please help

[kirstyski25]

I am at my wits end - I dont knwo what to do, I should be concentrating on work but my mind keeps thinking about my ex and I burst into tears. I spoke to him the other day and it was a friendly conversaation and he said that he had been out with two girls but nothing happened,. my heart broke, I asked him why and he said he was not going to sit around and do nothing. I then asked him what was happenign with us - he said he did not know and he would speak to me this week in person. Do you think he thinks about our relationship at all? Or is this the final bye?? I am sitting here in tears thinkign as he is the one that dumped me after a year does he think of the good times or the bad times?? This is killing me and I can not eat at all or sleep. My diet consists of cig and alcohol. Thats it as the pain hurts too much

[Gracey_Lee]

sorry hon... as much as i hate to say it, i think it's over. Even if you two get back together you'll always have this problem and things will never be the same. Go back to him if it makes you feel better for now, you might notice traits that you don't like. I know it's hard to move on, but it's for the better, anyone who can't give you a straight answer isn't worth the tears. no man is ever worth your tears, the one that is will never make you cry

[sadsammy]

I know how you feel its been 5 days since I spoke to my ex and I feel like I'm going crazy! I check my phone,e-mail,msn to see if hes called but he hasent I cant eat, its so hard to sleep I know what you mean about smokin (Im up to a pack a day!)..I'm wondering what hes doing but I keep thinking If he really loved me he would call me and he hasent! so why would I want to be with someone who dosent love me! I know its hard but the longer I dont talk to him the easier it will get....I hope

[Utah_Jack]

From a fellow cigs-and-alcohol dieter: I know exactly what you're going through. My wife of nearly five years rushed me to a quickie divorce, making sure she got my car and our savings before she did so.

 

The psychosomatic stuff is completely normal. You couldn't grieve greatly if you couldn't love greatly. In literature, this is known as "green-sickness": a lover's affiction of a generally wasting sort--rapid weight loss, dark, hollow eyes, an absolute lack of desire to continue on in the world.

 

I'm still green-sick myself, and as of yet I don't know if I'll recover. If I can offer any consolation, these are the moments when you fully realize your humanity, those qualities which set you apart from the rest of the animal kingdom. Love is humanity's exclusive domain, but it can be a hostile environment. It can be, as Tibetan buddhists characterize life in general, "like licking honey from the edge of a razor."

 

You're in my thoughts.

Utah_Jack

[2BhaPaL1]

That is the truth... the longer you dont talk to him... the easier it gets. The more people you will allow yourself to meet and the more you will realize that someone will make you feel so much better then this person is making you feel. It's the rejection that hurts! Feeling that you want someone that doesn't want you, not understanding why he doesn't see all of the things you know you have to offer him.

 

You have to realize that the way he is treating you isn't fair. And there is no way that he could possibly love you and feel you are the one if he is getting with other girls. You have to stop yourself from appearing helpless without him. Tell him you have accepted your loss and you are going to be better because of it.

 

Why do you want to prove to someone you are good enough? You ARE good enough and the right guy will see that on his own. Surround yourself with friends and things that make you happy. The distance will be good for you and if you are meant to be together he will come crawling back. When they love you... they always come back for you. Just because you are not there in his face doesn't mean he forgets about you.

 

If you two are meant to be, anytime he is with another girl .... you will pop into his head because she just wont compare. And if you dont pop into his head... then nothing you do will ever be good enough, and you just arn't meant to be. So you will find someone else... who will be consumed by you. Call your friends... be with family... dont contact him... he will contact you if he wants you. Good luck! You will be fine ... just give it time!

[sadsammy]

Im so glad I'm not alone in this

Everyone has the same problems but just a little diffrent right?? We Can Get Pass This! Dont call, Dont visit, Dont care...if they dont why should we! We are strong we can do this together And I thank everyone for there input and help

[2BhaPaL1]

We can do it together and you are not alone. You just need reminder of that every now and then.

[lady00]

First of all...you need to start eating again. Starving yourself is only going to make you feel worse and will perpetuate the cycle of sadness and low energy. Second, you probably are not benefitting from talking to your ex at this point. He's not going to say anything you will want to hear so give yourself time to breathe and heal.

[dollyd]

You do need to eat, i know that first hand as at the mo i have a very painful Kidney Infection due to not eating. all i wanted to do is smoke and drink.

 

It's been nearly 3 months since my ex split with me, it has been so hard but i can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, i got so scared about being by myself, so i was texting him all the time which has just pushed him further away, i did take a overdose and that had made me feel weaker. He does'nt care where i'm or what i do so why should i?

 

But now i'm fighting to get me back and i will do it without him, i don't want him back i have accepted it's over and i'm better off without him.

 

With the help of your friends and family you'll be fine and get through this, no man is worth it.

 

everything happens for a reason!!

[The Hater]

First... I think he is just 'sowing his oats'. nearly all men do this in a serious relationship. I have a dear female friend of mine marry a guy. He never cheated on her once while they were dating. But a few months before the wedding he went off to the military, Air Force, and passed the training blah blah and then went to a base / school / whatever that was a statea away. He started seeing other women during that time, he never slept with them but he made out with and what not. Then after he quit the air force and came back home.. that's when he started cheating on her full time. Sex and all. At least for about 8 months he did this, he says he's quit and I think he has.... but I dunno.

 

and as to the cig and alcohol diet.... make it pot and cig diet. alcohol is bad for you in too large of quantities.

[Lonley26]

I am in the same boat as you although I dont smoke and am afraid to drink while I feel like this. The only thing that makes it a little better is taking care of myself. I always have been in good shape but now I am trying to take it to the next level. I am only eating healthy foods and consistantly going to the gym. I went to the dentist (ouch) to take care of a few cavities that I have been putting off. I am working on all areas of myself that I or my x have identified as a weakness. I am doing this so I can feel better about myself because when she dumped me my usaully high self esteem went in the gutter. If I can regain my self esteem by taking great care of myself I will not feel like life is over. Concentrate on your your. Take care of your self. Make that your number one priority. Make it his loss not yours.