How to move on without closure?

[Mcasa1026]

Hello all

 

My boyfriend and I broke up less than a month ago. We had brief communication after breaking up.

 

Basically I was the one who mentioned break-up and regretted it. I had been trying hard to win him back by contacting him. He wouldn’t respond to me, all he gave me was two emails. Both emails read that he still cared about me and he was in pain as well. He said that the break-up was something he felt I ultimately wanted. Although I have emailed him back telling him that I didn’t want to break up, he didn’t seem to care anymore, since all I got from him is silence.

 

Its been really hard on me. I asked him several times what he wanted, but I never got his reply.

 

I was kinda happy when I received his second email telling me that he’s been thinking about me, I replied by telling him I wanted to keep trying, but it’s been 10 days and I haven’t heard from him again.

 

At first, I thought he was just trying to punish me with the silent treatment. However, at this point, I am just about to give up. I feel part in my doesn’t want to, because I never get closure from him – a confirmation like: “I am sorry, but this is the end. There’s no more us.”

 

I really want to move on. I can’t sleep well and I have lost all desires to do other things in life. I am tried of living like this, but I don’t know what I can do to pull myself out.

 

Any advice?

[rosephase]

Closure is a myth. He can't give it to you. You can only figure it out for yourself.

 

And in the future don't break up with someone unless you are really really sure that is what you want. Breaking up with someone isn't something you can take back.

[Keyman]

Closure is what you do for yourself when you 'close' the door of that relationship behind you and walk away leaving any questions you may still have unanswered.

 

Closure is not having someone answer all of your questions as to why you broke up. That just leads to more questions.

 

Closure does not occur when you are finally over someone. That is being 'over' someone.

 

The closure you are seeking is just an opening for you to beg more.

 

This breakup has happened, and he is leaving you alone and probably going through the exaxt same issues you are except with the understanding that YOU didn't want to be with him. It's only been a short while. Start working on yourself and prepare to move on.

[ThatwasThen]

Why did you initiate the break up? What was wrong with the relationship that compelled you to "mention breakup?" What do you suppose he's changed in one month that would make you not want to mention breakup again?

 

As for closure: You can give that to yourself by simply acknowledging that the relationship is not one that you could spend the rest of your life in and you're better off being out of each other's lives. You stick by your own convictions and you accept that mentioning "breakup" was the best for both of you. = Closure.