A guy's expression of respect of female sexuality

[Ajaxajax1]

You may think I'm paranoid, but I promise you that when a woman shoves her hand right in front of my face instead of blocking my eye contact and moves back six feet in a hurry, I don't call that just moving out of the way. If I were a woman, I know that just moving my hand out a bit and stepping back a couple of steps would more than suffice.

 

Even if I do read too much into everything, is it always better for me to do so for me to learn how to do better next time instead of repeating Einstein's definition of doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome? I overthink, but I aim to do things better. Not overthink for the sake of looking smart. If you want additional proof on top of what's already offered, try watching (500) Days of Summer if you haven't already. Guy becomes friend of girl, but guy loses badly in the love race and he crashes and burns because of that. It was actually hard for me to watch, and with good reason.

[notalady]

I think anyone, man or woman, who relies on rom coms as their source of reality, has serious things to learn about real relationships. Of course, you might find a movie relatable, but yea...a fictional movie (a rom com no less) is not proof of anything.

 

Sounds like you simply haven't had much luck with women. I suggest try to meet people through activities, clubs, common hobbies, instead of cold approaching. Some people are just out to have some fun with friends, or even by themselves, not open to being approached, or they are attached (not single), or they are simply not attracted to you. Of course, there's also nothing wrong with being aware of strangers approaching in public and staying vigilant in general. I don't see how that's anything to do with female sexuality and how they perceive it.

 

Regarding that woman in your example, I would just consider her rude or overreacting, or simple as being surprised by you possibly being in her personal space without her realising (as she wasn't paying attention, not your fault). She, as a person, a human being, can be all these things, without thinking or implying anything about you as a man. I think it was quite a reach to make up in your own mind what she must have been thinking when she reacted that way. Seems more like you're being over sensitive due to past experiences and now are creating scenarios in your own mind.

 

I think it would be more productive to focus on what you can do differently in your dating approach rather than attempting to "educate" an entire gender based on your interpretations of that gender (which isn't even accurate, certainly not to the gender as a general sense, might be true for some people and maybe some of the women you've interacted with).

[Ajaxajax1]

I think anyone, man or woman, who relies on rom coms as their source of reality, has serious things to learn about real relationships. Of course, you might find a movie relatable, but yea...a fictional movie (a rom com no less) is not proof of anything.

 

Sounds like you simply haven't had much luck with women. I suggest try to meet people through activities, clubs, common hobbies, instead of cold approaching. Some people are just out to have some fun with friends, or even by themselves, not open to being approached, or they are attached (not single), or they are simply not attracted to you. Of course, there's also nothing wrong with being aware of strangers approaching in public and staying vigilant in general. I don't see how that's anything to do with female sexuality and how they perceive it.

Regarding that woman in your example, I would just consider her rude or overreacting, or simple as being surprised by you possibly being in her personal space without her realising (as she wasn't paying attention, not your fault). She, as a person, a human being, can be all these things, without thinking or implying anything about you as a man. I think it was quite a reach to make up in your own mind what she must have been thinking when she reacted that way. Seems more like you're being over sensitive due to past experiences and now are creating scenarios in your own mind.

 

I think it would be more productive to focus on what you can do differently in your dating approach rather than attempting to "educate" an entire gender based on your interpretations of that gender (which isn't even accurate, certainly not to the gender as a general sense, might be true for some people and maybe some of the women you've interacted with).

 

The boldened part is exactly what I have been trying to do. I have come across some ladies who are simply and genuinely not ready to date. And, I came across many others who tell me that she wants to stay friends whilst single yet ends up with a male competitor weeks or days later, whilst acting they've been loved up...for...YEARS! All I just really want is not to give an entire gender a re-education on how they ought to express themselves, but I simply want a God damn break. I actually want to my perpetual run of romantic and sexual bad luck to get smashed into pieces. The one problem with going to hobbies, clubs, activities etc is that most women will simply not be there - as much as I have varying interests. I went to literally dozens of Meetups and other events and I only ended up with a handful of potential romantic leads (only for me to never see them again) - mostly because single women are just not there. Also, singles events are misleading in nature because they actually mean "single but not looking or single due to incomptatibility". I'm so tired of not being able to get some decent, loving lady any well off, buffed up competitor can.

