'I'm glad your back, we missed you'.

[Mavrik]

So my break up with my 12 month relationship with someone with BPD certainly took its toll on me. She ended it and we ageed no contact, yet she kept on reaching out when she wanted to, and would turn on me soon after (soon after meaning an hour or so).

 

What on earth was I doing, I would say to myself, buf the pull was intense to want to go back. Then the pain was even worse when she turned on me.

 

It's been a couple of weeks since we last had any contact and I've made it clear that I want to be left alone, so here's hoping she stays away.

 

I'm a stand to comedian in my spare time and can make any situation with anyone I meet so lighthearted, people tell me how funny I am, social life is very busy, colleagues say I'm a breath of freah air. And people always smile and want to spend time with me. So I have this bright life, yet I was always being drawn into the darkness of the BPD relationship, for it to smack me in the face full on.

 

I was at work Today and people could easily notice the change in me over the past 4 months and I'm now coming out of it, and my close colleague said to me 'I'm glad your back, we missed you', my reply 'I know you did, I now realise that i was in a dark place and shouldn't have been'.

 

I've been through a few break ups but nothing like this, and as intense as this.

 

But we do get through it. That's what humans do and it makes us a better person

 

Anyone going through a break up, however hard it is, we do move on and it does get better.

 

And those in a relationship with someone with BPD take extra care of yourselves. Don't lose yourself to the relationship.

[Wiseman2]

Excellent. It takes time to heal. Stay no contact and now is the time to block and delete rather than count on her to not contact you.

I'm now coming out of it, and my close colleague said to me 'I'm glad your back, we missed you', my reply 'I know you did, I now realise that i was in a dark place and shouldn't have been'.

[LondonMan33]

Been in same situation , I never knew anything about BPD, My ex of 7 year,s certainly has this condition or what ever it is. lying, cheating, hot,cold, you name it she did it. nothing was ever her fault though. I totally know where you are coming from when you talk about being in a dark place. past few month I have been walking around with the 50 yard stare Just starting to feel better in myself this past few days, good luck to you and be happy .

[Mavrik]

Sorry to hear your going through it. Like I said I've sadly had other break ups, but nothing as draining and energy sapping as this. It put me in a world of hurt.

 

She's at the stage where her life's falling apart and all her so called 'friends' are stepping away. As all you can do is sit back and watch them destroy themselves as there is nothing else you can do. In a few months time she will have lost everything that's taken her many many years to get together.

 

So painful and sad to watch, but there is nothing you can do.

 

But if I'm getting through it, I'm certain you will do

 

All the best

[Dreamfunk]

I'm happy for you bro...... we fight because we care but can never win!

😉

[boltnrun]

I got dumped by an ex of mine.

 

I was miserable. I cried for two straight months. I thought I'd never get over it and I'd go to my grave still loving that guy and I'd wait for him forever.

 

Interestingly, a coworker told me about a month in "I noticed how much happier you seem since you broke up with your boyfriend". And I was shocked, because I felt anything but "happy".

 

But what he saw was I was no longer worried and stressed and anxious over the relationship. All of that went away when he broke up with me. And I was too busy wallowing in my sadness to realize this until my coworker pointed it out.

 

Now, I have no feelings for that guy. A couple of years ago he attempted to start dating me again but I found him so insufferably boring and annoying that I gave up after the second meet up. And I don't miss OR love him one bit.

[Mavrik]

I can't believe that such a simple statement can have such an impact.

 

I notice now that I came off social media and disengaged with friends. And alsorts

 

This week at work I've been making lots and lots of people laugh and when I'm out at a shop

I'm joking and messing around and it's all lighthearted and everyone loves it and I'm back to I used to be.

 

Can't believe what an impact one person can have on you