Lindblur Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 Hello, This is my first post here because I've been really having a hard-time in my relationship lately. Not because of fights, miscommunication or anything like that but it's because me and my Girlfriend that I absolutely love dearly and want to spend the rest of life with seems like she doesn't want to compromise. This problem is arising because of career/moving living circumstances. We have been dating 3 years now and everything has been great. I am 29 and she is 26; We have been living long distance for about a year and a half of our relationship we travel to go see each other often and talk all the time and have really good communication. She is currently living in NY/CT While I have recently moved back home to Ohio from California and have been living back here for about 9 months now. She is in the Museum industry ( Museum Education to be exact. ) and I am an artist who works on Video Games, Cartoons as a Character Designer; Freelance at the moment. But the problem is arising that when we first met in Ohio I asked her would she be ok living just about anywhere else in the United States just for the potential sake that we find jobs and opportunities in other places, she said yes. But, recently, she has told me otherwise and is saying she doesn't want to live anywhere other than on that side of the United States. Which I find to be kind of a problem since she hasn't even been to many states in the US while I've traveled for events and work and have been to 39 of the 50 states for extended periods of time and I have seen how much is out there in the world for opportunity everywhere. She has been being very stubborn about it and saying she doesn't want to leave that coast at all. Mainly because as she was growing up, it's the only places her and her family have ever traveled to is East Coast states. ( Mass, CT, NY, Washington etc. ) She hasn't even been anywhere else in the US. But she is just being very stubborn about not working with me and not compromising so that we can find a place to move together and be together and grow together even more so than we already have. I have already explained to her that I am open to going anywhere we can go together and both find steady and strong work. Now when it comes to my Industry it is more centralized in West Coast states ( At least from the standpoint of what I do. ) . Yes I can find work and opportunities everywhere but the majority of them are going to come and be on that side of the US. There are literally little to no opportunities for me and what I do on the East Coast. While there are Opportunities for both of us on the West Coast. I try and spend time explaining to her that there are opportunities for what she is doing in several more places and states than there is for me. But she just doesn't want to hear it and just keeps having tunnel vision for over on East Coast. So much so that I even asked her if another state offered her a salaried position in another state away from East Coast would she take it and she said no. Which upset me alot because I know for a fact if I get offered a solid position somewhere I am going to take it and accept the opportunity. It bothered me so much that I even said to her well if you don't want to work with me then we may have to break up and it hurt me really bad to hear myself say that... She even started to cry really bad because she doesn't want to break up with and I don't want to break up with her we fit very well together. This whole situation has been causing us alot of arguments lately that we've never really had so much so that I'm just saying eff it... I'll just move over to that side of the coast even it means me having a hard time to make her happy. Because I can't make her understand or get it through to her that there are opportunities everywhere and life never ever works out the way you expect. You will always be thrown curveballs and you need to adapt to the curveballs as they come to you. She then suggest moving over here for a bit, then moving somewhere else. But as Im thinking about that it is an option but it is a very expensive option. She firmly believes that the East Coast is the only place she can find work and opportunity. ( Which isn't true at all. ) I'm literally just out of options and not sure what I should do or say to her to make her understand or hear what I am trying to say. I really don't want to lose her, we work so well together and shes the only girl I've dated that I could see myself having a family with and spending the rest of my life with. I am also her first serious relationship. She had one joke relationship that only went on for a month but she feels exactly the same way about me that I feel about her. I just cannot really see myself being with anyone else. I don't even have interest in other women because I am just so in love with her. That this situation happens really sucks and bothers alot. I am just lost on what to do I really hope I gave as much and enough detail that I could about the situation and maybe someone out there can maybe give me some suggestions or ideas that I didn't think of. This conversation has been going on for a few weeks now and it just always causes tension... Thank you all so much in advance! Link to comment
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