Is there a chance at getting her back?

[Mizerys_Company]

My girlfriend of a year and three months recently broke up with me.

Right now it is understandable for me to be going off the wall with frusteration and torture of thoughts without her. I called her a day after the break up and asked to meet her for coffee so that we could talk some more about her decision. Let me give you a recap of how it got to this state.

In the time her and I had together there was nothing but happy times, and of course the occasional argument. As time progressed, so did some bumps in the road. Over a period of time, three different guys put moves on her. (these guys know who I am, two of them "friends" and one an ex-co-worker) (By the way, this was them putting moves on her, and her not agreeing to them in any way) So obviously they knew I was with her, and everyone I met heard about how much she means to me. She told me about each time, and each time I went to confront these guys and they all poured the truth out to me, regreting their mistakes and asking for my appologies. Now understandably after going through that three times, I got a bit paranoid each time she said she was going to hang out with some friends. I developed a protective instinct over her, and shared with her that I was very uncomfortable with her hanging around other guys when I was not present. This went on for quite some time and eventually she began to view me as a controlling and over-protective boyfriend. I explained to her why I feel the way I do when she mentions hanging out with other guys, and that I trust her 100%, just not other men. I began to drop the whole paranoid bid, and eventually did...unfortunately it was too late and she gave me the dreaded phone call that all men fear. "I think we should break up." Those words tore through me like a knife through hot butter. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her, let alone the thought of her with other guys. Now, back to our meeting at coffee. We decided that me being "controlling" was not a factor, and that her and I never really became friends before dating. (which was true) So for now her and I are working on our friendship before jumping back to eachother...but, here's another thing. She told me that she would like to see other people. Wow...what a blow. I'm sorry, but that really made me feel uncomfortable when she told me that. But anyways, right now we hang out and are working on our friendship. I am 20 and she is 18, so I guess maybe at her age she doesn't want to be tied down just yet. But what I really want to know from what I have given you guys is, do you think she will come back to me after realizing that her and I can be friends in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

[bryan]

Hey, you're definitely not alone! I just made a post about my breakup. The advice from people on here is awesome to say the least though. Sorry I cant help, but maybe just knowing that you arent the only one going through this may help you. Maybe someone out there can offer some advice for you and me! I am starting to realize that if a girl has a wondering eye, what is going to stop her from doing it again? Even though I want to get back together with my ex, I know that we would go throught the exact same crap as before we broke up. I cant give my heart to someone knowing that the other person doesnt want to give the same effort. Think about, do you want to give your heart to someone who cant do the same for you? Do you want to constantly worry about what she is doing when you are not around?

[Mizerys_Company]

It's definitely not that I worry about what she is doing. It's the men that hang around with her. I don't trust other guys. She has pushed all three of these guys away when they tried something, but the point is that they did try something with her, knowing full well that I was with her. That's what got me paranoid. It was not her, it was them. But I've gotten over that already.

[Mizerys_Company]

Does anyone else have some advice for me? I would like to know if she would get back with me after realizing that her and I can be friends in a boyfriend/girfriend relationship. Please refer to my original msg.

Thanks a lot.

[Heretic]

I think what you need to do is relax and let go. She might later want to be in a relationship with you but not right now. Getting to know her as a friend is a good move but it doesn't you're going to get back together. I suggest you drop the alterior motives and just be her friend. If she wants to get back together she'll let you know, however I don't think she will. She's still young and will probably want to stay single for a while.

 

Good Luck.

[Mizerys_Company]

I called her today, and even though it was only a three minute "How was your day?" convo....just the sound of her voice made me feel so much better. Better than usual. Her and I have a trip to a theme park planned to better our friendship...and hopefully one day she will see that we can be friends, and uphold a friendship as a couple. I dunno...what does anyone else think?

Can anyone tell me why I thought her voice sounded more amazing than I had ever thought before? This is too weird...almost tells me something.

[Heretic]

That's just your heart talking. You still miss her so it's going to try and make you notice her as much as possible. You'll ignore it for now if you know what's best for ya.

 

Oh and congrats on the date. Good move.

[Mizerys_Company]

I have an update on my situation, and I would appreciate anyone's thoughts on this...women especially.

I went to go pick her up last night from her cousins house. She got in the car, and I didn't feel like driving so I let her drive. When I got out and started my way towards the passenger side, she stopped...said my name, looked at me, and kissed me. This was no ordinary peck, either. It was a kiss. I looked at her and asked why she did that. She said, "I've missed kissing you." So I got in the car, looked at her and asked, "Is it ok for another one?" She nodded her head and we kissed again. After she looked at me and said, "Now this doesn't mean we're back together. I missed kissing you...a lot." I was stumped. Why did she kiss me? Other than she said she missed kissing me. There has to be more to it. Any opinions? Thanks guys.

[Justaguy21]

Wow, well she obviously still loves you deeply. Man, she probably realized how awesome of a guy you are and her decision to break up. See what happens is she probably dosnt want to admit she's wrong so she is like implicilty telling you by giving you that kiss but beware though...she is still confused and just make sure if you guys decide to get back to really talk about things with her because you don't want to have to walk through a relationship where you feel it's like a bubble wrap floor. Just don't jump back into it too soon and make sure you guys really talk it out. Good luck bro, I hope this helps a little. My ex and I are going to lunch tomorow and I havn't see her in a 5 weeka, we will see how things go, wish me luck. Take care,

-me

 

Also, I was going to say that she most likely said this dosn't mean you guys are back because she dosn't want you to think she just wants to get right back with you but I think she does. It feels like she wants you to think of her as being independet and not needing you. Keep doing what your doing and I'm sure it will all work out, hopefully.

[caliboy]

i went through the same thing with my ex. we saw each other, kissed, flirted, even got a room together at a hotel (cuddled and stuff, no fooling around) - it was awesome (but painful cause i wanted her). she told me she wants to take things slow. thats what your ex is doing too. dont push her and just go at her pace. if its gonna happen, it'll be because you two'll slip back into it and not rush it.