Is he even attracted to me?

[jwilliams347]

Recently a coworker and I attended a party. Leading up to the event, we were friendly with one another and maybe even flirted a little, but we did not have a deep friendship; although I had been attracted to him prior to the party. I had known that he was in a fairly serious off-and-on relationship and was under the impression that him and his significant other were no longer together at that point in time.

 

That night, we both got a little tipsy, flirted heavily, and ended up making out with one another several times. Even though he expressed an attraction toward me, I wasn't sure if it was his true attraction or just the alcohol speaking.

 

After that night, we began to communicate through text and we were flirtatious when we interacted at work. However, he began to speak to me less and less as the days wore on. We had never explicitly acknowledged what happened between us that night, but our behavior had reflected our prior actions and a mutual attraction. In the week following the party, I had seen him post photos of him and his significant other, suggesting to me that they had gotten back together or possibly had been together the night that him and I were at the party. However, he never spoke with me about his current relationship status.

 

It has come to the point where he does not contact me at all through text or phone, yet still acts flirtatious with me at work. He has not informed me of his relationship status, nor have we discussed the romantic connection that we had. It has been approximately two weeks since we made out at the party. In terms of age, he is several years older than me and we are at different points in our lives; so I would find it reasonable for him to think it to be impractical for us to be together.

 

If he had re-entered his relationship with his significant other and wished not to continue a connection with me, I would be able to accept that. He seems to express no interest to tell me the truth about the current state of affairs between us and that is what leaves me frustrated. What should I do? Should I make a further attempt to reach out to him and suggest we speak about things? Or should I leave it alone and let the situation run its course?

[katrina1980]

Well, you could be bold and straight out ask him.... but if it were me I would presume (and accept) the fact he is either back together, or still with, his significant other and/or just doesn't wish to be with you, and let it go.

 

Just me, but I have never felt the need to ask, I judge how a man feels and what he wants by his ACTIONS and respond accordingly. Usually by pulling away or just ending things.

 

If his actions are not consistent with a person who is interested in pursuing a relationship with you, then move on.

 

Unless you're good with just being "friends," but somehow I don't think that's either what you want OR what he/she wants.

 

That's what I would do anyway.

 

Reason being, I have learned to not always trust what a man says.

 

The only time I trust his words is when, again, those words are consistent with his actions.

[SherrySher]

I don't think this is something you should bother pursuing. He found you mildly interesting only because he and his significant other were having issues and now that she's back, he no longer cares about you.

Do you really want to degrade yourself and allow a man to treat you this way?

Let it go, he is not interested.

 

ps: Why I say degrading, is because he used you and then tossed you in two seconds when the girlfriend came back (if she ever left)..so not only were you second choice but he could also be a cheater.

 

There is nothing good to find here.

[nutbrownhare]

Yep, I think you need to cultivate a bit of selective amnesia here, and pretend the stuff at the party and the subsequent flirtation never happened.

 

He owes you nothing. All you had was a drunken snog with someone who wasn't with his girlfriend that night, and he lost interest after that. To try and pursue anything more - even if you're only wanting an explanation about where he's at - will leave you feeling humiliated and disappointed.

 

Walk away with your head held high!