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I don't think it's working out


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I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible. Starting from the beginning.


Met my girlfriend 2 years ago. I'm 24, she's turning 21 tomorrow...

My friend was interested in her, she was interested in me.

We hooked up, wasn't supposed to go anywhere, but we ended up falling for each other. Fast.

2 months later I left and worked on cruiseliner for 6 months. I was faithful and as far as I know so was she. But that's not the issue here.

We spoke daily. I came back, everything went back to normal.

A month after I came back we left town moved to the city, I started my own small business (it's struggling I'll be honest but it's my dream) she went to college.

Meanwhile we're both working as waiters on the side to pay the bills.

She finished her 1 year course top of class. I drove her to class and back every day because of lack of transport here. She still doesn't have a license after 2 years of trying to encourage her and making her understand I can't drive her around forever. Not that I mind doing that for her... I help where I can..


Anyway back on topic.. We fight.. a lot.. about small things, big things, sometimes things I have no idea about what's going on. She's very moody and always seems to be upset about something.

I get upset very easy.. not with her but I tend to get angry (traffic, struggling to do something, etc.. I'm a very irritable person with external influence) and that reminds me a lot about my dad.. I don't like that..


She's been talking about getting married, and that's what I wanted for a time as well.. but the last few months (I know I should have adresses this earlier) I can't help but find myself thinking of my exes.. imagining myself with other girls.. or even just being single..


However I don't want to lose her.. and she's not the strongest emotionally.. she's told me she'd kill herself if anything ever happened to me.. she has endometriosis.. which makes everything so much more difficult in every aspect. She's got practically no one except me to look out for her. Emotionally and financially.


We live alone in a new apartment now for the last 5 months.. used to share with my best friend but our girlfriends were always arguing, drove us insane so we parted ways.



All in all I'm just looking for some words of wisdom.. what do I do?


I want out..

But I don't know if I can or should..

I don't know if it's a mistake..

Everyone says we're perfect together..

She seems to be completely in love with me..


Please help.. I don't know what to do.. the thought of leaving her is very overwhelming.. how would I go on from here..

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