Emotional roller coaster relationship ended but I feel it's not over

[Greco]

I have been in a relationship with a woman who was 13 years younger than me . I am 50 and she is 37. We met 9 months ago and she soon told me she was falling in love with me . Things were great when we were together until she would be back home . She would have her phone off or not text me for days . Then all of the sudden she would call as if nothing was wrong . This went on for months .

We went to many places and sometimes for a few days at a time . Then last month I had a strange dream and it was almost like God had sent me a message . She had told me she once was in a relationship with the guy that she was renting a room from, but there was nothing between them .

She also told me she worked a lot and that was why she didn't answer my texts .

She told me the name of her roommate and that she told him all us .

Long story short I found out that she was living with him for 2 years and they were actually in a relationship and I was the fling or affair for her.

I found out his Number and called him and we both found out we were in the same boat .

We confronted her and she denied everything .

She didn't want to speak to me and a week later called me crying asking why did I do that to her ???

I couldn't believe it . I was in shock that she blamed me .

So I asked her , do you love me or did you love me it's a simple question. Yes or no .

She would not answer either way .

She just cried and said she has strong feedings but kept going back to me hurting her by catching her .

I wrote her a letter asking her to just tell me the truth so that I can get over this but she doesn't respond . She even told me the day she was caught that she was going to leave him .

Which made no sense since she didn't say they were together.

I still love her and have deep feelings for her .

I feel that she still loves me and is confused.

At this point do I just stop calling and trying to communicate with her and move on or what.

Could she have a psychological problem or just let it all go . I actually felt sorry for the guy because she had been with him for 2 years .

One note she did ask me once if it was possible to be in live with to people at the same tkme but when she asked me that I asked her what she was taking about and she said it was a friend of hers .

We never fought when we were together and we had such chemistry together it really hurts .

[SherrySher]

She doesn't love you. This is not love. She cheated on her partner with you, she wanted a fling and sex and that was it. She is upset now that you told her bf because she was happy with having you both.

But she wanted him as the serious live in, and you on the side for sex.

 

Why would you want a woman like that?

She was using you both and not caring who she was hurting. She's quite manipulative too by the sounds of it and there is zero trust here. Plus she is a full on liar.

She won't give you an answer to what you are asking because she knows it's not the answer you want to hear.

 

You really need to open your eyes here and to see what kind of person this really is. None of this was ever about love and I doubt she even understands what love is. Because if she loved either one of you, she wouldn't have treated either of you so badly.

 

You need to let this go, move on from her and find a decent woman. She is far from one.

[Clio]

She would have her phone off or not text me for days ... This went on for months .

 

Long story short I found out that she was living with him for 2 years and they were actually in a relationship and I was the fling or affair for her.

 

We confronted her and she denied everything .

 

kept going back to me hurting her by catching her .

 

The woman is a liar and a cheater and based on what you wrote, the relationship was never normal to begin with. Going after her given what you now know is asking for trouble. At 50, you should know better than going after a woman who is behaving like this. She is only sorry that she got caught. Given the chance she will do the same. From this point on, you are making informed choices. You never really knew this woman. What you "love" is a fantasy. The chemistry was all based on a lie. You need to take her off the pedestal.

[Greco]

I know you are right, I just really needed to hear it from someone else .

It's hard see the truth and it is sad that people are out there who actually have no soul .

Going forward in my life is the most important thing .

Being in peace and knowing that I was not the one who hurt anyone or caused any pain .

Thank you for your sincere advise .

[Greco]

Thank you for really opening my eyes to reality .

I have to be thankful that I wasn't the one who she went back to .

I don't see how her BF could even accept her in his life after all she did too .