Storytime

[preetamganti]

Hello,

 

My story is kind of a long and complicated one but I would certainly appreciate some feedback from you all if possible.

This is probably my one and only regret I've come across in my whole entire life.

 

I dated a girl (girl #1) from July 2014 through August 2016.

 

In 2015 I graduated and that summer I met another girl (girl #2) who I became really interested in and eventually caught feelings for her as well.

 

In 2015 August I end up going on a trip to Switzerland with this new girl (girl #2) and I end up kissing her on my ten day trip even though I was still dating the first girl (I cheated which was really bad).

 

From August 2015 to November 2015 I am here dating two girls at the same time and my friends are telling me to break up with one because 1) its not healthy and 2) I'm playing a very dangerous game. The advice made complete sense to me.

 

Because I was given this advice, I ended up choosing girl #1 especially since I have already been dating her for a year at this point.

 

November 2015 the new girl ended up buying an expensive plane ticket to come and see me and I told her I felt uncomfortable in her coming, thus leading to her to lose the money she spent and ending the relationship with me. I did not pay her back for a LONG time which was really ty on my part as well. I hurt her feelings, and her ego, and everything and I felt terrible for my actions.

 

January 2016, girl #2 decides to date somebody at her University, which I did not know.

 

June 2016, I go with my family on a trip to Ireland and I reminisce on my Switzerland trip and start to bounce back into my deep feelings for girl #2 so when i come back from the trip, I ask her to go out with me again and she flat out rejects me.

 

July 2016, My sister decides to message girl #2 expressing how deep my feelings are for her and she says "I didn't realize he was still into me this much but unfortunately I am off the market"

 

August 2016 I break up with girl #1 because we both know we love other people and it just was not worth it because there weren't any feelings for each other anymore.

 

August 2016, After I go to a Drake concert i decide to FaceTime girl #2 telling her how i felt and this is how the conversation goes.

-1) I open up telling her hi and just catching up on life with her

-2) I say sorry for making her cancel her ticket in 2015 and I told her I would pay her back

-3) I tell her how much i love her

-She tells me "I've had a boyfriend and its getting kind of serious. If he was not in my life, I would have definitely given you another chance. If i break up with him, I will let you know and we can get together again. But it is starting to get serious"

 

January 1, 2017 I pay her back in full for her plane ticket that purchased to come see me way back in 2015.

 

March 2017 I went to visit my sister who works in Florida and Saturday night we drink a little bit and I ask my sister to send girl #2 a snapchat through my phone saying that "I still love her"

 

I didn't realize she actually sent it until the next day morning when I check my snapchat and see that a video was sent out to the girl. The girl replies with a snapchat saying "theres no way you're not over me yet"

 

I immediately contact her over text message and ask her what happened and she said it was a snapchat video from my sister saying "He still loves you I can't stress that enough" and i apologize for it and she says it is alright she figured we were drunk anyways.

 

I then ask her when she plans to come visit me again and then she says that she would come sometime in the summer to visit. I ask her "aren't you working this summer" and she says "yeah but I can take a few days off to come visit" KEEP IN MIND THAT SHE STILL HAS A BOYFRIEND IN ALL OF THIS.

 

She then messages me out of the blue on March 29th without me even initiating the next week asking for advice on what she should do as a profession in the future.

 

Now I am stuck and confused and I don't know what to do.

 

1) Do you think she is still into me and/or has feelings for me?

2) Is it possible that she will actually pay me a visit this summer?

3) Is it possible that something can start back up this summer?

4) How do I go about getting this girl back into my life for good?

[Hollyj]

If she has a boyfriend, what difference does it make? Have you learned nothing from this this situation!!!!!

[preetamganti]

If she has a boyfriend, what difference does it make? Have you learned nothing from this this situation!!!!!

 

But why would she be willing to come in the summer if she has a boyfriend?!?!

 

I am in love with this girl thats the difference it makes!

[Hollyj]

Because she likes to cheat, just like you.

 

If she wanted to be with you, then she would end it with him.

 

You are both selfish and lack moral character. I feel for her bf.

[preetamganti]

@Hollyj how do you know she likes to cheat?

[Hollyj]

Do you think her bf knows about this visit? Did she ask him what he thought about the two of you meeting up?

 

If she cared about you, she would break up with him!

[Clio]

Engaging you while having a boyfriend and planning to visit is emotional cheating. It is unlikely that her boyfriend knows any of this. As for you, you clearly have no remorse about cheating right and left other than paying lip service 'yes it's bad'. If girl #2 knew all the background you provided, she would have blocked you a long time ago. Trust is essential in relationships and clearly cannot be trusted. Liars and cheaters are nobody's dream partner.

[preetamganti]

I don't know if her bf knows about her planned visit to come...

[jujusamples]

You are making 1 mistake after another without learning. It's wrong for you to cheat. Then you continue to harass girl #2 and telling her you love after the fact that she told you she has a boyfriend which is turning serious.

 

Have you ever thought, she's just playing you by saying she's going to come visit you? You have no boundaries and I feel sorry for anyone whom dates you. You do whatever you feel like without any regards for anyone's feelings. If girl #2 is actually serious about coming to see you (which I don't think she is) than you two are meant for each other.

[preetamganti]

You are making 1 mistake after another without learning. It's wrong for you to cheat. Then you continue to harass girl #2 and telling her you love after the fact that she told you she has a boyfriend which is turning serious.

 

She told me it was getting serious after I confessed my love to her over that FaceTime call so its not necessarily any sort of harassment. If she really didn't want to even see my face or talk to me, she wouldn't have even agreed to FaceTime with me.

