Heartbroken.. Seeking advice to help me move on?

[Schockobaerin]

Reading this thread I'm almost a little jealous of those of you having trouble keeping NC. Where you're liking each other's fb posts and both breaking NC every once in a while. I'm sure it's painful and making it difficult to move on, but at least you both know there was something there.

 

We practically lived together and now I will probably never see or speak to him again. We took exotic vacations together, went on adventures together, attended funerals, weddings, and slept at hospitals together for weeks in times of need. We were discussing my ring, our wedding, the house we were saving for, investments, health insurance changes, etc. Then he just packed my stuff up. Our only reason for follow-up contact was to get his key back. Now that his key has been returned we have said goodbye forever. It was all just a dream.

 

At least you had that.. I didnt have the chance(he didnt let me).. and Im being ignored as well, so we are on the same boat dear

[Woah93]

Well just got another message with a song at 2 AM, "just wanted to share I duno, and just wanted to say it even though its through message but:

 

It seems like things have shifted and her interest is back... 3 days ago there was no hope. I'm sorta overwhelmed at the moment, still am very careful though, but I will probably stop posting here about the positive thingies because I don't want you to feel worse I just am with all of you in my thoughts and you helped me so much, I may be back here in a while when things turn south but I hope it will work out, I really have my fingers crossed for all of you as well that you either are able to work things out with your ex or find someone so much better

[Queenmarie24]

Honestly, time heals all wounds and one day your going to look back and say to yourself why did I cry over him? He wasn't worth my tears. You deserve better. And one day you will find that better. Just try to stay strong and continue talking to the support you have.

[Helpmesavethis]

Well just got another message with a song at 2 AM, "just wanted to share I duno, and just wanted to say it even though its through message but:

 

It seems like things have shifted and her interest is back... 3 days ago there was no hope. I'm sorta overwhelmed at the moment, still am very careful though, but I will probably stop posting here about the positive thingies because I don't want you to feel worse I just am with all of you in my thoughts and you helped me so much, I may be back here in a while when things turn south but I hope it will work out, I really have my fingers crossed for all of you as well that you either are able to work things out with your ex or find someone so much better

 

I think it's great you're able to hopefully work things out. Don't feel like you can't still share with us. But I am jealous. Hahaha. It's all good though.

[Helpmesavethis]

Honestly, time heals all wounds and one day your going to look back and say to yourself why did I cry over him? He wasn't worth my tears. You deserve better. And one day you will find that better. Just try to stay strong and continue talking to the support you have.

 

I couldn't agree with you more. I know all of this. It just hurts right now until that time comes. I just wish it would get here sooner than later. Thank you.

[Queenmarie24]

I know what you mean!

[Mandala]

Well just got another message with a song at 2 AM, "just wanted to share I duno, and just wanted to say it even though its through message but:

 

It seems like things have shifted and her interest is back... 3 days ago there was no hope. I'm sorta overwhelmed at the moment, still am very careful though, but I will probably stop posting here about the positive thingies because I don't want you to feel worse I just am with all of you in my thoughts and you helped me so much, I may be back here in a while when things turn south but I hope it will work out, I really have my fingers crossed for all of you as well that you either are able to work things out with your ex or find someone so much better

 

I'm truly, truly happy for you! I actually would like to hear more about your happy ending, please keep us posted. Plus, you have the best tips for us since NC worked for you! Don't abandon us!

How long did your NC last in total?

[Helpmesavethis]

Don't really know how to explain what I'm feeling. I think numb, maybe in denial, I don't know. I'm not breaking down crying. I'm not really sure. I just feel blah... Like I know it's over.. maybe I've accepted it?!?! Still hurts like hell and I wish he would just leave my mind.. literally everything reminds me of him in some way...

[Mandala]

Don't really know how to explain what I'm feeling. I think numb, maybe in denial, I don't know. I'm not breaking down crying. I'm not really sure. I just feel blah... Like I know it's over.. maybe I've accepted it?!?! Still hurts like hell and I wish he would just leave my mind.. literally everything reminds me of him in some way...

 

I'm sorry it's a bad day for you. It is hard. Maybe you should let those tears out though, it can be liberating... Then readjust your crown and go on with the day. Don't be harsh on yourself. A step after the other. ❤️

[Helpmesavethis]

I'm sorry it's a bad day for you. It is hard. Maybe you should let those tears out though, it can be liberating... Then readjust your crown and go on with the day. Don't be harsh on yourself. A step after the other. ❤️

 

I'm ok... Just feeling different...... Not good but better than sitting here questioning everything... Now I just keep fantasizing that he'll call and what I would say or how I would act.... Or if he messages me, I won't reply right away... Things like that. I'm stronger, just still sad and missing him...

[Mandala]

I'm glad you are stronger. It can only get better! ❤️

[Woah93]

Well so last night she was still messaging me, kind of the way I messaged her in the past, but never clear about getting back together. Then she was like "oh im sorry, well goodnight!" and I said "goodnight." after, I accidently left the spacebar one tick, and she thought I was typing all the time. She said "Well this is a long message, I will read it in the morning Night night" basically being cold again. I replied that I didn't know what she was talking about, then noticed and mentioned what happened, after which she called me again and explained how much she missed me for 30 minutes while she was in bed.

 

It kind of was an eye opener to me that she really is playing games, when she thought I was taking in the effort to type a long message, she was ready to cut the conversation short and leave me hanging, as soon as she realized I didn't care and just left the space-bar open she called me and professed her love to me.

 

I'm thinking now that these really were breadcrumbs, it's incredible to see these little details that show who someone really is.

