OK so after 4 dates here are the issues I have with her

[Fudgie]

Not saying she had to be perfect, just showing she put effort into looking feminine the same way I did to look nice for her. I put on my best clothes when I came to see her

 

I would keep in mind that this is a preference for you, not necessarily a mandatory custom that everyone should follow. Yes, everyone out to be clean and well-groomed, but that doesn't necessarily translate to "feminine" or "done up". She may very well be the "t-shirt and jeans" sort of person and that's totally okay, but that means that she isn't the one for you.

 

If you have certain expectations, I don't see you being successful by continuing to see people who don't meet them.

[Capricorn3]

Probably daily financial meetings.

 

What exactly does that mean?

[moneymkt]

What exactly does that mean?

 

Meeting with myself to analyze the budget. lol

[KantSleep]

MY BF and I split the bill, for the most part. Always did. I insisted, even on the first date. If she doesn't think she has to contribute, she isn't the one for you. If she isn't glam enough on your dates, she isn't the one for you. There is nothing wrong with having preferences. I always try to look nice for my BF, but it isn't glam. It's well groomed, some makeup and usually some jewelry. But I leave the high heels for special occasions and wear everyday shoes or tennis shoes. I am more "preppy" if I had to describe it. If my BF wanted someone more done up, he would have passed. And that would have been OK. Good luck in your search.

[BlueEternity]

As far as the splitting the bill thing goes, it's worth asking what region you are in. In the American South, there is a much greater cultural expectation that the man pays on dates, and it is easy to offend guys by offering to pay or split, even after multiple dates... which makes women more cautious about doing so. Four dates isn't that many, and if she did get the tip on at least some of those dates, that does indicate she's open to chipping in, which makes all those posts calling her a mooch a little hard to swallow.

 

Even in a relationship, I don't think it has to be a 50/50 split. Sometimes I pay for my boyfriend, and we frequently split, especially if we're not "on a date" but he pays more than "his fair share." I allow him to, not because I can't pay (although he makes more than I do and has more expensive tastes than I do), but because he seems more comfortable with it that way. (Though he is gracious and appreciative when I do pay... but always looks uncomfortable/slightly embarrassed when I hand over my credit card). On the other hand, I would never want to take advantage of him by suggesting we go to expensive places, ordering pricey dishes, always wanting to be taken out, asking him to buy me things, etc. More than half of our dates are free/almost free (we are big on walks, hikes, movies at home, etc. ). In other words, as long as both people are respectful of the other person, different kinds of financial arrangements can work.

[nsolo]

"Part of me feels she went to meet a guy because her hair was all done and she was dressed nice."

 

This is insecurity talking. You are pretty sure she doesn't care about looking good for you, but she does for some other guy. Why would you think this?

 

I would be very tempted to take her out again. I'd tell her to dress up a little because we're going somewhere a little nicer. And then I'd take her to an Italian place, perhaps. It would make for a romantic evening, and hey, now you expect to pay, so what's the big deal? Do you have all these other dates lined up with other people? If not, I'd probably still date her. You didn't mention that y'all clashed other than in these material and vain ways.

 

If the dates are breaking the bank, on the other hand, then that's an issue to take into consideration.

[nsolo]

"I'm not much of a cooker so I would probably order dinner if she came to my place"

 

This is part of the reason you're broke. You'd be surprised how much doing meal preps on Sundays for the week could help the budget! Look up how to make turkey meatballs, for instance. Make a bunch of 'em. Have a pack of tupperware so you can package each portion. Freeze some and just have some others in the fridge. Whole grain noodles are good fillers, etc. If you don't have a budget, then you obviously don't have a dating allowance. That's surprising given your name alluding to a money market.

[moneymkt]

"I'm not much of a cooker so I would probably order dinner if she came to my place"

 

This is part of the reason you're broke. You'd be surprised how much doing meal preps on Sundays for the week could help the budget! Look up how to make turkey meatballs, for instance. Make a bunch of 'em. Have a pack of tupperware so you can package each portion. Freeze some and just have some others in the fridge. Whole grain noodles are good fillers, etc. If you don't have a budget, then you obviously don't have a dating allowance. That's surprising given your name alluding to a money market.

 

I do want to start saving a little money and want to start cooking easy stuff on the weekends like breakfast. Then I want to work my way up to dinner and maybe get a george foreman grill so I can start cooking dinner.