To delete or not delete?

[missswans]

I suppose this may sound silly asking for advice on this, but it matters to me and unfortunately I have these thoughts and feelings and would appreciate perspective.

 

I still have a few pics with my ex and a few about us on one of my social media accounts. It takes only a quick screen scroll to get to them because I hadn't posted much on my profile until recently. We broke up four years ago and looking at my profile, I have no proof that I had a boyfriend or dated anyone since him, which I find pretty embarrassing, especially since he recently finally acquired his next girlfriend after me. I need to make my profile public soon and can't decide whether to delete the pics having to do with us or not.

 

So, on one end I kind of want to keep the pics because it's memories and a part of my past. But on the other end, I worry since it takes such a pretty quick screen scroll to see these pics, maybe it makes it look like I'm not over it and didn't just forget the pics are there, but maybe looks like I purposely left them there. I'm not just worried it will appear that way to him, but to other people, even people who knew us or didn't know us.

 

Also, regardless of whether I delete the pics or not, I feel stifled to make my profile public, but I need to for my business. I have all these fears I can't help having that regardless of whether I delete the pics or not, I still don't have any sign or proof of having had a boyfriend or even dated other guys since him after all these years and when I continue to post present day, I STILL won't have posts about a boyfriend. I feel it will make me look like a loser and pathetic that it looks like I'm still single all this time. It makes me feel embarrassed. He recently finally acquired the next girlfriend after me after all these years so he has finally moved on which makes me more paranoid about how single I look for all these years based off my profile. It's nice to say I shouldn't care what others think nor what he thinks, but it's easier said than done for me, I've always cared what others think and can't help myself. I have especially always cared how I look and how moved on I look to whoever my last ex is. All this makes me feel like maybe I just should leave my profile private and forget about trying to make it public for my business. I'm hoping someone understands me on here and am looking for I guess some help with these feelings.

[Wiseman2]

Take all the old bf pics off and put them in a folder. Review your privacy settings and update your social media presence and image. Why do you "need to" make your personal profile public? Do you have a LinkedIn profile that has a link to your business email/website?

 

Make a business profile. Do not mix your personal profile with a business profile it's a huge turn off. It would put me off immediately to see a stale personal profile in lieu of a business profile. Create a professional looking business-named fb profile for that.

I still have a few pics with my ex and a few about us on one of my social media accounts.I feel stifled to make my profile public, but I need to for my business.

[DancingFool]

Have to second wiseman here - you need to create a business profile for business and there is no reason whatsoever to use your personal profile for business. It would actually be kind of weird. Your personal profile can very well remain private. It doesn't sound like you are very current or well versed in social media for business, so maybe talk to someone who is really good with it, learn the ins and outs of what to do and not do.

[Dominique]

Make a separate business profile. Save those pictures somewhere else.

Restrict your friend list so only you closest friends can see you personal photos. My co workers are on the restricted list. They only see public posts. And I only post my pictures to friends not public.

[missswans]

Make a separate business profile. Save those pictures somewhere else.

Restrict your friend list so only you closest friends can see you personal photos. My co workers are on the restricted list. They only see public posts. And I only post my pictures to friends not public.

 

I can't do that.

[missswans]

Have to second wiseman here - you need to create a business profile for business and there is no reason whatsoever to use your personal profile for business. It would actually be kind of weird. Your personal profile can very well remain private. It doesn't sound like you are very current or well versed in social media for business, so maybe talk to someone who is really good with it, learn the ins and outs of what to do and not do.

 

I can't, my personal is my business, I can't explain further, please let's not get hung up on that part of my post. If I had known that would cause posts that are not giving me proper advice, I would not have posted that I need my profile public for my business, I would have just said I need my profile public then to avoid these posts that aren't helpful.

[missswans]

Have to second wiseman here - you need to create a business profile for business and there is no reason whatsoever to use your personal profile for business. It would actually be kind of weird. Your personal profile can very well remain private. It doesn't sound like you are very current or well versed in social media for business, so maybe talk to someone who is really good with it, learn the ins and outs of what to do and not do.

 

And I'm definitely current with social media, I'm very good at it since I started a year ago. But know I could have so many followers if I went public. But let's not get hung up on giving me advice about social media but about what my post is about please. I cannot make a another account so that is out of the question.

[missswans]

Take all the old bf pics off and put them in a folder. Review your privacy settings and update your social media presence and image. Why do you "need to" make your personal profile public? Do you have a LinkedIn profile that has a link to your business email/website?

 

Make a business profile. Do not mix your personal profile with a business profile it's a huge turn off. It would put me off immediately to see a stale personal profile in lieu of a business profile. Create a professional looking business-named fb profile for that.

 

I can't, my personal is my business, I can't explain further, please let's not get hung up on that part of my post. If I had known that would cause posts that are not giving me proper advice, I would not have posted that I need my profile public for my business, I would have just said I need my profile public then to avoid these posts that aren't helpful. Let's not give me advice about social media, I cannot make another account it is out of the question. I wanted advice for what my post is really about.

[Wiseman2]

Agree that if you can't make a separate business profile then just leave it private. How long have you been broken up? Have you blocked and deleted him from social media?

I STILL won't have posts about a boyfriend. I feel it will make me look like a loser and pathetic that it looks like I'm still single all this time. It makes me feel embarrassed. He recently finally acquired the next girlfriend after me after all these years so he has finally moved on which makes me more paranoid about how single I look for all these years based off my profile. All this makes me feel like maybe I just should leave my profile private and forget about trying to make it public for my business.