[Helpmesavethis]

Well so last night she was still messaging me, kind of the way I messaged her in the past, but never clear about getting back together. Then she was like "oh im sorry, well goodnight!" and I said "goodnight." after, I accidently left the spacebar one tick, and she thought I was typing all the time. She said "Well this is a long message, I will read it in the morning Night night" basically being cold again. I replied that I didn't know what she was talking about, then noticed and mentioned what happened, after which she called me again and explained how much she missed me for 30 minutes while she was in bed.

 

It kind of was an eye opener to me that she really is playing games, when she thought I was taking in the effort to type a long message, she was ready to cut the conversation short and leave me hanging, as soon as she realized I didn't care and just left the space-bar open she called me and professed her love to me.

 

I'm thinking now that these really were breadcrumbs, it's incredible to see these little details that show who someone really is.

 

Oh no. I'm so sorry. This is what I personally could not handle.. back and forth.. I don't see how those doing it, are. It's either we're going to work things out or we're not. So as envious as I may be that you guys have been talking, I think I'm better off as things are in my situation. So so sorry for you.

[Woah93]

To me it is helping me move on because every time, my idealism and high opinion of her is broken down a little bit further, and I start thinking to myself "do I actually want to be with a person like this?"

[Woah93]

She sent me 3 songs later too.

 

Didn't say anything.

I sent her this in response

 

[video=youtube;32GZ3suxRn4] ]

 

"It's not a silly little moment

It's not the storm before the calm

This is the deep and dyin' breath of

This love we've been workin' on

 

Can't seem to hold you like I want to

So I can feel you in my arms

Nobody's gonna come and save you

We pulled too many false alarms

 

We're goin' down

And you can see it too

We're goin' down

And you know that we're doomed

 

My dear

We're slow dancing in a burnin' room"

 

...

[Mandala]

She sent me 3 songs later too.

 

Didn't say anything.

I sent her this in response

 

[video=youtube;32GZ3suxRn4] ]

 

"It's not a silly little moment

It's not the storm before the calm

This is the deep and dyin' breath of

This love we've been workin' on

 

Can't seem to hold you like I want to

So I can feel you in my arms

Nobody's gonna come and save you

We pulled too many false alarms

 

We're goin' down

And you can see it too

We're goin' down

And you know that we're doomed

 

My dear

We're slow dancing in a burnin' room"

 

...

 

Oh wow... well, that's a pretty clear message.

[Mandala]

Guys, please read the update in my thread, I really need your opinion!

[Mandala]

Well so last night she was still messaging me, kind of the way I messaged her in the past, but never clear about getting back together. Then she was like "oh im sorry, well goodnight!" and I said "goodnight." after, I accidently left the spacebar one tick, and she thought I was typing all the time. She said "Well this is a long message, I will read it in the morning Night night" basically being cold again. I replied that I didn't know what she was talking about, then noticed and mentioned what happened, after which she called me again and explained how much she missed me for 30 minutes while she was in bed.

 

It kind of was an eye opener to me that she really is playing games, when she thought I was taking in the effort to type a long message, she was ready to cut the conversation short and leave me hanging, as soon as she realized I didn't care and just left the space-bar open she called me and professed her love to me.

 

I'm thinking now that these really were breadcrumbs, it's incredible to see these little details that show who someone really is.

 

Help me understand, are you saying that she was cold mostly based on the fact that she said it was a long message and she went to bed?

[Woah93]

That when she thought I was typing that long message, she was bout to cut me off saying she will read it in the morning, but as soon as she found out I wasn't and it was just me leaving the spacebar open accidently, she called me after to talk for another hour. It was just this little detail that sprung out at me. That it really is that the less I care the more she will try to pull me back in.

[Helpmesavethis]

That when she thought I was typing that long message, she was bout to cut me off saying she will read it in the morning, but as soon as she found out I wasn't and it was just me leaving the spacebar open accidently, she called me after to talk for another hour. It was just this little detail that sprung out at me. That it really is that the less I care the more she will try to pull me back in.

 

I see what you're saying.... Basically if she were interested enough herself, she would have stayed up for the message and chose not to. but when she found out you weren't sending one, she was interested in pulling you back in..... Again, I will never understand how people do this to others... I don't know her so I can't say those were her intentions but you do and that's as it seems.

[Woah93]

Exactly... it showed that she was manipulating

[Mandala]

That when she thought I was typing that long message, she was bout to cut me off saying she will read it in the morning, but as soon as she found out I wasn't and it was just me leaving the spacebar open accidently, she called me after to talk for another hour. It was just this little detail that sprung out at me. That it really is that the less I care the more she will try to pull me back in.

 

I honestly did not have the same perception (but of course I'm an outsider!). I personally could have said something like that also in a situation in which I was curious and I wanted to push you to hurry up a bit.

Also, at what time did this happen? And for how long she saw you "typing"?

[Woah93]

I'm not sure probably 20 seconds or so, it happend at like 2 AM. I'm not so sure why she at first was like I'm going to sleep and I'll read it in the morning, and then call me after. To me it does seem like game playing.

[Mandala]

I'm not sure probably 20 seconds or so, it happend at like 2 AM. I'm not so sure why she at first was like I'm going to sleep and I'll read it in the morning, and then call me after. To me it does seem like game playing.

 

Mm, I don't know... but you are right to keep your defenses up, at least until you are completely sure.

 

I don't know if you saw my last update, but I'm going through the ex constantly contacting me now as well, and I certainly know how scary it is! We have experienced so much pain lately that we do not want to feel it again. Just keep being easy and strong. Don't put with bs, but give it a chance... SLOWLY!

[Helpmesavethis]

Checking in on everyone.... It's a brand new day for me. I have a very busy weekend so I'm hoping it helps to get him out of my freaking mind... Now I'm dreaming about him. Rrrggg. I'll get there..... In time.... Blah....