[jujusamples]

You are making 1 mistake after another without learning. It's wrong for you to cheat. Then you continue to harass girl #2 and telling her you love after the fact that she told you she has a boyfriend which is turning serious.

 

She told me it was getting serious after I confessed my love to her over that FaceTime call so its not necessarily any sort of harassment. If she really didn't want to even see my face or talk to me, she wouldn't have even agreed to FaceTime with me.

 

You had your sister snapchat her to tell her you love her. Being tipsy isn't an excuse. I believe that was after the fact she confessed of having a serious boyfriend. You need to own up to your actions! Acknowledge what you have been doing is wrong before you could start making things right again.

[rdbulc]

Okay, so many questions here.

You and girl # 2. You met in 2015 and somehow ended up going to Switzerland together really quickly? How does a friendship escalate that quickly? How did you meet this chick?

Also, when you decided to cheat on your gf at the time, did you even confess your wrongdoings to her?

Also, why are you getting your sister involved in this? How does your sister know this chick? Why are they on snap of your relationship- a liaison rather- with her ended? Did your sister know this chick too? Is girl #2 your sisters' friend or something?

Also, IDK what you told girl #1 when you guys started going out, but you better have taken the heat for cheating on her. On multiple continents! Unless, you know, you had your sister inform her that it was over, which seems to be your strategy since you seem like a coward.

Honesty is key. You and this girl are doing some shady stuff. I think she has gotta come clean to her bf so you both could actually be together. You know, since you're perfect together. But, I would recommend being in an open relationship since you both enjoy some action on the side as well. Seriously, I would recommend therapy. Or idk maybe you could get drunk with your sister again and let this girl know what's what?

I need to take several showers after hearing this icky story.

[preetamganti]

Okay, so many questions here.

You and girl # 2. You met in 2015 and somehow ended up going to Switzerland together really quickly? How does a friendship escalate that quickly? How did you meet this chick?

Also, when you decided to cheat on your gf at the time, did you even confess your wrongdoings to her?

Also, why are you getting your sister involved in this? How does your sister know this chick? Why are they on snap of your relationship- a liaison rather- with her ended? Did your sister know this chick too? Is girl #2 your sisters' friend or something?

Also, IDK what you told girl #1 when you guys started going out, but you better have taken the heat for cheating on her. On multiple continents! Unless, you know, you had your sister inform her that it was over, which seems to be your strategy since you seem like a coward.

Honesty is key. You and this girl are doing some shady stuff. I think she has gotta come clean to her bf so you both could actually be together. You know, since you're perfect together. But, I would recommend being in an open relationship since you both enjoy some action on the side as well. Seriously, I would recommend therapy. Or idk maybe you could get drunk with your sister again and let this girl know what's what?

I need to take several showers after hearing this icky story.

 

 

We have been family friends for upwards of six years and that is how my sister and I both know her, we have met a few times prior to 2015 but obviously it was at a very young age so nothing ever happened. When my sister messaged her back in July 2016 to let her know how deeply in love I was with this girl I was unaware of her taking matters into her own hands. I did take a tremendous amount of heat from everybody for cheating and I realized that honesty is key and thats why I was honest with you all when this was posted.

[preetamganti]

@jujusamples I have acknowledged what i did was wrong, and I have taken a lot of heat for it over the past two years. I am ready to be honest and truthful from here on out and I am on the path to correcting my wrongs and starting to make things right again. These aren't just words, this is real change that I am bringing about in myself.

[Wiseman2]

Why bother with a girl who has a bf and you need plane fare to see?

 

Get on some dating apps and start meeting local single girls. Obsessing over 'the one who got away' is kind of a big waste of your time and money.

 

Move to where she is. LDRs are not that viable in the long run 6803688]How do I go about getting this girl back into my life for good?

[preetamganti]

Why bother with a girl who has a bf and you need plane fare to see?

 

Get on some dating apps and start meeting local single girls. Obsessing over 'the one who got away' is kind of a big waste of your time and money.

 

Move to where she is. LDRs are not that viable in the long run

 

 

The only reason why I want her so badly is because I have been in love with her for the past few years. Im not trying to ruin her relationship but to me it is pretty clear she still has some feelings for me and clearly I reciprocate those feelings as well. LDRs are not viable only if you are not willing to make it work. But in this situation, I've learned my mistakes and I am certainly willing to make it work now.

[Hollyj]

@jujusamples I have acknowledged what i did was wrong, and I have taken a lot of heat for it over the past two years. I am ready to be honest and truthful from here on out and I am on the path to correcting my wrongs and starting to make things right again. These aren't just words, this is real change that I am bringing about in myself.

 

We can see. You Are pursuing someone in a relationship.

 

You haven't changed your shady, cheating ways, at all.

[preetamganti]

We can see. You Are pursuing someone in a relationship.

 

You haven't changed your shady, cheating ways, at all.

 

 

How can you say I haven't changed my shady cheating ways when all i am trying to do is get my love back? Whether she decides to come visit and cheats on her boyfriend or whether she decides to break up with him before coming here is completely her decision. But how does that mean I haven't changed my ways?

[avoidatallcost]

OP why exactly are you confused? Just message her and respond to her question and make small talk. If you guys hit it off, make plans to visit her. Just don't focus all your energy on her or you are in for a sore disappointment.

 

But I'm with wiseman. Can't you find a woman to be in love with that you don't have to spend thousands of dollars every time you want to see her?

 

Even if she does happen to meet you, you're wasting your time either way.

[Hollyj]

You're not an idiot. I don't need to spell it out for you.

 

You are pursuing someone who is involved, it shows a complete lack of character.

 

Good luck!