yamajii89 Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 alright so i courted this girl about a month ago and she rejected me and she said that she sees me as an older brother, so yeah that sucks jump a month later i decided to make a move, i secretly wrote an admiration letter to her and left it on her porch, the following day she went to my place to hang out, and once we head out for lunch, she randomly said " youre really good at drawing flowers. now im an artist and i drew a flower in that letter, and she gushed a little bit. a few hours later i had a talk to her best friend and he said she knows that it was me, because there was a line i wrote there that i keep on saying which was "smile before you open". i didnt deny that it was me but when she asked me that day i would just avoid it. jump another day later she went to my place again, we watched a movie as usual then we went shopping, i brought her some clothes, and took her to a pet cafe. she was happy, during that span of time she started giving me tips that i clearly needed. but the way she said it, it sounded like she was giving me a test. or kinda giving me a hint. she 1st we stumbled into the topic of "the friend zone" and she said "if a guy drastically takes action he would have a chance or even get out of my friendzone". 2nd she said, i should spend more time in the shower, that really turns me on" 3rd she said it turns me on when i come to a place then its really clean. since my place is always a mess. 4th she said that i dont like it when someone is obviously courting me upfront. then she said if someone was to give me a blue rose, id make him my BF. what ive done so far after she told me the 1st thing was write that letter. today i left a hug gable panda bare, on her door with another letter, anonymously written. keeping it low key and just now, ive cleaned my place from top to bottom. now my question is she only started telling me these things right after i sent that letter. does this mean she's giving me hint? maybe now im out of that zone? she spends 70% of her free time at my place. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 You and this girl need to have a real talk and stop dancing around in circles where neither knows what the other wants or needs. The confusion here is palpable. Link to comment
rosephase Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 today i left a hug gable panda bare, on her door with another letter, anonymously written. keeping it low key hahahahahahaha! "low key" How old are you? This sounds like high school stuff. My best advice? Don't spend money, energy and time on someone who need you to change yourself and play games in order to be with them. "if you turn yourself into someone I like" isn't not a "yes" to dating. She doesn't like you. She likes what you might turn into/ what you do for her. That kind of relationship will hollow you out in the long run. Link to comment
AtitAgain Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 "am i out of the friendzone?" No - you are in the chump zone. Doormat/foolish/beta zone. Please stop buying her gifts, writing letters, watching movies with her (unless you plan on making a move and making out with her/physical touching). Jesus, this is not High School stuff, it is kindergarten stuff.. it hurts to read it. Here, a book all guys should read. Carlos Zuma's Alpha Rules (or something like that) - P.S: I don't agree with everything in the book, but it should get you in the right mindset to not be a chump for the rest of your life. Link to comment
yamajii89 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 @AtiAgain, actually, im quite adept in the gaming world of women, its just this one problem that i have that im so beta, the buying gifts stuff is in my culture, you wouldnt understand. Link to comment
DanZee Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 It sounds like she's getting ready to lead you around like a dog. She's a taker and not a giver. I know Philippine girls are different from Western girls, but she's hen-pecking you before you are even in a relationship with her. Link to comment
AtitAgain Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Its not about gaming, it is about a mindset. I don't really agree with gaming. Gaming means that you follow a set of rules to achieve an objective. So long as you follow the rules, odds are you win the game. But just getting the girl to like you/have sex with you/ whatever is not even close to enough. If you want a meaningful relationship with a girl that loves you, you need to have the right mindset and attitude that attracts that type of love. And this is why I am saying that you need to fix your mindset/attitude. Being beta/alpha/whatever, is just about attitude/mindset. It is all in your mind. TLDR: You can't game a woman forever. You can't game your wife/long term girlfriend. But you can have the attitude that she will love and respect. Link to comment
yamajii89 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 @AtiAgain, thanks that helps its a problem of mine, when i really like someone i cling along, but on a side note i am seeing a few women in my area in the same time, its just taht she hangs in my place too much, Link to comment
DancingFool Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 2nd she said, i should spend more time in the shower, that really turns me on" OK, so basically she is telling you that she won't date a guy with bad personal hygiene - can't fault her for that and that's pretty blunt, but seriously dude, no woman should need to tell you to shower, you should be doing that for yourself. 3rd she said it turns me on when i come to a place then its really clean. since my place is always a mess. OK, so she is bluntly telling you that she isn't interested in a guy who lives like a filthy pig - can't fault her for that either and again, dude, you should be clean for your own sake not just dating. 4th she said that i dont like it when someone is obviously courting me upfront. She is telling you point blank that she doesn't like pushiness and over the top romantic gestures and there you go putting gifts on her porch....again....come on man. Take care of the first two things for your own sake and then see if she takes a better interest in you before you even consider anything else. Link to comment
AtitAgain Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 And yes, as DancingFool said... there is no excuse for bad hygiene. Man I get it, keeping things neat and tidy is a pain in the butt. But if you are bringing a girl home... come on man. It better be clean and smelling good. You want her to feel relaxed / happy there. Not like "uhhh eeeww gross, don't wanna touch this". Bad personal hygiene in general is the quickest way to turn a girl off... Think about it ... would you want a dirty penis inside of you? Stuff that you don't even know if its been washed in days? Link to comment
DancingFool Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 And yes, as DancingFool said... there is no excuse for bad hygiene. Man I get it, keeping things neat and tidy is a pain in the butt. But if you are bringing a girl home... come on man. It better be clean and smelling good. You want her to feel relaxed / happy there. Not like "uhhh eeeww gross, don't wanna touch this". Bad personal hygiene in general is the quickest way to turn a girl off... Think about it ... would you want a dirty penis inside of you? Stuff that you don't even know if its been washed in days? Understatement of the century. Back in college I went out on a couple of dates with this super hot guy, then he invited me to his place. I was on cloud nine.....until I saw his place.....it was just gross and wow, I was so instantly done and out of there. In my eyes he went from hot to gross in a nanosecond. Like there was no way I was going to deal with someone who can live in that kind of filth and if he lives like that....who knows unknown life forms are breeding on him too....just yuck yuck yuck. If a woman looks at you or your place and thinks, "I need a hazmat suit and disinfectant", it's not going to happen for you. Link to comment
willdation Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 How old are ya? You do realize that every time you are buying her gifts when you are not officially together you are just putting yourself in the category of a man-servant / male girlfriend???? Next thing you know she will be calling ya to unclog the toilet after her boyfriend broke it Anyway, you did manage to get her over to your place, so at least that is a start....just save all those love letters for a girlfriend....unless you know 100% she is into ya..... I dunno...why not check out some old holywood films like with Carey Grant or Steve McQueen? now those are real men..you don't see them chasing around buying gifts for girls that aren't into them....quite the opposite actually.... Link to comment
yamajii89 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 @AtitAgain, yeah i get that, thanks i actually have personal hygiene, this i dont get, she said i dont shower long enough, but its so simple, just soap + shampoo sometimes conditioner, tooth brush then done? am i missing something? of course theres the deodorant and stuff but yeah. no excuse on my house though ive tidy up Link to comment
DancingFool Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 @AtitAgain, yeah i get that, thanks i actually have personal hygiene, this i dont get, she said i dont shower long enough, but its so simple, just soap + shampoo sometimes conditioner, tooth brush then done? am i missing something? of course theres the deodorant and stuff but yeah. no excuse on my house though ive tidy up A dirty living space, wrinkled or dirty clothes, clothes lying around not put away - all these things can make it seem like you yourself must be dirty too in another person's eyes. Link to comment
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