My gf has depression and wants to be friends

[zac1122]

Ive been with my girlfriend 1 yr 8 months,

She is 23 yrs and I'm 27m.

 

She said to me she has never been happier and feels different with me and she loves me.

 

2 week later there was a family incident which caused her to go into a depressive state.

She was quick to get angry, slept all day , couldn't think clearly.

Ì tried to see her and support her but she pushed me away, yet she still played her sport (which she did to help her depression) still seen her best friend.

Because she pushed me away I gave her some space thought she needed it and would help her still seeing her occassionaly and texting most days . I didn't want to smother her.

So

2 months went by and I asked her .

 

Are we togeather still?

 

 

She replied

 

I don't want to see it end in a bad way. This may sound selfish, I'm doing this for myself, I need to beat this depression and get my life back and the only way I can do it is by myself. It's a shame it has to end like this and who knows what will happen in the future.

She is too complicated messes things up .

Her feelings have changed to friends after having time to herself .

 

 

Ì love this girl and my heart aches I don't know what to do I know I can't cope being friends it doesn't make any sense.

 

What do I do ?

 

I've been giving her space leaving her alone atm as I'm finding it so tough .

Do I continue giving space?

Is this her depression talking ?

Do I contact her after 2 weeks or so?

Or do I just try and let her go?

 

Ì don't know what to make of this.

 

We haven't spoken for about 5 days now

 

.i just feel really down and have anxiety about it all it's so much harder because she is a really nice decent person.

[vesper]

You're not together she asked for space

[LD145]

I was with my boyfriend for 2 years, and he suffered from severe depression and anxiety - he was even hospitalised a few months ago. We had a few occasions during our relationship when he would push me away in his low times, other times I would be the only one he wanted to see to comfort him.

 

When he pushed me away, it was so difficult to not take it personally and think I'd done something wrong but it's the depression. It changes people and it's not your fault. They push away in an attempt to protect themselves and to protect you from hurt, even if it actually hurts you more.

 

Give her the space she needs, and maybe in a week or two send her a text just letting her know you're there for her and you hope she's doing okay. Smothering them or begging them just pushes them away further.

 

My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago due to his depression becoming too much for me, so please take care of yourself!

[zac1122]

I was with my boyfriend for 2 years, and he suffered from severe depression and anxiety - he was even hospitalised a few months ago. We had a few occasions during our relationship when he would push me away in his low times, other times I would be the only one he wanted to see to comfort him.

 

When he pushed me away, it was so difficult to not take it personally and think I'd done something wrong but it's the depression. It changes people and it's not your fault. They push away in an attempt to protect themselves and to protect you from hurt, even if it actually hurts you more.

 

Give her the space she needs, and maybe in a week or two send her a text just letting her know you're there for her and you hope she's doing okay. Smothering them or begging them just pushes them away further.

 

My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago due to his depression becoming too much for me, so please take care of yourself!

Thankyou for that it really helps, yes it does change ppl and she says her feelings are numb.

 

Ì was trying to tell her to get help and go on anti depresents, she didn't listen wants to get over it herself. She only gets worse.

I'd like to be there for her for now I'll give her space and leave her alone hopefully she will get better.

 

Im really sorry what happend with your bf, it's a really sad and misunderstood mental illness it's so hard to know what's going on with them.

Thankyou for sharing I hope your ok it's realky sad that has happend.

[No1]

Regardless of reason, she does not want to be in a relationship with you anymore. I know it hurts and she can justify in her mind that she wants to fight her depression or whatever. She chose not to want to be with you. She is of sound mind and body and she made a decision. Just as she can make the decision to play her favorite sport, she decided not to be with you in a relationship any longer.

 

This is not the worst thing in the world. I know you love her and 1yr 8month is a long time, but maybe you just have to walk away and say that its over and grieve the loss. It hurts, so cry if you have to but you must accept that it is over. I cant tell you if you two will ever get back, but remember that when things were down, she chose to push you away. If you two ever get back, what will happen the next time she goes thru a tough spell?

 

Right now, it is your time to focus on you and realize its not your fault, nothing you did was wrong, you bear no guilt in this. She decided and you did all you could and there is nothing else you can do, but let her go. She wants space and time from you, you give her all she can handle. You now have room in your heart for someone better (and more stable) and you will be happy or happier in the future. I know it hurts my friend, but this is probably the best thing to happen to you.

[zac1122]

Thankyou this has really helped, I now have something more to think about I really appreciate it .

Ì believe you a right, you never know if it'll happen again if we do get back to togeather. I dont want to bear the pain again .

 

Thankyou