Speaking of "Love" between friends

[LostInaTrapOfMyOwn]

I love my best girlfriends, to the end of the earth, forever and ever (I know this is very chick-flick-style cheesy, but I do). Over the last while, I've also come to love another friend of mine, who happens to be a guy. I feel a bit conflicted about it though; partially because I used to like him when we first met, and partially because I've never really had such a close male friend.

 

We think about things the same ways generally, and we can have debates and arguments over things where we each get to make our points. Sometimes I win, sometimes he wins, and sometimes we just agree to see the others POV and leave it be. He's made it pretty clear that he cares about me, and loves me too, but I have always assumed that this was love between friends, and I still think so.

 

My girlfriends keep pointing out how him and I seem like we would be an amazing couple, and are actually starting to get a little frustrated by how him and I keep failing to share any feelings we may have beyond friendship. Maybe this is just my own insecurities, but I don't want to tell him how I feel because I think he just loves me as a friend, and I don't want him to feel obligated to me in any way. My girlfriends keep telling me that he obviously likes me, and is just too chicken to tell me (one more way we are alike).

 

But my girlfriends love me, and hence have to say things like this, so I can't really believe what they're saying. I guess what I'm asking is:

Can two people be this close without having more-than-friends feelings?

[Sn0man]

Sometimes, but not often. You yourself said you might have feelings for him but are too chicken to tell him. He's probably feeling the same way. It's often very difficult to be good friends with someone of the opposite sex without having other feelings for them. I mean, I have alot of friends that are girls, but never got that close with them, and the ones I have gotten that close to have become girlfriends....

[DN]

Also, sometimes good friends can see things we do not because we are too close to the situation. If they are r really good friends they will not mislead you - they will tell you what they really think.

[LostInaTrapOfMyOwn]

Thanks guys, I really appreciate your opinion!

 

One problem: He currently has a girlfriend, so for now at least I'm out of luck. Oh and you know what is SO much fun for me? Because we're so close, anytime there's a problem with his gf, or he's upset, he immediately calls and tells me all about it. Yay! So much fun! (being very sarcastic here, I'm sure you can tell)

 

PS: It's funny that both of you that have responed are Canadian, cuz me too!

[Sn0man]

Canada kicks azz!

[FrustratedForLife]

Wholly cow, you just described the exact same situtation that i am in ....I'm on the opposite sides of things of course... I've liked this girl forever...and also liked her when we first met..heck a while before we met. This girl though, like means the world to me. I seriously don't know what i'd do with out her. Its just like you said too that we get along so well and lately were just like you with arguing sometimes she wins, sometimes i win, sometimes we just say screw it and agree to disagree....

 

Oh man though I know what you mean between love with friends....I mean I love her and I know she loves me but i just can't tell if its just friends or what....but she has so many girlfriends too and we all always hang out and I just wish that her friends would talk to her and give her the courage to tell me how she feels....

 

Just like you said i'm the fool that doesn't have the courage to tell her how I feel......I really think we could work out and be a great couple if one of us would just gain some serious courage. I mean we talk all the time and are so close already i don't know why we arn't going out.... Unlike you however this girl of mine had a BF which i wasnt bothered by because i figured it wouldn't last. But all she ever does is call me and tell me her problems with him.....HOW MUCH FUN!!!!!!!!! haha.....i'm bein sarcastic too...I really do enjoy talking to her tho and making her feel better so...its all good

 

They however also broke up a month ago or so and I am tryin to help her through that and it just kills me that we can't be together....Well sorry for blabbin on but I just neeeded to talk a little....

 

As for advice for your situation which seems identical to mine. I say that i think that in both of our cases we need to buck up and get some courage and tell the other person how we feel...I hope you can do this and take care of your problem....I'm sure he has feelings for you and will turn into a very strong and lasting relationship. But however I highly doubt i can build up that kind of courage. But I seriously think i should talk to her cuz i think your situation sounds just like her talkin and if she does feel the way you feel i might as well give er a shot.......

 

Hope i helped a little

[LostInaTrapOfMyOwn]

Awww...Frustrated, yeah it sucks eh?

 

But I know what you mean about talking them through their problems and making them feel better.. He always says how much it helps, and that I always totally cheer him up without just dismissing his problems. It makes me feel really good, but at the same time makes my brain scream. He's helped me through some tough desicions too, though none were romantic ones.

 

Just like you, he had a different gf before, and I wasn't bothered cuz I knew that one wouldn't last, but this time he says that he cares about her a lot so who knows.

 

Thanks for your support dude! If you want to talk some more about your (haha, or should I say "our") situation, feel welcome to PM me, or keep posting here

[FrustratedForLife]

Yeah, this girl, she broke up with her boyfriend and in my opinion and a bunch of other peoples opinion too including her friends all thought it was for the good. Mostly because they never seemed to even have friendship between them when theyd go out theyd just sit around and sit on different couchs at her house and everything. Plus he treaterd her like crap and broke up with her in a bad way that really broke her heart....I've been trying to help her get over him and just about when i think shes come to her senses she goes back to talkin about goin back out with him.......DRIVES ME NUTS hahaha.... The thing is i know she has liked him for a long time and has got this dude in her head like some great prince or sumthing and i can't figure out why she can't see how crappy this dude is