PHENOMENOL Posted September 27, 2017 Share Posted September 27, 2017 Hello, I'm struggling. My boyfriend and I been together for 3year ..... My boyfriend just confessed that he was sexually attracted to his ex girlfriend that he supposed loved ........but when we closely completed one year together and he was half way in already finishing school in college, I found out she was in his same class for 2 hours.... after this I started to notice he would stalk her on social media and I asked him to stop but stop but continued to do it hidden.... also I notice he would try to catch her attention or would stare and try to not make it award when being around me....and after 3yrs. I found out he made a fake social media and sent a request......when I confronted him about it ... ....he said it was to show his friend over text because he had her block and didn't want to unblock her. but I truly think he is lying and if he was not lying , he shouldn't have done it anyways. knowing how awful I feel when he mentions or stalks her......... and now I'm here asking for advise.......and she broke up with him....... What do you guys think about this situation.... I feel like if I continue I will regret it. but I truly love him and I know he has love for me and shows it very well but does those thing and .....its confusing..... im already don't feel like having sex at times. but I do still love and care for this guy....but its very annoying Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted September 27, 2017 Share Posted September 27, 2017 He's still into his ex and lying to you about it. You've asked him to stop playing little games to get to her and he lies about it and continues. You don't leave and there are no consequences for his behavior so it sort of makes that he doesn't stop. Why would he? Personally, I wouldn't trust him and I'd leave the relationship. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted September 27, 2017 Share Posted September 27, 2017 If given the chance. He would have sex with ex again. You should find somebody that is 100% committed to you. Not 50/50 with some other girl. Actions speak louder than words. Link to comment
PHENOMENOL Posted September 28, 2017 Author Share Posted September 28, 2017 It's very confusing at the same time because we are always together & he can't be a day without me & when we together we like best bestfriend\ lovers...... but than he does these actions, that when it just throws me off...and that when it get soo confusing Link to comment
PHENOMENOL Posted September 28, 2017 Author Share Posted September 28, 2017 It's very confusing at the same time because we are always together & he can't be a day without me & when we together we like best bestfriend\ lovers...... but than he does these actions, that when it just throws me off...and that when it get soo confusing Link to comment
ShatteredMan Posted October 2, 2017 Share Posted October 2, 2017 Why would you tolerate this behavior? He's emotionally cheating on you with his ex, essentially. This guy needs help if he's actually stalking her. He may be doing more than just looking at her pics online, especially if its been going on for three years. It sounds like he's got an OCD issue possibly and probably "stalks" her online in order to tell himself that she's still available, which continues either a false hope of reconciliation or idea of having her as a backup if (or when) your relationship fails. Link to comment
PHENOMENOL Posted October 5, 2017 Author Share Posted October 5, 2017 Why would you tolerate this behavior? He's emotionally cheating on you with his ex, essentially. This guy needs help if he's actually stalking her. He may be doing more than just looking at her pics online, especially if its been going on for three years. It sounds like he's got an OCD issue possibly and probably "stalks" her online in order to tell himself that she's still available, which continues either a false hope of reconciliation or idea of having her as a backup if (or when) your relationship fails. What do you exactly mean of OCD ? Link to comment
Pretzel Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 I think its exactly right that he won't stop because there are no consequences for him continuing... it's wrong, but he knows you'll forgive him so he doesn't have enough motivation to stop. So he wants to have his cake and eat it, essentially by pursuing his ex unhealthily & also having you. He has this 'itch' to scratch by checking up on his ex. If you put your foot down or leave then he'll be forced to make a choice to either respect you and fight for the relationship OR decide to let you go and face the fact that he can't let go of his ex and is not over it. Link to comment
PHENOMENOL Posted October 6, 2017 Author Share Posted October 6, 2017 This actually made sense. Link to comment
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