable.

 

This sounds like OP still loves him, but the ex doesn't love her back. Nothing else. There's no "oh well, you can love each other and things don't work out". That's just an excuse and far from the truth. If you love each other, you make it work.

 

I know, what a revolutionary thought.

That's a very immature and simplistic way of looking at things. Sometimes no amount of love changes the fact you're not good for each other, or there's too much negative to continue. It doesn't take away how much they mean to you, it just means that things weren't meant to work long term.

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