Getting married in 7 months and our relationship has never been worse

[Leafyruin17]

Myself and my partner are getting married in 7 months time and we just aren't getting on well at all. The last month has probably been the worst in our entirety 4 years relationship. Everything I say or do is wrong and I feel like I'm criticised and put down constantly. I have always had trouble with my feelings and being able to open up to people and he uses this against me constantly.

He is a very moody man, which he openly admits, but I find it hard to cope with and often bite back which just makes things ten times worse.

This last month we have barely spoken, I've been in tears every day!

The biggest problem for me is that we are getting married in Greece and all our family and friends (around 80 people) have booked and paid for their flights and accommodation. I would just be mortified to have to call it off and let so many people down.

My partner has talked about couples therapy but I'm not sure.

Has anyone had any similar issues and it's worked through couples therapy or a specific type of counselling?

Any genuine advice would be appreciated!

[thealchemist]

Well not wanting to upset others is a terrible reason to go through with a wedding.

 

Why are you so opposed to couples counseling?

 

The fact that he actually has proposed it puts you much better off than most the people looking for help here. The fact that he is willing to work to improve your relationship is at least a great sign.

[Seraphim]

Well you can be embarrassed or you can live in misery take your pick. Personally I would take embarrassed . All these other people don't have to live your life .

 

Therapy works only if both people work at it .

[Starlight925]

Trust me when I say, there is no worse feeling in the world than walking down the aisle, knowing you're making a mistake. BTDT.

 

You absolutely must, at least, get into couples counseling, and you need to make a decision within a month or so, to let everyone know. There is no sin in postponing a wedding. Or changing it from a destination wedding to a local one at a later time. But the pain you will feel if you marry and don't resolve your issues, and thus get divorced....it doesn't get much worse.

 

Pulling for you.

[Hollyj]

You need to get the counseling. Why are you opposed to it?

[Leafyruin17]

You need to get the counseling. Why are you opposed to it?

 

I'm not against it at all! Just wanting some advice on whether people have succeeded with counselling.

[Hollyj]

He suggested it. Why are you not sure?

 

You don't get married just to prevent embarrassment. I think that a divorce six months down the road, would be much more embarrassing.

 

Deal with you sh&t and get the counseling.

[Unreasonable]

I'm not against it at all! Just wanting some advice on whether people have succeeded with counselling.

It's not voodoo. Couple's counseling is a huge industry and wouldn't be if no one benefited from it. And, anecdotally, yes, I have benefited from it. Definitely go, I absolutely wouldn't get married without it in your situation.

[Fudgie]

Speaking personally, if I had everything booked to go to a loved one's wedding and they told me what you just wrote here....I'd rather that they cancel sooner than later. Don't go through a wedding/marriage just because they don't want to inconvenience me. That's awful. Anyone who loves you would not want you to do that. If they do, they don't really care about you.

[Snny]

It is common for couples to be supper stressed out before a wedding and have some fights. There were a few in mine. But you really need to take a step back and evaluate if this is resulted from stress OR a personality change.

 

In my experience, couples counseling has not worked. I can't speak for everyone else except for myself and from what others have told me. However, with your given situation it's better than nothing and it's important to at least try.