NC Day 1. Breakup with an alcoholic.

[Breezway77]

Hi Everyone, I'm happy to find this site. Today I begin NC Day 1. I had 8 days and then OF COURSE answered the phone one day, and OF COURSE things that were already bad got 10x worse. I'm breaking up with an alcoholic after 3 years. His condition has taken him to rock bottom, blackouts for days. I drank with him for 2 1/2 years, I quit 6 months ago. It's the healthiest, hardest thing I've ever done so it's killing me that this breakup is killing me! I feel like a hopeless codependent, my head knows what's right but my heart is smashed. I can't stop crying (and then accepting that I'm crying over a blackout drunk who fell into bed with another woman), I haven't eaten for days. I feel so damaged. Part of it must be because I used to drink through my problems, this is the first time I'm facing something emotional like a breakup as a sober person. All the emotions are just too much. I know I miss the relationship, not him, I know this. So sitting here crying as I type is just making me upset with myself for being upset.

 

I'm putting on my hiking shoes and am going to work out some stress on the mountain. I could really use support, this is NC Day 1.

[Annia]

I commend you for being so brave and leaving this toxic relationship. You're a brave person in the right path to become a better and healthier person in the future.

Are you having therapy or professional help with your addiction?

 

Don't be afraid of letting your emotions out and to cry. It's healthy to let it all out and it's great that you're hiking and taking out your energy in healthier things. In time you'll feel much better and realize you did the best decision.

 

Stay strong and feel free to vent here. Sometimes it helps to journal it and let it all out so that we don't break NC or fall into toxic patterns of dealing with our emotions.

 

Stay strong and good luck on your new journey.

[melancholy123]

Good for you for taking this step, I know it's a big one for you. Alcoholics make the worst partners. I had a friend who was an alcoholic and I had to remove him from my life as I couldnt put up with his crap any longer. Block this guy any way you can, stay strong, and you can get thru this.

[Wiseman2]

Excellent. Find support wherever you can including regular sobriety support meetings, etc. Surely when one gets healthy they leave the drunken one and many people can support you with similar experiences.

 

Reinvent your life without alcohol. This means staying very busy joining clubs and other groups that reflect healthy lifestyles such as hiking or whatever other interest you have. You'll have to make new sober friends.

 

Also get in shape, eat healthier, exercise regularly. Get new clothes, hair, etc. Take lessons and classes that interest you or augment your sobriety through relaxation, activity etc. .

I quit 6 months ago. It's the healthiest, hardest thing I've ever done so it's killing me that this breakup is killing me!