[missswans]

Agree that if you can't make a separate business profile then just leave it private. How long have you been broken up? Have you blocked and deleted him from social media?

 

This particular social media app I'm talking about, I cannot block him from unfortunately. He would be able to look as could anyone. I said in my post we have been apart four years

[Hollyj]

Your responses are quite rude. People are simply trying to help you.

 

Just remove the damn pictures, and your problem is solved. I don't understand why you would need to put them on there to begin with.

 

Don't be so insecure about your relationship history. Who cares!

[sara-pezzini]

You can just remove them and keep them somewhere else.

As for needing proof of dating or looking pathetic, why do you feel you need a man? Why do you feel pathetic if you are single? Maybe you should look into that some more, who cares what other people think!

[Dominique]

And I'm definitely current with social media, I'm very good at it since I started a year ago. But know I could have so many followers if I went public. But let's not get hung up on giving me advice about social media but about what my post is about please. I cannot make a another account so that is out of the question.

 

that's fine. i understand. sorry the advice wasn't appropriate....i don't think you should be offended by the advice though.

 

can you move the pictures to a folder that isn't on your profile? if you can, try that. if not, delete the pictures.

[missswans]

Your responses are quite rude. People are simply trying to help you.

 

Just remove the damn pictures, and your problem is solved. I don't understand why you would need to put them on there to begin with.

 

Don't be so insecure about your relationship history. Who cares!

 

I find the responses I received were rather rude, especially being told about about social media and told I don't know how to use it. I clearlywas asking for advice about deleting pics and how I feel about looking to others, but instead I received messages about how to handle business. My responses are not rude at all.

[Hollyj]

All of your responses were rude .

 

People were only trying to offer viable options. You seem to know all, so maybe this is not the best place to seek your answers. Sorry, that we did not do what you "told" us to do.

[missswans]

that's fine. i understand. sorry the advice wasn't appropriate....i don't think you should be offended by the advice though.

 

can you move the pictures to a folder that isn't on your profile? if you can, try that. if not, delete the pictures.

 

No this is a different social media, not fbook. It's ok, I wasn't offended by anyone's response except the one saying I don't know how to use social media. I simply was replying that everyone was stuck on the business thing when it was a small mention in my post and not the point.

[Wiseman2]

Why not just do what you need to or want to do and ignore whatever he does. He probably hasn't worried about you or your social media in years so don't be self conscious about him bothering to look or notice.

I cannot block him from unfortunately.we have been apart four years

[missswans]

All of your responses were rude .

 

People were only trying to offer viable options. You seem to know all, so maybe this is not the best place to seek your answers. Sorry, that we did not do what you "told" us to do.

 

Holly, where did I say I know all? Lol. You are hilarious. I did what anyone would do when my responses were bouncing off the first response I received by wiseman who fixated on the business aspect I so briefly touched on in my post and wasn't the point of my post. Never was I ever RUDE in my responses to anyone even though I should have taken offense about being told that I don't know how to use social media. I answered saying I can't do what they are saying to do and would like the other aspects of my entire post that I took the time to divulge and wanted heartfelt advice about. Instead I'm getting business tips which is not what I came on here for. I was responding to say that can't be done what they were instructing me to do, that is not rude whatsoever and to call it rude is CRAZY. The only person who is causing a fight is you.

[missswans]

Why not just do what you need to or want to do and ignore whatever he does. He probably hasn't worried about you or your social media in years so don't be self conscious about him bothering to look or notice.

 

I guess that could be true, I hope so. Do you think it looks pathetic though that I have no sign of having dated anyone since him?

[sara-pezzini]

As i already asked you, why do YOU think it looks pathetic? People hardly ever spend much time thinking about other people's lives, they have their own stuff so just do what you want to do for you and not for the outside world. Who cares!?

[missswans]

Why not just do what you need to or want to do and ignore whatever he does. He probably hasn't worried about you or your social media in years so don't be self conscious about him bothering to look or notice.

 

Actually, I think an honest man's perspective be would be great if you could be honest with me. If you looked at an ex gf's social media and she had no pictures or signs of having had a boyfriend or dated since you, would you gloat even a little to yourself or even pity/feel sorry for her or look at her a bit lowly that it looks like she is single and looks like she hadn't dated anyone since you?

[missswans]

As i already asked you, why do YOU think it looks pathetic? People hardly ever spend much time thinking about other people's lives, they have their own stuff so just do what you want to do for you and not for the outside world. Who cares!?

 

I guess I'm ashamed that I still haven't found a happy relationship and also he found one before me which is upsetting. I do think if he could see my stuff he would be curious and people are very stalkerish in this day and age. I know he sometimes stalks others especially female exes ha and I know so many people are nosey. That makes it more hard for me to believe what you're saying

[Wiseman2]

I would not be wasting my time stalking an ex's social media 4 yrs after breaking up or when in a new relationship. He's not as "fixated" on you as you are on him.

If you looked at an ex gf's social media and she had no pictures or signs of having had a boyfriend or dated since you

[sara-pezzini]

But maybe you would be dating or in a relationship but not post pics of it.... he'd never know...... you gotta rise above that stuff, but i think it's more about what your ex thinks now then it is about what other people think....

You can always post pics of you having tons of fun with many people, keep him guessing, and then he'll see your doing fine without him, you're doing even better now.....

Or just delete the pics with him in it, keep them somewhere else private.... or keep the pics and write next to them "worst mistake of my life"

[Hollyj]

I think you are making the mistake in thinking that he is stalking you, as you are him.

 

Just leave the photos off. Many do not put their relationship photos up for the world to see, as they want it private.

 

It's time to move on from this relationship!