[Batya33]

"Batya...what I mean by myself is I don't mind making friends with women...I can make friendships with ladies in the nearby deli or bar, for example. Regularly say hi and give a brief chit chat.

 

But, I prefer not to be close friends with women who I consider as potential prospects for something more serious. Why would the term "friendzoned" actually apply? I can say hello and interact with such ladies from time to time, but not become too chummy with them on a platonic level."

 

In your situation, with your reactions that you've written about here, you'd do well to develop platonic friendships with women (not women you are very attracted to or who you want to date).

 

I agree that you read into things too much. I don't like being approached by men I don't know in a non-social situation if the man invades my personal space -I am petite for one thing. I don't think it has to do with gender -you probably are approaching in a way that has uncomfortable body language/vibes and of course if you have any kind of "hitting on" expression and the person is not interested, the person will let you know And your negativity/fear of rejection probably comes through and can be off-putting.

[Ajaxajax1]

"Batya...what I mean by myself is I don't mind making friends with women...I can make friendships with ladies in the nearby deli or bar, for example. Regularly say hi and give a brief chit chat.

 

But, I prefer not to be close friends with women who I consider as potential prospects for something more serious. Why would the term "friendzoned" actually apply? I can say hello and interact with such ladies from time to time, but not become too chummy with them on a platonic level."

 

In your situation, with your reactions that you've written about here, you'd do well to develop platonic friendships with women (not women you are very attracted to or who you want to date).

 

I agree that you read into things too much. I don't like being approached by men I don't know in a non-social situation if the man invades my personal space -I am petite for one thing. I don't think it has to do with gender -you probably are approaching in a way that has uncomfortable body language/vibes and of course if you have any kind of "hitting on" expression and the person is not interested, the person will let you know And your negativity/fear of rejection probably comes through and can be off-putting.

 

As I said, I don't mind making platonic relationships with non dateable women, but what good would that do in making me setting myself up with dateable women more productive?

 

I have actually altered my body language quite a lot recently, but I still don't get honesty on whether some ladies are genuinely interested or not. And, I am refraining from certain "hitting on" moves such as suddenly including myself into a conversation between a few women already taking place...which to me seems inconsiderate. So, I am making progress with body language.

 

So, really, I may have to forget making any move on a lady outside of a social situation (preferably, a repeated one)? That I think is what you might be saying...

[Batya33]

As I said, I don't mind making platonic relationships with non dateable women, but what good would that do in making me setting myself up with dateable women more productive?

 

I have actually altered my body language quite a lot recently, but I still don't get honesty on whether some ladies are genuinely interested or not. And, I am refraining from certain "hitting on" moves such as suddenly including myself into a conversation between a few women already taking place...which to me seems inconsiderate. So, I am making progress with body language.

 

So, really, I may have to forget making any move on a lady outside of a social situation (preferably, a repeated one)? That I think is what you might be saying...

 

I don't think what I am writing is helpful because you're not interpreting it as I intended - not sure if that's because I'm not being clear or you have some sort of agenda. Either way I'm bowing out and deferring to the excellent input you've received from others. Good luck.

[Ajaxajax1]

SOME SORT OF AGENDA?!

 

Batya, I am actually rather insulted by your comment. Go bow out. I don't know if it's because of the limitations of online communication. But, either way, you appear to think that I'm in the wrong just because I'm male! All I really wanted was for you women not to be scared of me just because some of you had the terrible misfortune of rape, subordination or being used up in any other way within your love lives.

Is that SIMPLY...too...much...to...ask?!

[HeartGoesOn]

This thread has run its course.