Sadandhurt1 Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 I'm trying so hard and was getting some progress but lately I've just been in the worst moods and things are not looking up for me. I've also been having so many dreams of the ex and idk what to do anymore because even in my sleep I can't runaway from him. I'm just so frustrated and I've been crying again lately. I just feel like I didn't get the right closure and it's driving me insane. I almost WISH there was another girl just so it can push me forward and motivate me more despite knowing that it would probably kill me. I love him so much it drives me insane but I really wish I should've just steered clear away from him. I knew the moment I met him I'd be in big trouble and here I am. I try everything, new hobbies, yesterday I watched a movie alone. I go out with friends I hang out with my family, I work, I go to the gym. Everything! But I can't get him out of my head. I just wish I could've gotten better closure. I absolutely hate it! I miss him so much, I don't know what to do anymore! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miqos2009 Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 You need to console yourself and move on, it's just not meant to be and this is part of life's experiences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 Have you set up a profile and pics on dating apps so you can browse? Try that to see who's out there. When you feel ready, start talking to and meeting guys for coffee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob2526 Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 It's been over three months since my break up and over two months of no contact and for some reason the last couple days have been kind of rough for me. I wanted to text her but I know how much that can set me back and I don't need that since overall I've been doing pretty well over the last couple weeks. I still think of her and wish her well but I'm still letting go. Reading has helped me a lot. I recommend the book conscious uncoupling. It's really good and it explains a lot about what we are going through and it really helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
animaldvm Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 I am going through a break up too. It's very difficult at first to get yourself to stop thinking of what could have been and how happy you were in the relationship. NC helps and after weeks things will get easier. But it is normal to have set backs and miss them again randomly. Breaking NC can set you back further. Think about why you broke up in the first place. Can you work on yourself and fix things or is it him who needs to fix things? Time heals wounds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnson91 Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 I'm trying so hard and was getting some progress but lately I've just been in the worst moods and things are not looking up for me. I've also been having so many dreams of the ex and idk what to do anymore because even in my sleep I can't runaway from him. I'm just so frustrated and I've been crying again lately. I just feel like I didn't get the right closure and it's driving me insane. I almost WISH there was another girl just so it can push me forward and motivate me more despite knowing that it would probably kill me. I love him so much it drives me insane but I really wish I should've just steered clear away from him. I knew the moment I met him I'd be in big trouble and here I am. I try everything, new hobbies, yesterday I watched a movie alone. I go out with friends I hang out with my family, I work, I go to the gym. Everything! But I can't get him out of my head. I just wish I could've gotten better closure. I absolutely hate it! I miss him so much, I don't know what to do anymore! I feel the same way. I'm trying so hard to get my mind off of him but I just can't. It does get better everyday but it still hurts. I just pray I get over him fast because now it's interfering with my regular life. I'm considering going to my doctor about it. So depressed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbogdanov Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 The healing process is not linear so you WILL feel bad sometimes but the overall trend should be "I am getting better and better". I myself am experiencing the same things but the "bad" moments seem to be less compared to a couple of months ago. Believe me - even if you could get the right closure, you will not feel better at all. I too thought a proper closure will make me feel good but it didn't. There were more and more questions coming from my mind and I was torturing myself. My ex was honest and gave me all the answers I wanted, she even agreed once to meet with me to answer all my questions I had previously thought up. I made some kind of a retrospective, starting from the very beginning of our relationship, revisiting all the small and not so small events. I got answers for every question I could come up with, I realized all the mistakes I'd made during these 3.5 years, I think I got one of the most comprehensive explanations about a breakup from an ex in the whole history of human relationships While it helped me a lot to understand what should I change in myself for the better, it didn't help me suffer less. I am still having the occasional sad period like I had in the beginning. These periods are becoming less severe and not so often, but they are there and they will be for some time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob2526 Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 The healing process is not linear so you WILL feel bad sometimes but the overall trend should be "I am getting better and better". I myself am experiencing the same things but the "bad" moments seem to be less compared to a couple of months ago. Believe me - even if you could get the right closure, you will not feel better at all. I too thought a proper closure will make me feel good but it didn't. There were more and more questions coming from my mind and I was torturing myself. My ex was honest and gave me all the answers I wanted, she even agreed once to meet with me to answer all my questions I had previously thought up. I made some kind of a retrospective, starting from the very beginning of our relationship, revisiting all the small and not so small events. I got answers for every question I could come up with, I realized all the mistakes I'd made during these 3.5 years, I think I got one of the most comprehensive explanations about a breakup from an ex in the whole history of human relationships While it helped me a lot to understand what should I change in myself for the better, it didn't help me suffer less. I am still having the occasional sad period like I had in the beginning. These periods are becoming less severe and not so often, but they are there and they will be for some time... Just wondering how long have you been broken up? It's been three months for me and things are actually going pretty good for me. I still get those sad moments but I tell you today I rarely thought of my ex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbogdanov Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 Since the beginning of December, that makes 4 months now I too admit that I feel a lot better now, but there is still long path to healing. The stupid thing for me is that I've neven been in NC with my ex, the longest period for me was 3 weeks. So these 4 months were not used rationally by me. Reading helps me too, like you said. I've read a lot of information about relationships, breakups etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miqos2009 Posted April 15, 2017 Share Posted April 15, 2017 The healing process is not linear so you WILL feel bad sometimes but the overall trend should be "I am getting better and better". I myself am experiencing the same things but the "bad" moments seem to be less compared to a couple of months ago. Believe me - even if you could get the right closure, you will not feel better at all. I too thought a proper closure will make me feel good but it didn't. There were more and more questions coming from my mind and I was torturing myself. My ex was honest and gave me all the answers I wanted, she even agreed once to meet with me to answer all my questions I had previously thought up. I made some kind of a retrospective, starting from the very beginning of our relationship, revisiting all the small and not so small events. I got answers for every question I could come up with, I realized all the mistakes I'd made during these 3.5 years, I think I got one of the most comprehensive explanations about a breakup from an ex in the whole history of human relationships While it helped me a lot to understand what should I change in myself for the better, it didn't help me suffer less. I am still having the occasional sad period like I had in the beginning. These periods are becoming less severe and not so often, but they are there and they will be for some time... Do you think you are to blame for the breakup? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FindingPurpose Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 I would have to say that closure wont make the pain any less. My ex broke up with me a year ago almost but i have had no contact with him for barely 4 days. We tried the "friend" thing and the "lets work on it" thing but he was still doing things that made me feel empty. I recently found out he had been in contact with a girl from his past and I blamed everything on her. He would deny it or give me a vague answer. Like you, i felt that if he would tell me that he ended things with me to pursue "her" that it would motivate me to keep going with this no contact thing.... today i saw a picture of him on IG and "her" commenting something that solidified that they were more than friends..... that was basically my "closure" and to be honest I would have much rather not seen that and continued to just deal with the information i currently had. Now i have more questions and more negative thoughts and its becoming harder to cope. So my suggestion is to leave it alone... and carry on and continue to heal without any "closure". it wont make the pain any easier ... it may even make you start over and we all know the extra pain and sadness we have felt isnt worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbogdanov Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 Do you think you are to blame for the breakup? Yes, I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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