I have a question that;s bugging me

[misery12]

I have been with my girlfriend for about 5 months now.. and at the beginning, we seemed to kiss and stuff a lot more, and now we havent made out since like the beginning of Feb. I was beginning to think that she was becoming uninterested, but last night I came out and told her just how much she means to me, and it was like she was keeping the feelings bottled inside, she came out, and said.. "aww thanks, same goes for you, im sorry im not nice to you sometimes =(" but I told her not to worry about it, because that's just her personality, and I love that about her. So I know nothing is wrong in our relationship, and we're not much for public affection, but when I go over, or she comes over to my house, we always fool around, (wrestle, cuddle, and just have fun) so im just wondering if this sounds healthy, and is kissing a big part of a relationship.. am I worrying about nothing? She's also been sick for the last month. so there is an excuse, but Im not with her .. to kiss her.. if you know what I mean. So i'd just like your input please.. and your opinion on the whole.. thing.. any advice too would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks

[justsweetgirl]

She's been sick for a month? Is she okay? Sometimes, when one person stops being affectionate or attentive, it doesn't necessarily mean that person's interest has waned. It could be stress from school, job, family, friends. Yes, it is important to let your gf know how much she means to you. But you should also ask her why she is acting differently towards you. You cannot read her mind. The two of you need to communicate. Also, why is her not being nice to you acceptable because you say it's part of her personality?

[misery12]

Hey, yeah she's okay.. first she had strep throat for like 2 weeks.. she got better then she has had a sore throat for a while too, nothing serious.

And she isn't mean... she just sometimes calls me a loser and stuff like that.. but she's joking around, we do it all the time.. it's cool, it isn't that bad, because then she goes and paints me an awesome picture unexpectidly.. which makes me feel so good. And she said I mean a lot to her too!

We just haven't kissed because .. 1) she's been sick, and 2.. just the right time hasn't come up.. I use to be all into the moments when we were alone.. but now. I just love spending time with her, and her family.. its really fun. I just love being there.. so kissing isnt that big for me.. we will have our times.. and I mean I would kiss her , but just not at school and not in front of her parents.. I guess I am just wondering if this sounds good, and do we sound healthy.. we hang out everyday at school, and everyday that she doesnt have v-ball, and the season is over soon, so we'll be spending even more time together, plus our relationship is just starting up.. So, that's basically it, I'd love to her your input. thanks

[JynX]

Being a girl that's been in that situation before, I wouldnt worry too much about it. 5 months into a relationship it's perfectly normal to have less public affection and less make out urges. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 9 months, and sure, we were very affectionate for a few months, but then as time goes on and you get used to the person, that urge for affection seems to lessen. There's nothing bad about it, as long as you guys like each other's company and have fun.

 

I think the "new" in your relationship is wearing off, just like it did in mine. Now there's just a bf/gf for real; no pretending, no trying to impress each other. This is where the relationship starts to get tested, as I've learned.

 

If I can help with anything else, feel free to IM me on xXkiSsTh3rAiNXx...hope I helped!

 

JyNx

[misery12]

yeah that did help me!

that suits us, I can really relate Jynx

I have one question though, is this a good point to be in??

because I acutally don't feel like I need to impress her anymore.. and that is a good feeling.

I know we will kiss whenever it happens.. it's not like there is a schedule or anything..

you have some good advice.. please reply to this too.

[JynX]

Glad I helped

 

Well, it really depends on the two of you and how strong/weak your relationship is. It could be a good point because, like I said earlier, there's no more of trying to impress each other, that way you guys see each other for who you really are. After all, you dont have to be all over each other in public so people see you're dating right? You two already know there's a connection and thats what matters. As long as there are a few alone times when you guys are affectionate and it means something special, then I dont see a problem with it.

 

But, it can also be a bad thing as well. Take my situation for an example. After 9 months, my boyfriends and mine affection for each other is slowly dying out. Around school we hug and hold hands and kiss every now and then, but that's about it. When we're alone though, things are much different. I see a more affectionate side of him that doesnt show up when we're around other people. Now you might ask why that can be such a bad thing...well, sometimes us girls...ok bluntly put, we think way too much. So if there isnt a certail level of public affection present in a relationship, our minds start to wander off and think things like "are his feelings going away?" "is something changing?" "why cant we be like the couple next to us who are always hugging/touching?" ...Thus we start to expect more from the relationship. That's where I am right now, and I dont like it. So we may even start thinking that what we have isn't enough and that there should be more to it...you know? That's when we start to think on how different things could be if we were with someone else and what not...sOo as you see, girls are the more complicated ones.

 

Sorry, didn't mean to write you a book on your question...but sometimes things just come out.

 

Need anything else, feel free to ask anytime!

 

JyNX

[mshollywod]

You're very perceptive JynX. I can't believe you're only 15.

[misery12]

Hey Thanks a lot JynX

you seem to be the only one half interested in my topic, because I guess you can relate to my situation.

But yeah, I totally agree with what you said, and we are compared to the first paragraph, I know things are getting better, everyday I am happy to be with her, and it feels awesome to know she feels the same.

 

Thanks a lot for the help

[mshollywod]

I care about your situation. I am just no expert on relationships. How can I offer advice when I can't help myself. It's like the blind leading the blind. I do wish you and your girlfriend all the best and everything works out misery12.

[JynX]

No problem!

 

Good luck with everything!