"The worst thing in the world is when you love someone.

[Penn]

...and they don't know it".

 

is what they say.

 

Hi

 

I'm in the 11th grade, and haven't really been big on the whole dating thing before, but there's this girl that I really like and want to ask her out….but there's a problem (isn't there always ??)

 

She doesn't seem to be interested in me….at all. I think about her all the time, I go to school everyday just so I can be near her….I get nervous/excited every time I'm about to see her. I only have 2 classes with her a week, so not a lot of interaction unfortunately. We're sort-of friends you can say…but nothing past the "Hi, how are you today ?" basics. She's highly sociable and has many friends, while I'm more of the quiet type and keep to myself mostly. I don't know how to break into her social circle, or whatever it's called. I try to start conversations with her…she smiles (well she smiles to everyone, one of the things I love about her ) replies something short and goes back to talking with her friends.

 

I'm not good-looking, I'm not the best at conversations, especially with girls. Which severely decreases the little chances I had. But I like her so much that I was willing to just give it a go, ask her out, and whatever happens - happens. Yesterday I finally gained the courage to do it…..but she skipped our class. Today, same thing. (It's French class and most people skip it anyway lol I would too if it wasn't for the chance of seeing her). I was really, really down today cause what is this saying ? I think about her 24/7, get nervous and torment myself to death trying to gain the courage to ask her out….and she's not even interested enough to spend 1 class a week with me. Not that she has a reason to…but still. It hurt. Bad. So now I'm re-thinking the whole thing. She obviously has no interest in me, I can't break into her social circle, and even if somehow I got a date with her I really don't think I will interest her at all. I'll probably bore her and ruin any little chances I had. I'm just not the dating-type. The smart thing to do would be to forget the whole thing and not make myself look like an idiot…..but dammit I REALLY like her. I want this so bad… I haven't had a problem with it before, but don't want to be alone anymore, you know ? This girl is my dream girl….I'd treat her like a queen….if only I had the chance….But you see my problem….there's no hope. What to do ?

[easyguy]

I know how you feel, bro. The best thing to do is talk to more girls (even if you're not interested in them) and not settle for just one girl, especially in high school. Life is too busy (for most) in high school to try and "settle" for one girl. Just practice TALKING TO OTHER GIRLS.

 

I'm in the same situation. This crush of mine is very sociable with her circle of friends. We never talk that much, and if it is, it's brief, like "Hey, how's things?". I'm not the most sociable person around, but have been trying to converse with more girls lately at school by a boost in confidence. Even girls you don't want to be with (it is nice having just plain friends, too), just getting used to CONVERSING with a girl is your goal. It gets easier the more you do it. Practice is all it takes... and confidence, among other things (though confidence is most important).

 

Take small steps!

 

Just my 2 cents.

 

Oh, and treating her like a queen all the time wouldn't be the wisest thing to do. Girls don't usually like it when guys kiss up to them all the time.

[BYOB]

Eat a blend up of food, you'll know what it tastes.

People will get to know anyhow that you've tasted it one day but anyway, everybody has the right to eat its own way.

What is the risk though is: you never know if it's gonna taste good or not ! That's just the spirit.

 

Now taste anything new, you'll know what it's like. Yet your first right is to choose to act or not.

[Unmotivated]

I can relate to you in many ways. I know how it feels to have a crush on a girl who doesn't even know it and not have the courage to talk to her.

 

My advise to you is to forget about her, man. Like you said, she's probably not interested in you. I'm not saying that you shouldn't give it one last serious effort, but after that move on.

 

A friend of mine has been obsessed with a girl from High School and he graduated four years ago. She isn't interested because he's not of the same religion, but he still obsesses about her. It is so bad that he never really "loves" any of the girlfriends he has had. My friend tried to commit suicide a few days ago and this was one of the reasons.

 

It's not healthy to be obsessed with someone who isn't interested in you. There really isn't anything good that will come of it.

 

Instead, you need to improve your social skills and self-confidence. Don't worry about your looks. Get to the point where you can talk to girls you're attracted to. Keep an eye out for signals from the opposite sex and when you see one, don't wait! Spring on the opportunity and talk to her.

 

It's harsh, but it's the way it works. You can't make someone like you. Relationships are two-way things, and if she's the interested, you're just hurting yourself.

 

Good luck, man.

[eddie500]

Dude, I gotta give you a lot of credit to have the balls to ask this girl out.

 

If you do have the balls to ask the girl out.. I'm suprsied that you can't break into her social circles.

 

Honestly just ask her out, at least you will know if you have a chance or not and can move on.

[koeka]

Dear Penn,

If I was you I would not take a direct approach. Being humble is a good thing. If you risk a lot you can loose a lot. I would suggest if you know one of her friends you would try and talk to one of them first. Ask her(better if it is a she) if she could find out for you how she thinks of you, if she would respect you which I believe she would. This way you have a non-confronting approach which also keeps the matter out of your face if you wish to have it that way.

Always be very cautious because girls are very fragile.

Hope I could help.

[eddie500]

girls are very fragile

 

Men are probably more fragile when it comes to dating and romance.